Now and Forever novel Chapter 46

There wasn't a moment of hesitation. His mouth was on mine, and I stopped breathing. Little shivers of pleasure and panic shot through me as he deepened the kiss, parting my lips. I stopped thinking.

His tongue slips inside my mouth, gentle but demanding, and it's nothing like I've ever experienced, and I suddenly understand why people describe kissing as melting because every square inch of my body dissolves into his. My fingers grip his hair, pulling him closer, making him shudder and produce a sound from the back of his throat, half growl, half moan.

He puts a hand under my leg and in one swift moment I'm lying on my back with him on top of me. Lowering my hands, I tugged at his shirt. He broke apart long enough to pull it over his head and toss it aside. His hands slid around my head, pulling me back to his mouth.

His hands were moving down, under my shirt, his fingers skimming over my skin, sending a rush of blood to every part of my body. And then my shirt joined his on the floor, leaving me only in my bra and shorts.

"So beautiful," he murmured against my swollen lips before moving on to assault my neck and chest with little nibbles and kisses here and there of pleasure.

"Stop." I couldn't take it anymore.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked and immediately stopped what he was doing.

"Then what's wrong?" He asked again when I'd shaken my head no.

"I need to pee." I confessed.

Ah.. the perks of being pregnant..

Can't even go through a freakin' make out session without being reminded of the fetus growing inside of me..

"You need to pee?" He asked in disbelief, which made me giggle at the astonishment on his face.

"Mm-hm."

"Wha- tell me this is a joke.." he groaned and rested his head in the crook of my neck.

"I really wish it was but if I don't go now, I might explode." I rolled him off me and literally ran to the bathroom.

Alexander P.O.V

Fear.

Fear is all I felt coursing through my body as soon the words I so much did not want to hear came out of her mouth.

"She's pregnant."

I know I might seem -scratch that- I am the bad guy for telling Amelia to get an abortion because in that moment I was only thinking about myself and how it was going to affect me- not even thinking about how her life was going to change as well.

I'm scared of the fact that when the baby arrives I'm gonna change my mind and want to take care of him/ her instead.

I'm scared of the fact that if I do change my mind it would make things even more complicated than they already are.

But worst of all? I'm scared I'm going to love it- him/ her. I can't.

I can't love a child and at the same time be working 24/ 7. I just can't.

I can't promise him or her that I'd be there at every recital/ game when really I'm just getting their hopes up for nothing.

It won't be fair to a child to have me as a father.

It won't be fair at all.

So to me, the easiest way to get out of that situation was for her to get an abortion but not anymore.

I've changed my mind.

I want to be apart of this child's life- busy or not.

"What're you thinking about?" Amelia asked when she got back from the bathroom.

"Nothing." I replied almost immediately but that fortunately went unnoticed.