When The Luna Broke Her Chains novel Chapter 95

Chapter 95 Until I Stopped Thinking

[KNOX]

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“You can’t go,” I force the words out, and I hate that I have to say them, hate that Xena stood here and asked me to command it like it would cost me nothing.

She thinks I’d simply decide to let her walk away and be done with it. And why? To be rid of her husband? Have I not already fixed that by pulling her away from them, by separating her from that family and everything tied to it, and letting her live in individual, comfortable chambers? And to make Davina happy? The thought alone irritates me. Why would I burden myself with that—to please someone I don’t even tolerate, much less like?

I don’t know what I’m feeling. It sits somewhere between anger and annoyance, something heavier than both, something I don’t have a name for. But I’m displeased.

Teo is worse. He growls low in the back of my mind, restless, thrashing at the idea she just put into the world: her leaving. It feels impossible. That I won’t see her in the corridors anymore, that I won’t catch glimpses of her when she doesn’t know I’m watching, that she will simply be gone.

It doesn’t make sense. And yet it does.

I don’t understand what this is between us, but I’ve known it exists since that moment at the temple, since that sharp lurch in my chest I couldn’t explain when she handed me the bread, thinking I was a beggar. I never questioned it, because it didn’t feel wrong or dangerous. I told myself it was simple: I was protective of her. That was enough.

Now I’m not sure.

Would it make me possessive to keep her here? To want to know where she is, what she’s doing, to make sure she doesn’t disappear somewhere I can’t reach? Does that make it something else entirely?

My throat tightens, the pressure building at my temples, and I’m aware of it in a distant way, and of how close I’m to losing control of something I’ve kept contained. None of it shows on my face–I’m grateful for that, because she shouldn’t know how much she affects me. She shouldn’t know what it has cost me to stay

away.

I hadn’t planned to see her. I wasn’t looking for her; I was walking to the other side of the corridor, thinking of something else, and then she was there, walking toward me, and I knew I wouldn’t let her pass me this time. The restraint I built over the last week gave way without warning.

And for what? So she could stand here and blame me for everything? What about me?

Has she thought about that at all? What it’s been like to avoid her when she’s right here, in the same tower, close enough that I could reach her in minutes if I let myself? About forcing myself to look away, to keep walking, not to stop when every instinct told me to?

That night, when the names were announced, I knew I was making a mistake. Iver leaned in more times than I can count, telling me to look away, telling me people were watching, that they would notice where my attention was. And it was on her. Xena.

So yes. I brought that attention on her. Yes, people look at her differently now. But why does she let it

matter?

“Why can’t you let me go?” she asks, her voice dropping quieter now, edged with something that sounds too close to defeat. “Come on, Knox. I need an answer!”

13:59 Tue, Apr 28

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Chapter 95 Until 1 Stopped Thinking

My name. The way she says it–it pulls something loose in my head.

For a second, everything in my mind stalls, like I’ve lost the thread completely. Pathetic.

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Finished

I straighten, take a step forward, intending to regain control, to reassert something solid, and try to be intimidating to someone who dared to question me. All it does is bring me closer to her. Too close.

I can smell her now. It hits me all at once–it doesn’t belong to anything I know, caught between a wolf and a human and something else entirely, that settles into my chest and spreads. I’ve noticed it before. I ignored it.

I feel myself leaning in without meaning to.

She doesn’t step back. She leans in too. Her gaze drops to my lips, and our world narrows. The corridor disappears. The palace disappears. Everything else falls away until there is only this–only her standing this close, the sound of her breathing, the way her lips part slightly.

I could pull her into the corner. The thought comes out of nowhere. I could kiss her until she stops thinking.

Until I stop thinking.

No. What the fuck-

Her tongue slips out briefly, brushing over her lips, and something in me reacts instantly, sharp and undeniable.

Her eyes look distant, like she’s in a trance, and I know for sure I’m in one, too, because there’s no other explanation for this.

Pain slices through my wrist without warning. I inhale sharply and look down. The scar is glowing. Red and bright, alive in a way it has never been.

I expect pain. Instead, something warm floods through me, heavy and disorienting, like I’m sinking into something I can’t fight. I look back at her. She’s staring at it.

“Wolf… head,” she murmurs, like she’s not fully here.

I don’t understand. I only realize then how close I am, how easily this crosses a line I cannot cross.

Xena pulls away first like she’s woken up. Her hand comes to her chest, her breathing uneven, and something in my own chest twists in response. I glance behind me.

Iver is there, staring at the floor, shoulders stiff, pretending he hasn’t seen anything. Of course. I drag a hand down my face, forcing myself back into control.

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