Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 94

“Are you sure you want to do this” Meadow sidetracks me as I make my way to the podium of our new town hall that was only finished in recent weeks and is three times bigger than the hall of the house. Flanked by two temporary sentinels.

“Yes. They need to know that by this time tomorrow they may not have a Luna, or Alpha, coming back. I need them to be prepared and to know what comes after. I owe them honesty to what’s happening after the patience for the last days.” I thought this through all night, tossing and turning once we set the plan in motion and decided tomorrow at dawn we are to move on the mountain. This will be our last night with the pack and with that fog surrounding us. Last night I watched my mate slide away in the darkness from me for the last time and said my goodbyes, just in case.

Leyanne is certain she can protect us one by one from the effects of the green smog, with the casting of a spell on every wolf that we’ve rallied to fight. She plans on splashing us all with some kind of potion after they all turn, so it’s effects won’t be lost. Minus me. I’m to stay human and there’s not much we can do about that.

Twenty-three of us in total, handpicked from our strongest and have been sworn to secrecy until now. I realized in the night that these men and women shouldn’t have to lie to their mates and loved ones when there’s a chance it’s the last time they might see any of them. I want them to value tonight, cherish each other, and be prepared for what’s coming.

Colton said we would always be honest with the pack and I’m not doing what I agreed if I don’t tell them what’s to come. It’s an oath he swore the night he made me his Luna, and I won’t let him down by breaking his word. They know something is brewing and that we are working on a way to clear the fog; they have waited for news and put so much trust in me, and I’m about to tell them everything.

Sierra is already on the podium waiting for me, after assembling many of the able bodied here and those without children in tow, and it’s weird to see her out among the people in this way. She has spent months in solitude, hiding away and saying she wasn’t ready to be among them again. I guess after leaving her to watch our home for two days she had to force herself out of her comfort zone to face them and hasn’t reverted back to her wing since. She’s been part of every decision and plan, our makeshift task force of women as we agree on the fate of our people. I don’t know what I would have done without her, Meadow, Leyanne, and even Carmen. Who knew that the once proud and arrogant pack of Juan Santo, the most sexist wolf alive, would be held together and run by femmes. There’s poetic justice in that somewhere. Those he considered too weak to ever thwart him, to rule him, and yet it was women who have ruined everything he held aloft. Even now he’s enslaved in fog, much to the thanks of unknown witches.

I step up and smile at her, meeting her eye for a little push of bravado, nerves cloying at my throat as the eyes of dozens and dozens land quietly on me. I inhale to steady the anxiety coursing through my veins, take her hand and gently squeeze it to tell her I’m ready and I’ve got this.

These people rely on me and have done since the fog came and I don’t want to let them down anymore. I feel like I’ve done nothing so far to really help them through this, even if I did go off and bring back a witch.

I clear my throat and step to the microphone that’s been set up to face the bodies crammed in here, catching Meadows eye across to the left and the looking out over the sea of faces slowly. I spot Leyanne and Carmen standing right at the back, on chairs, side by side, so they get an unobstructed view and Carmen gives me a thumbs up, encouraging me in her own weird way. I clear my throat and focus on the faces below me, shivers running through my soul; but I bite down and show them the face of fierce I know I still possess.

“Thank you all for coming here on such short notice. I know not everyone can fit inside, so I ask that you spread this news among your families when I am done, and we share my words so all can hear them clearly.” My hands tremble, exposing the cold fear in my heart, and I grasp the cold metals stand to hide my lack of confidence. So not used to standing up and commanding an audience the way Colton can. Somewhere deep inside, I’m still that orphaned no one that this pack paid no attention too and I feel like a fraud, standing up here in the absence of him, to tell them what to do. “As you know, a little over a week ago a green mist covered our land and took several dozen of our pack with it. Enchanting them in a spell that seems to have turned them mindless and feral. We all know they stalk the border, and the vampires are behind this maneuver, shielded by our own and using them for their own purposes.” There’s a murmur among some of those near the back as people voice suspicions, conspiracies and I even here Juan’s name on the flutter of noise. Sierra claps her hand to bring quiet once more, glaring with a commandeering edge, snatching attention back and they simmer back respectfully. I swallow heavily, take a deep breath and continue.

