Aliana knew that Iris would bring this topic, knowing how Ethan would often be seen with the luna. She also knew this was not the right way to handle this problem and she had turned down every Ethan’s attempt to talk to her and explain himself.
"What is it, Aliana? It’s not like you to act like this." Iris stretched out her hand and grabbed hers.
They were on the way to Red Claw pack, with the additional of warrior from Golden Light pack that was led by Vincent.
Cane and Jace had a talk with him and the gamma of the Golden Light pack agreed to pledge his loyalty to Cane, so did the remaining warriors there. It helped when they felt Cane was different. He actually helped the pack member and didn’t throw them into a slavery life.
In fact, their lives improved when Cane’s party came and more importantly, all the pack member seemingly started liking Iris because of her rare kindness.
More so, there was this grudge. Vincent held a grudge upon alpha Dex for abandoning their pack for the wealthy one and ignoring their cries for help.
The people from the Holy Kingdom came with them as well, but they brought up the rear while Cane and his people led the way, which meant there was a huge distance between them.
Rei didn’t make a fuss and he didn’t even try to look for Iris, but it didn’t mean Cane would put his guard down. As long as he was still in this continent, he was still a threat.
"I don’t know, luna. I don’t know whether I am mad or I am sad," Aliana said. They were inside the moving carriage and she was here to accompany her. There were only the two of them inside the carriage, which meant there was no escape for her.
Therefore, there was no harm to talk with her, since she already knew about the problem. Maybe she could offer her a better solution.
"What are you mad of, Aliana?" Iris looked at her, but she avoided her gaze. "I know, Ethan used to talk recklessly without even thinking twice, but you and I know for sure that he had no ill intention toward the people he cared. He loves you, Aliana. Even blind people could see that."
Iris then explained to Aliana about the reason why he didn’t want to have a child with her. Not because he didn’t want to, but he loved her so much, he didn’t want her to go through such pain. He didn’t even want to take the risk of losing Aliana during the childbirth, which could happen. He only wanted her.
"I know... I know."
Aliana kept mumbling the word, but she didn’t actually look at Iris in the eyes.
"I am sure if you talked to him and reassure him that everything will be alright, he will change his mind." Iris tugged her hand, so Aliana could look at her. "Cane rejected my pregnancy at the beginning, remember? Not because he hated the babies, but because he was scared of the unknown. He was scared of getting hurt again, or I am getting hurt.
If the problem is with the child, I think both of you can find a better solution to fix it. Instead of ignoring him, why don’t you talk to him about what you feel.
When Cane ignored for the whole week, it hurt me so much. I would rather have him angry and scream at me instead of hi silence."
Aliana listened to Iris. She gritted her teeth. Holding back her tears.
"Unless, the problem is not only with a child and you only used this excuse to get away from him. Now, tell me why you have been ignoring him, Aliana? Why are you sad?"
Aliana felt very miserable. "I don’t know. He loves me too much, I think I can’t match with his love."
"Loving someone shouldn’t always be equal, right? There was time when I love Cane less when he was being too cruel and calculative. There was also time when I love him so much until my heart ached missing him. There was time when we hurt each other. But, by the end of the day, he was the one that I want to be with for long time."
Aliana lowered her head.
Iris then let go of her hands and cupped her face so she could look at her. "Aliana, do you want to talk about your baby?" Ethan told her that the death of her babies had triggered something inside Aliana, but she couldn’t talk about it because Iris was the priority at that time, and now Iris wished she could help her the way she did to her.
"Years have passed. There is nothing to be talked about." Despite that was what she said, but her eyes started to moisten.
"There is no expiration date on grieving upon losing your child. Days, months, years and even decades can come and go, but your grief will always be there, because their nonexistence is a reminder that we lost them. We only dealt with it a little bit better, saying we are fine. Because some people thought time really could heal us and we will be fine. No. For some people, time couldn’t heal this kind of lost."
Aliana’s bottled up emotions started to crack, she covered her face with both of her palms, as she started to cry her heart out and Iris immediately hugged her, comforting her.
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