Shouldn't Have Kissed You novel Chapter 19

Maya walked out of the ER with a long face. It had happened again and she had no control of it. She did her best but why did it feel like her best wasn't good enough. It's like she hadn't even tried at all.

She walked to her office and took off her coat. She just had a feeling that his wife would be after her in no time. And just as she sat down, the door was knocked. She answered a come in as she watched the doorknob twist and in walked the familiar face.

She had promised to do her best to make sure that she saved the woman's husband. She had promised but death knows no promises. She inhaled as she drank in the woman's look today. She seemed tired. Her blond hair was in a messy ponytail and her dress, it's like she was in a hurry to make sure she was at the hospital.

Maya herself had been woken at 4:00am by a phone call telling her to get to the hospital as quickly as she could. So she had worn what she came a close and she never bothered about a bath. It could wait for all she cared at that time. She got to the hospital and rushed to her patient's room.

According to the doctor that was in a night shift, he complained of sever headaches before they gave him painkillers to make him calm down. At this time, she was confused. It had only been few weeks since she operated to the guy.

In fact, she had operated him the following day after her wedding and before she went on her supposed honeymoon, he was getting well. And when she came back? He was okay. He was even making his 'lame' jokes with her as she called them. They weren't lame. They were the best and she just said that to make their conversation longer.

And yesterday? He was okay. He even looked forward to going back to his family and she also wanted that for him. He was young. He had a life to leave. So, Maya did what she thought was the best thing at that moment. Took him to emergency room to start her operation.

She knew what she was doing was illegal but a human life is more than any legality in the world. His papers were signed since his family wasn't there but to her, it was to hell with it. She didn't give a shit at that moment.

And now, here she was. She tried but it's like wanted him more. But does it mean that when people die it's because God wanted them? She wanted answers from Him. Answers as to why He let an innocent man die in her hands when she asked Him to guide her hands.

Maya felt like she was being chocked as she asked the lady to seat down. Claudia obeyed as she watched her.

"What's going on doctor?" She asked as she kept her glance at Maya.

Maya felt like she was going to throw up any moment from then. Everything was bitter in her. This was third time that she lost her patient in an operating room. But this was different. It was different because she had become too attached.2

Too attached to save her own self from the pain. And her she was, the one breaking the news to his wife. How was she going to do that. She swallowed her bitter saliva.

"Claudia, you need to be strong," she began. She had to start from somewhere, right?

"Dr. Maya, I've been doing that since my dear husband had swelling in his head. I think I deserve more than that statement. I mean, I was called to come over and I couldn't make it on time. So please, for what is worth, tell me what's happening here."

Maya gathered up all the courage that she had left of her and broke the sad to news to Claudia. Claudia broke down but she didn't expect it to an extent of her to be needing doctors attention but it still got there.

The poor woman had passed for two good hours and when she got up,it was even worse. She was in denial of her husband's death. Maya couldn't stay with since she had to attend to other patients.

But with the way she looked, one of her collages asked her to take the day off. Maya thanked her and drove herself back home. As she drove she now understood why doctors never tried their family members. At first, she thought that it was just a stupid policy but now she understood everything.

Maya pulled in the parking lot and walked inside the house. It was silent and she was in a way happy. Her eyes were puffy and she didn't want Bernice or Alma see her like that. She walked to Chris' room and to her surprise he was still in bed.

Yes, it was his bedroom. There was nothing there to show otherwise. He clothes were still in her suitcase as if any moment she was ready to leave. And as for a bed, she shared none with him. Her place was on the cold floor.

To her, it would take forever to make that room hers. Not that she wanted to anyway. She was happy with the little she received. She had a roof over her head, a loving mother in law and the best chef she had ever had. Not even at her father's house. Then, what more could she want.

Chris didn't glance her way and it's not like she wanted him to. She walked to the bathroom and took her quick shower. Once changed in shorts, she pulled her hair in a messy bun and walked out of the washroom.

At first, she wanted to cuddle up in bed and let her frustration flow through her system. Now, she can't since Chris there and a hard floor wasn't what she needed at that time, so, without glancing his way, she walked out of the room and walked along the hallway.

Since she was wed, she had never taken a tour around the house and maybe, it was the best thing she could think of at that moment. To look around in order to forget. To forget about all the questions she had to the one who was up there.

Maya moved to the difference rooms that were on first floor. They all were guestrooms but with different interior design. She loved everyone of it and at the same time felt sorry for herself. Here she was, looking at different beds in each room that called onto her and yet she slept on a cold floor. How ironic?