“I know by now that some of you have learned that I left the homestead for a couple of days, to bring back a witch… Leyanne Cruden…” I nod towards her at the back and there’s a deathly hush as a few eyes turn her away and back again quickly, as no wolf has been brave enough to really look her in the eye since they found out what she was. Some guessed at the arrival of this stranger, but we have never really clarified any of these details and just let rumor spread. Too focused on everything else to open up to them and I feel ashamed that I waited until now.

Wolves still fear witches, even though they accepted Sierra, but seeing what the fog has done, only renewed that terror of their kind. The unrest grows and I taste the wave of increasing anticipation and anxiety among them.

“We brought her back with a plan to break the spell and free our pack, but it’s not as straightforward as we hoped. So this is why I brought you here. To prepare you in case the worst should happen, and our plan should fail.” I inhale heavily, voice beginning to rasp as my emotions get the better of me, my stomach churning my hands trembling, but I know this is the only way and verbalizing it somehow makes it more real. “Tomorrow morning, two dozen of our strongest are planning to mount an attack and head for the mountain. To give the witch access and time to get to the source of the spell, and disable it. She needs to physically get there, and we need to offer distraction to ensure she can. I’m telling you because two dozen us are not five dozen of our warriors, and several dozen vampires we know reside in the mountain. There’s a high chance that some of us may not come back even if we are successful….. I may not come back. I’m weakened by something, and I won’t be able to turn to fight as one of you, but I will still lead the battle. As Luna, my death will be the Alpha’s death and as our pack, I need you to be prepared to carry on without us. The Rema and I are linked, so she too won’t be here to carry on should I fall. In one loss, you would lose all three of us.” the gasps and horror that reverberates through the crowd ring out painfully, suffocating me with their emotions and almost causing my head and chest to explode with the sudden rush. I have to dampen my gift as my heart swells painfully, and my eyes and ears sting with the incoming distraught feelings of many. I step back to give myself a moment to catch my breath as a lone voice calls out boldly.

“The Luna should stay with the people… we need you. Protect the Alpha and Rema by being with us.”

It almost breaks me, but I shake my head and almost cry as the words burn my throat. Knowing that’s the path they would expect, and no one would look down on me for it. I know that it’s not what is needed to be done and the fates brought me here to this for one purpose.

“I’m the strongest left here, with the most useful gifts. Without me the mission has less chance of success and our pack will certainly perish out there. I’m sorry, but if there was another way, I would take it….. but there isn’t. I have to be your leader and do what’s best for the pack. My mate would always put his life on the line for you and I should do the same.” The words are killing me as eyes round and faces pale as my words settle in, and I realize tears are starting to roll down my face. The inner heaviness consuming me because on some level, I feel like I’m abandoning my children, and this feels like a goodbye. Terror gripping me coldly that I am truly leading them to their death by leaving them alone to continue without their anchors in life. A pack without an Alpha, nor a Luna, is a pack without it’s soul.

I curse myself for not being as strong as Colton, for not being able to push my fear behind the mask he wears so well and shows them an unbreakable face. I’m not him, and I can’t hide what this means for them if I fail.

“Then take more of us…. we outnumber them as a pack, even without our strongest. It’s our duty to protect our Luna, for the good of us all.” Another voice calls out and then another with the same sentiment, and I raise my hands to quiet the growing noise.

“No. I can’t risk more lives than I have to… you all have a chance at a future without us if I don’t come back. This is what must be done. There are vulnerable here. Children, pregnant femmes, and older wolves who need to be protected. I will take only those who can fight and stand a chance of surviving. I won’t leave you without means to have a future.” My voice breaks, a burning ache in my throat strangling me as my hormones spiral and I end up wiping my face to try and calm my unstoppable tears. I have no verbal way to express to these people how much I care about them continuing without us, should that be needed. I love all of them and see them as our legacy, to carry on when we’re gone. These are our pack, in our homestead, and we must ensure their survival beyond this fight.

