The Beta's Regret (Eden and Eros) novel Chapter 202

ROSE’s POV

I stood in front of Shevek's room door; the brown mahogany surface stared back at me.

I wasn't sure if he would like to see me, at the same time, I wanted to comfort him.

It took all the strength I had to finally knock on the door.

There was no response. But I knew Shevek was inside. That was the first place he went immediately Eden was laid on the bed to recover.

I knew he came here to reflect.

Today was about him sharing a part of his life with us. It couldn’t have been a simple task.

And then, there was Eden’s reaction to it. I was glad she was fine; my daughter is everything to me.

I knocked again. When I still didn't get a response, I tried the doorknob and found it unlocked, then I entered.

It was daylight outside, but his room was shrouded in darkness. The thick curtains that hang over the windows were not drawn open today.

I closed the door and allowed my eyes adjust to the room before I said a word.

“Shevek.” I called.

I could see his silhouette by the window. It was almost too dark to not mistake him for the curtains, but I saw him.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. His voice was rough and cutting. “I wanted to be by myself.”

“I know.” Tired of squinting in the dark, I said “Open the curtains, please.”

It took a while before Shevek moved and dragged a hand over the thick curtains. He drew it to the side, and light poured into the room through the floor to ceiling windows.

His back was turned to me, facing the window. I saw the slump in his shoulders and his crossed hands. He looked lost in my presence, even though I knew he was aware of every movement I made.

Before I could say another word, he placed his hands on the windows and pushed. To my surprise, it gave way to a balcony that overlooked the house grounds.

I never knew he had a balcony attached to his room. But then, what do I really know of Shevek aside from what he has allowed me to know in the past few days?

I followed him as he stepped onto the balcony.

"Rose,” he called softly. He didn’t look at me, but I could sense the sadness in his voice and with the way he carried himself.

I closed the space between us and placed my hand on my shoulders. I wanted him to face me and share his pain with me.

“Do you want me here?” I also needed to respect his wishes.

He took a pause before he gave a stiff nod. “Stay… I didn't think you would want to see me again after knowing the truth of what I did to my beloved and how my actions threatened Eden’s shot at happiness.”

His voice cracked. “Or are you here to blame me for everything that happened? If that is your intention, don't bother. I already know how much of a terrible person I am.”

My heart ached.

His beloved.

The thought of how he had to kill a woman he loved still plagued me, but looking at him, I knew it was something he would never forgive himself for. He was still haunted by it.

“I'm not here to blame you. I would never.” I started. “I admit you could have done things in a better way, but that doesn't mean that I do not see the man beneath all that rage.”

He turned to me, and I saw the depth of vulnerability he had masked earlier.

“You don't need to pretend to be kind, Rose. I know you are scared of me; neither do I deserve you to forgive me for keeping Lyraea a secret.”

I sighed. I removed my hands from his shoulder and stood beside him.