Sinful Mates 1-3 novel Chapter 46

　　“I die?” My voice was barely a whisper. I was horrified, so in order for them to make me like them they have to kill me first.

　　“We will make it quick” Make it quick who the fuck is he kidding, I am not willing to make that sacrifice. What if it doesn’t work then I’m just dead. Who in their right mind would agree to dying to be with someone?

　　“No” I said shoving him back and getting out.

　　“No? That’s your answer?” Tobias asked stepping out of the shower behind me and grabbing a towel.

　　“Exactly what I said No” I can’t believe how fucked up this is, either way I die. I don’t change I die; I change I die. I couldn’t believe they expect me to be okay with any of this. I don’t want to die especially at their hands.

　　“Either way the options are death, just choose the one where you get to come back Imogen be reasonable” Be reasonable, is this fucker for real. There is nothing reasonable about dying. Once you’re dead, your dead, their isn’t meant to be a way back from dead. If there was my mother would still be here.

　　I walked out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom before pulling on some clothes. The sun was starting to break through outside, the bedroom not even needing the light on to see anymore. Looks like no sleep for me now. I pulled on a sweater dress before walking downstairs. I could hear Tobias following me around silently.

　　Going to kitchen I flicked the kettle on before grabbing some mugs. I grabbed three out before Tobias spoke.

　　“Don’t bother making Theo one, I’m not sure when he will be back” I wondered where he went, to think he told me not to run from confrontation, yet he has left the place completely, hypocrite. I made my coffee before walking out the back. The sun has turned the sky orange and red as it the light moved between the mountains surrounding the place.

　　“You want to talk about it?”

　　“Nope I have given my answer Tobias we don’t need to talk about anything” I stated before walking over to mum’s rose bush. I see Tobias walk back inside before I sat down on the concrete path. What would mum think about all this? I wondered as I stared at the blooming bush. I know she would have told them to get fucked, probably even smacked them one. I smiled just thinking about it. She was a tough woman; she never would have allowed me to get into this mess I have found myself in. Would she be ashamed of the life I live now? I knew she wouldn’t be, but I still questioned myself. I laid down on the concrete looking up at the sky.

　　It was beautiful out here, quiet but l could also feel the loneliness of being here. Sometimes quiet can be too much, deafening even. Left to your own thoughts constantly could do some serious damage if you didn’t have the right mindset.

　　My mindset, the one that makes you question everything including yourself. Every decision you made, everything you have ever said, everything you have done. Yes, the mind can be a dangerous place to be trapped in. Is that why mum didn’t wake up? Was she just trapped in her own mind, lost not able to find the way back or was she gone already? They were some of the thoughts that used to play through my mind after the accident. I wasn’t enough for her to come back, for her to stay.

　　I sniffled, hot tears running down into my hairline. I closed my eyes.

　　“Tears won’t bring her back, tears won’t fix anything, they are weak, don’t let anyone see you’re weak” I mentally scold myself. My tears drying up as I become angered by own weakness. I stare up at the sky blankly clearing my mind of everything, just focusing on my own breathing. The air crisp I could smell the flowers, the roses. The air was that clear out here, no pollution. No hustle and bustle just tranquillity. I knew that tranquillity would eventually send me crazy, I was never one for quiet and calm. My thoughts out here were already becoming as destructive as my life. They were both going to send me insane.

　　I sat up, I needed to get out of here. I needed to find a way to get away from them. But could I really leave them? Could I walk away and not look back? What are my options though death or death, I had to try?

　　Getting up I walked inside. Tobias was in a blue suit. “Work?” he nodded his head. I walked over and did up his tie, maybe this was my chance. “What about Theo?”

　　“He is already there” I didn’t bother to ask how he knew that information. But I was glad he wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon.

　　“Can I come?” If I didn’t ask, he would know something was up, I knew the answer before I asked it.

　　“No Imogen, not today. Let Theo calm down, we will talk when we get home.”

　　I nodded, I watched as he grabbed his keys and kissed the top of my head.