“This isn’t how packs work, Luna.” A male voice echoes my way from the left and I turn to see Tom, the sentinel who helped us leave, stand to voice his own opinion. Keeping his eyes downcast to show me respect but his words are clear. “We protect our Luna in the absence of our Alpha… we stay together, to survive together. That is our nature. Without our Luna, there is no pack. She’s the heart that keeps us as one…. look at the mountain and the years we grew apart without one. Our people divided by names and bloodlines until we shunned those we should have sheltered. We lost our way without our heart….” Tom’s voice carries boldly through the suddenly silent room as Sierra stifles a cry behind me and her guilt and regret at what he’s saying almost end me. Ebbing my way as her own shredded heart bleeds at abandoning them to Juan’s fate and only makes me worse.

“I won’t sacrifice any of you. We’re doing this in the hopes we break the spell and come back to the mountain with our pack and our Alpha. So we can fight to rid ourselves of the vampires, together.” I try to stay firm, push back the feeble tears and find that inner courage I know I possess.

“And how will our Alpha feel to know that when our Luna needed us, we stayed behind like cowards?” another call out, another male, and I falter as I try to find the new voice in the crowd, beginning to get overwhelmed. I feel like I’m losing control of commanding them, even if their words are not against me at all.

“He will know I commanded it and you’re to obey me when he’s not here.” I stammer the words, Sierra grasping my hand from behind to support me and I spot Meadow from the corner of my eye, sliding to sit down. She must have stood to come to my aid and quiet those disrespecting me. She should be hushing those calling out, talking out of turn, disobeying my command, but I can tell she knows they are not doing it with malice and she can’t answer them. She agrees.

“We can’t obey our Luna when it directly endangers her life… it’s against all we are.” This femme is in the front row, young, bold, and stares me right in the eye with passion despite knowing she’s stepping over the mark and breaking the rules. “You’ve been our rock since you came here. You held us up and stood by his side to keep the people safe. You’ve worked to build the school, the village, the security and sanity of all of us. You care about us and it shows in your people…… How can you ask us to sit back and watch you walk into the fire after all you have given us?” Her words completely choke me, and I open my mouth to reply but nothing comes out. I don’t know what to say or how to reply when my heart is bleeding from such raw wounds.

Months ago, I was nothing to these people, and here they are, trying to convince me that they need me, that they want to stand with me to fight for our pack. I can’t take this, it’s too intense and I am starting to crumble. I’m no leader, this is proof right here, as I falter and break because my pack decide to disobey me. I have no control over what they choose.

“Don’t make us disobey you, Luna, please….. we don’t want to dishonor you. We all respect you to the moon and back, but the Alpha he would never see us worthy if we stayed and you went. We belong by your side, as one pack.” It’s one of the midwifes, pushing through the crowd towards me and one of the few of our citizens that has the right to look me in the eye. I have talked with her many times over the months to improve the facilities for birth and the care of newborns, and even witnessed a few under her attentive hand. She’s someone who works closely with me when needed and I know her words are from the heart.

“Most of you are not fighters…. You won’t survive. You don’t know what it’s like to come up against them.” it’s my last-ditch attempt to make them understand the dangers, the almost certain death for many of them, and it’s as feeble as it sounds. My body vibrating as I cling on to my last shreds of sanity and composure knowing the crowd is against me as the noise begins to grow form hushed whispers to louder refusals.

“We are more in numbers than they are… we can use that to our advantage, and if some are lost, it’s for the good of the pack.” It’s an elderly wolf, near the last phase of his life cycle. One who has seen many things, endured many battles, many wars, and his soft gaze warms me painfully. “A pack is only a pack when we stand and die together, Luna….. Protecting our previous Luna was denied us and for almost a decade we failed her. We won’t stand back and lose you both and do nothing but watch. We as Santos have to redeem ourselves for the things our alpha did in our name. Juan dishonored us and ripped our pack apart; we came here and we began to heal, to bond again….. don’t take that from us again by making us fail when it matters.”

A sob escapes my lips and I have to cover my mouth with a desperate move to control myself.