Sinful Mates 1-3 novel Chapter 11

　　The next morning, I awoke inside my car. I do not remember climbing back in the car or the stray leaving. Maybe I was more intoxicated than I thought. The morning light was bright, forcing me to squint while my eyes adjusted to the brightness. Reaching for my phone, I peered at the screen. The battery was on three percent. The time was 7:30 am, I forgot to set my alarm. Luckily, my body clock didn’t fail me this morning. Getting out of the car, I breathed in the clear crisp morning air.

　　Closing my eyes, the last few day’s events came back to me like a bad dream. Only this time more painfully. I could still hear her last gasp. Feel the life leave her body as her hand went cold. Pushing the memory aside, I shook my head trying to remove the memory that was firmly imprinted in my head. Nothing about it felt real, like it happened to someone else. Only I could feel the pain of her loss, so I knew it was definitely my life that was falling in tatters. Now I was motherless as well as homeless and hopeless.

　　Two more years, I can do this. Just going to be two more years, then I can have my life back on track hopefully. Instead of dwelling on my shitty life, I got dressed. Tom doesn’t need to see me like this. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me even more than he does. I don’t want to break down, and seeing the pity in his eyes would definitely be the last straw. I already felt like I was failing at this so-called thing they call life. I didn’t want to see my failures confirmed in someone else’s eyes.

　　Getting undressed, I forgot about the cut from the wire fence. As soon as I ripped my singlet off, along came with it was the bloody gauze and the skin underneath. I had bleed through the gauze and onto my singlet, I must have bumped it in my drunken stupor getting in the car. Reaching inside my vehicle, I grabbed some more gauze and the bottle of vodka. Dousing the cloth, I quickly placed it over the wound. The profanities that left my lips when the cloth brushed my skin would have made a sailor disgusted. Cleaning it effectively and also nearly making myself throw up or pass out from the intense burn. I wasn’t sure which, but I would rather pass out right now.

　　Once the burning subsided, I redressed the wound and slipped on my navy skirt and blazer outfit I retrieved from the storage locker. The skirt nearly fell to my knees as soon as I did it up. Surely, I haven’t lost that much weight. I know I hardly eat but this was starting to get out of hand.

　　Reaching in, I grabbed my belt from yesterday and did it up, holding my skirt in place before chucking my blouse on and blazer over the top. Luckily, the blazer covers the belt that does not match my outfit at all. Deciding I looked decent enough, I won’t be able to remove my jacket today. Slipping my heels on, I quickly flipped the visor down and started doing my make up. I looked terrible. My face looked grey and drained of life. My eyes looked exhausted, puffy, and had no light left in them. By the time I was done, Tom was walking up the ramp towards me coffee in hand.

　　“Hey Tom,” I said with a wave.

　　Tom smiled upon seeing me. “Ready early dear, hair and all.”

　　I just nodded. Yes, it was a rarity that Tom didn’t see me in my car head glory. Tom walked me to the elevator like every morning. It was good listening to him tell me what Mary and himself got up to the night before. Made me forget about everything. When it came time to part ways, I was actually sad to see him turn and leave because I knew I was going to be left with my own torturous mind.

　　Once I made it to the office, I quickly turned everything on and started my work. Just before 9 am, I made the coffees for Theo and Tobias and had them waiting at my desk for when they entered. I busied myself with sending and replying to emails. When they stepped out of the elevator, they both stopped and stared. For a second, I wondered if I forgot something or that maybe something was on my face, until they continued walking towards me.