Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 93

“Has Leyanne said how much longer she needs?” I pull us back to our topic in hand, walking to her and kneeling down to meet her face and Meadow deflates completely.

“She’s ready to go whenever we are. She’s as ready as she can be, and they’re just going over the same things until we say it’s happening.” That downward shuffle of her eyes tells me this is a confession of sorts. I eye her up and know with that admission that Meadow is the one who has delayed things. Knowing she didn’t want me to be a part of this, she’s made sure I thought there was still time to change the plan. Maybe she was holding out for the vampires to pull back and for the high lord to intervene… either way, I can tell she’s kept this close to her chest, so I won’t push us to just do it.

This girl! Protecting me even by delaying reunion with her own mate. I can’t be mad at her for that.

“So…. by day or night? Which works in our favor.” I don’t intend to argue over this with her or make her feel worse or get bogged down in these emotional details. I just need us to do this and stop the climbing anticipation and anxiety from growing further.

“Day… it separates them. Wolves to the woods, Vampires to the mountain. Even if the wolves follow us, it still makes it less likely of encountering them all out here in the space when our goal is the mountain. We may not be enough to fight them all once when we get there, but the witch just needs her moment. We need to distract and give her a little time. Once she breaks the spell, the wolves come back to us and the vampires become less of a problem when we want to leave. We just need to hold our own until she does what she needs to do.” Meadow stops crying, pulls herself together and sits up to gaze at me. My bossy commander coming back to me when she knows she has to accept and get on with her duty.

“And how many of us do we have that are capable of helping and not hindering?” I ask gently, knowing all this she has kept quiet from me until now.

“We have less than a dozen who are fight ready, but we can make up numbers to two dozen with males from the village who are willing to try. The stronger ones… faster ones, and some with unique gifts.”

My heart sinks and my pulse quickens, knowing that’s less than I hoped for.

“Against dozens of our own… we’re still going to be so small. Outnumbered by our fiercest. God, how did we let this happen?” The despair rings in my tone, no need to pretend I am not freaking out in front of her, because she know sit too. Meadow rubs her face, sighing heavily to calm herself and grabs my hand to reassure me.

“There’s no point pondering on the how… that won’t give you the right mindset to get through it.” Carmen’s voice startles us from out of nowhere, strong and clear with that bitchy tone that separates her from other femmes. We both turn in shock at the presence that has been elusive for days, expecting to see a moody and frosty Carmen, but she looks awful though.

Dark circles under her eyes where normally her skin was fair and blemish free; her figure is slimmer, like she’s not eating well and she has a pale pallor and tiredness to her eyes that suggest she isn’t sleeping either. I never saw her this way, not even back when Colton and she were falling apart, and it shocks me to my core to see her so unkempt. All her life and vigor is missing.

“True.” I concur, not drawing attention to how rough she looks and welcome her with a gesture, a flick of my fingers to come over and join us.

“How have you been, Chica?” Meadow is the one to ask, softer with her since Jasper rejected her that day and Carmen shrugs, dismissing it with a sigh. Another non answer that she’s so good at. She moves nearer but doesn’t sit down on the grass with us, just lingers as though she feels like she’s invading. My heart aches for this girl anytime I see her now, and I just wish she would trust even me enough to let someone close. After those days away, I thought we would have at least taken a step forward as friends. All she did upon return was push everyone further away and killed any progress I thought I might have made with her.

“Raring to go beat the shit out of vampire ass and teach those witches a thing or two.” Her tone is familiar old haughty Carmen but the intent behind it seems forced. She gives of an aura of emptiness and I frown at her, trying so hard to get a read properly on her emotions but get that cold wall again.

“Sure, you’re up to it?” I query, not entirely convinced she has it in her to be helpful but her stubborn jut of her chin and the way she pulls her shoulders back speaks volumes.

“Yes! How else am I going to vent all this rage and fury to get it out of my system. Those monsters took my mom…. I have a score to settle and I’m sorry, I know they’re also kind of your people, but your brother is right. You have to avenge those you love, or it festers, and it no longer matters if people you care about are connected in some way.” There’s an icy edge to her words that sobers the mood.

Meadow catches my eye over the top of her head, a worried glance at Carmen’s mental state but I one shoulder shrug it off. I know what she means and how she feels. She’s hurting, and much like Jasper, she feels that only taking some action against the cause of that pain will ease some of her pain. She’s not unstable, she’s angry, and broken up, and looking to find a way to offload all the horrendous number of feelings coursing through her.

And no, I don’t care if I’m meant to be half of what those things are. In my head I already separated that issue out and came to a conclusion why killing them has never really been an issue at all. Darrius called them halflings, turned creatures with no real link to those born like we are. They’re not what I am at all… their like lab rats, injected with a booster to make them worthy as soldiers and a pale copy of something they were never meant to be. The ones like me, with red eyes, they have never graced the battlefield and come up against the wolves, well, except one – my father. Wherever he is. So, killing the halflings is nothing at all like killing the ones who share my blood, because they were infected and not created in nature.

“I don’t care how many you kill; god knows we have these past months. I’m not one of them and I understand your need to do this.” It’s a blessing in a way and I lock my eyes on her to push the point that I truly don’t care.