SAGE novel Chapter 30

Sage Miller

"I'm sorry for my attitude the past two days. My emotions were all over the place." Connor said as he sat my breakfast in front of me.

I sighed.

"It's okay. You're human and you're allowed to feel and be bitchy and sad once in a while." I told him.

I didn't know why he was acting the way he was but I was glad to see the Connor I liked back.

Today he was gentle maybe it's because he knew that today is dad's birthday and he knew this day could be hard on me. But this year it wasn't so hard.

"But still, I'm sorry."

After that we ate in silence. The sound of our forks colliding with the plates filled the silence.

"I talked to mom yesterday." Connor declared after some time.

My eyes snapped to his face but he wasn't looking at me. His head was casted down.

I was shocked, the last time they talked they weren't good. And I felt like this talk was different to how they're last one went.

That's good, right?

"Ummm.... yeah?" I said not really knowing what to say. I figured he needed someone to talk to.

I'm on a roll this week. First Sebastian now Connor.

Snap out of it dick and listen.

I mentally cussed myself for being so cocky and childish at a time like this.

"Yeah." He confirmed. "I guess I've been so caught up in my anger I forgot what's important. I was so selfish with everything. You know."

I nodded and didn't say a word. That's what he needed an ear to listen.

"I went to my house and we had a long talk. It really helped. I didn't take into consideration how much she sacrificed for me. She never really got a chance to be a teenage because of me. I should've given her a break. Everyone makes mistakes even though some are greater than other but we're all human. Mistakes are inevitable. Mon made me realise that what they did wasn't intentional and they didn't mean to hurt me by it."

When he didn't continue, I knew he was finished.

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked him.

"I guess I got closure and right now I want to move on. I've acknowledged that it will take time for our relationship to be they way it was but I'm willing to try. I forgave her. And about my father, I dont wanna know him. Im good." He explained so beautifully that I felt tears stinging in my eyes.

"Even if someone told you he knew who he is and where he Is?" I asked graphically.

"Yes. I know bringing him into my life will hurt mom. I don't need that. My mom sacrificed a lot when he left me before I was even born." He said.

Now do I tell him or do I keep quiet. I decided to keep quiet. He said he doesn't want to know him.

"I know how lucky I am to have a good relationship with my mom. Out of the trio I'm the lucky one to have a loving mom. You and Sebastian aren't so lucky." He continued and I noted how he included Sebastian in his group of friends.

"What about Sebastian?" I dared to ask.

He sighed.

"That's a difficult on but I am willing to try. I sort eavesdropped on you the other day when he explained on what happened between him and mom. I don't like what he did but I'm glad he didn't have any bad intention. I know our relationship will never be the same again. But I will try if he'll try too."

"He's been trying." I pointed out.

"I know." He mumbled. "He even bought me gummy bears. Twice."

"Yeah and he let you punch him so many times and didn't do anything to retaliate. I'm jealous you got to punch him." I admitted.

"I enjoyed that so much. Kicking his ass I mean. In any day he would've destroyed me. Guess I'm the lucky one. I got to punch him when you haven't." He said gloating.

"Oh shut up." I got up and cleared the table.

That's what we agreed on. Whenever he made breakfast or cooked in general. I cleaned up and did the dishes.

"Is it bad that I want him to buy me more gummy bears." He asked and I laughed.

"Yes. I can't believe you want him to continue to feed your addiction." I laughed some more.

"It's not like I can't afford to buy them myself and I'm not addicted." He said helping me dry the dishes.

"Of course you are." I argued.

"There's a difference between an addiction and enjoying. And I enjoy eating gummy bears."

"It's sad how much you try to justify your addiction." I told him.

"I'm not addicted." He groaned.

We did the dishes in total silence until Connor spoke again.

"Our friendship has changed. Looking back a year ago or even four months ago, it's not the same." I frowned a bit.

"How's so?" I asked even though I had an understanding of what he meant.

"Before I felt more like a tag along or lackey or lap dog... and before you say that not true. I know it was. But not anymore. I don't feel like that anymore. Now I can actually say were friends." He concluded and I only nodded.

"How did you know you were in love?" I knew the question was random but it has been bugging me for quite some time.

"What?" Eve said dumbfounded. I could tell the question caught her off guard.

"How did you know you were in love?" I asked again.

Eve looked at me confused.

"You're in love." She declared.

"What? No I'm not in love." I told her.

"So why ask me such question?" She question, her forehead creased.

"It's one of those random questions I have. I want to know." I told her.

Yes I want to know but it's not random.

"Okay." She said and I arched a brow at her.

"You know you're in love when the other person's happiness is your happiness. When their pain is your pain. When their happiness is above your own." She told me.

"That's it. That's the whole mystery of love. There's gotta be more than that." I said to her. There has to be.

"Not that's not it. There's so much more to love than that. It's like whenever you see that person, she takes your breath away while breathing you to life. It's as if you're starting to live for the first time. It's as if your whole life was just a blur, you've been living yet not alive. At that moment your life has meaning. All of a sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the ground. It's their existence keeping you from breaking. The thought of seeing that person again gives you purpose. You would do anything for that person. Be anything for them. But it's so easy mistaking love with obsession."

I felt myself taking in a sharp breath.

"Obsession?" I asked timidly.

"Yeah. You get so selfish about that person. You want them all to yourself regardless of the consequences or even their feelings. To you, your wants are all that matters. You're blinded to think your obsession is love." She finished and I buried myself deep in thought.

I am obsessed. I'm incapable of falling in love. But was Eve ever in love? She seemed to know more about love and obsession. Was she ever in love or was it all obsession.

"Were you in love?" I asked her.

"I still am." She whispered. I felt her voice croak but it might have been my mind telling me that.

It was around ten in the morning and my intention of coming here was very simple.

I wanted to maybe persuade her to go to the cemetery to visit dad together.