SAGE novel Chapter 29

Connor Simpson

I have to say, throughout the summer I've came a long way. I'm not the same person I was two months ago or even before that.

I won't say I've changed for the better because all of the changes I've gone through are because of hate, but not all of them are because of hate.

Three people made me, they molded me. Maze, Sebastian and mom. Even though they did but Sage has also been a huge part of my change. He's been the one good thing that happened to me this summer, a positive influence, someone to depend on when days are dark.

I embrace the change, the good and the bad but my heart still breaks each morning. I miss mom yet I can't find it in my heart to forgive her. To look past everything.

I opened the door to the house that has been my home for almost two months.

I locked it after talking off my shoes. I threw my keys on the bowl by the door. I could hear music playing low in the living room just how Sage likes it when he wants to relax.

Today at work was one of the good days. Maze was bearable. He wasn't so obnoxious like he always is.

I must admit, I've grown cocky throughout the summer. The power has gone to my head and I can't help it.

I've been the nice guy my whole life, I thought I liked it, being good. I thought that was what would make me succeed in a way but recently I found another purpose. Being nice, being good doesn't get you anymore. People walk all over you, you don't get respected.

I'm not so nice anymore. People used to call me Sebastian and Sage's pet. Their lackey but not anymore.

They used to call me a wuss well now I'm involved in illegal racing. I bet they've never done anything illegal.

My attitude is turning to be just like theirs. Just the other day I slept with someone who wasn't even my girlfriend.

I walked to the kitchen and got a water bottle out of the fridge. I twisted it open and drank it while walking to the living room.

Today was one of those days when I got back early than usual.

The music was low that I could hear the voices. I could hear what they were saying.

I immediately froze on the spot. I leaned against the wall and clutch my heart.

I knew I told Sage I'd be civil with Sebastian but I couldn't. I hated Sebastian. He ruined my perfect home. But the truth is, how can you have someone you've loved for so long. You end up hating yourself. I would like to hate Sebastian but I can't.

My cheat was pounding and adrenaline was pumping. I was about to let all hell break loose when their conversation stopped me.

I listened in.

"I don't know how to explain it to you or anyone else without sounding crazy." Sebastian sighed.

"I'm not a judgmental person Sebastian. Make me understand. What made you betray your friend?" Sage asked.

"It's crazy. It's not like I wanted to betray him but believe me when I say, for the first time in a very long time. I trusted a woman. You know my history with my mom. It's not the best. I've never trusted a woman. Maybe it was because both of us are screwed up, fucked up but she saw me. She saw me for me. It was nice increasing my circle. For a very long time you were my friend then Connor came along. I'm sure he became my friend because of you."

That was true. I heard Sage sigh.

"And don't tell me it's because he wanted to be my friend. At school, people either hate me or fear me and those that hate me fear me more than hate so all of them fear me and on the other hand, you and Connor are loved by everyone. So when Barbra started talking to me, it was nice. We understood each other. The time Connor caught us it was the first time we ever did that. I'll admit, we've kissed so many times but we never went that far. I don't know why we went far that time. But aside from that. Barbra and I were just friends. Sure we kissed but majority of the time we were friends. I would help her when she was short on cash and she'd pay me back. She was someone I could relay on besides the two of you."

The words sank in. I knew it was the truth because Sebastian wasn't a lair. He was many things but a lair wasn't one of them.

He is a blunt truth teller. No matter how ugly the truth was, he always said it.

At that time my mind filled with so many thought.

I never gave myself the time to hear the side of their story. I just to concluded how it all went down. A phrase Maze always said whenever I started cussing him out for instructions he was giving me popped in my head.

'Be quick to hear, slow to judge and think before you talk.'

I used my anger to drive me. But seeing them was so damn much for me. I felt betrayed. Stabbed in the back.

I saw how many girls dropped their panties for Sebastian. Even though he said people hate him, that's not true. Out of the three of us. He was always the eye candy for girls.

Sure, Sage is the easy going on. Always winking and smirking. Me being me, always polite and quick to apologize for their behavior. But Sebastian, girls loved the bad boy image he possessed. They love his dark personality.

Even after he got with the girl, he dropped them the next morning if they're lucky, he usually dropped them the next three hours, they still loved him. The all think they are the girl that's gonna break the bad boy.

So when I saw him with my mom, I got scared that was the case. I didn't want my mom with my friend much less knowing what that friend is capable or incapable of.

"Wow." Sage whispered.

"Yeah that's it. It wasn't some sick game. We are friends. Or at least we were. Barbra doesn't have any friends. She doesn't have no one to talk to, so I was that for her. A person to listen when she needed an ear or even a shoulder to cry on. Her life is really hard."

I've never thought of that. Sure over the years I've realized how mom never had any friends over unless they were co-workers.

I never given that much thought because she never showed it.

My relationship with both mom and Sebastian would never be the same but today I was willing to try. I was willing to move past this.

I wasn't going to let that situation define me. Sure life isn't fair and people made mistakes.

I also thought it helped hearing that the time I caught them was the first time. The thing about the kiss was a bittersweet taste but I'll move past this.

I won't hold any grudge for mom.

With that knew found revelation, I walked back out the door.

I felt my shoulders lighter than they were the moment I heard Sebastian's voice.

I was ready to make peace with everything and move on.

I drove to my house. For a long time I sat in the car going over what I should say to her when she opens the door.

I knew she wasn't asleep because the kitchen light was still on.

First I should start by talking about my father, Jonathan Styles. Yeah I'll start by that.

When I asked her about him I was ready to go on a search to find him but when she told me afterwards, I couldn't.

I slowly walked up the pathway that lead to my front porch.

My hands were sweaty, I haven't talked to my mom in a long time. Ever since she told me who my father is, she never called after that. I don't blame her though. I was being selfish and unreasonable.

I rang the door bell and my nervousness caused me to knock too.