The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 172

“What the fuck?” I spin, yelling at her. “Is that how you justify it to yourself? That I just imagined it?” My pain can’t conceal itself. “Or was it that I asked for it, Mother? Like I seduced Ray?” I swipe the counter in my rage, sending crockery flying and smashing to the floor. Jake’s on his feet instantly and comes to me in two strides, pulling me to him as tears fill my eyes and he tries to reign me in a little. I push him away and turn on her again. Putting myself in front of him so I can face her.

“Why do you always do this?” I yell but she continues to sit with her eyes faced forward on the wall across from her, her expression blank as though her child is just having a tantrum. “You always make me feel this way! You always act this way whenever I try to broach this subject.” It’s all ripping loose from inside of me, teen Emma not caring if Jake sees her in all her ugly fury. Jake tries to haul me to him, to embrace me but I fight him off. I need to get this out. I need more of a reaction than this same bullshit, every time I find the courage to face her.

“This is why I left … Why I ran … This is why I don’t come back.” I cry in desperation, Jake stands behind me his hands on my upper arms, trying to support me, he stays silent but just feeling him close helps me find courage. “You can never admit what you let happen to me, can you? You can never acknowledge that I’m a fucking mess because of you … You’ve no idea the shit that goes on inside of my head every second of everyday, because of you!” I yell at her, the pain in my voice raw as the tears pour down my skin pathetically. I’ve never felt so close to hysteria in my life. She stays sitting and doesn’t move one single inch. Her focus intent on the wall. Jake’s grip has become reassuringly tight, his strength keeping me up. I’m the unraveling mess of a child who can never understand why her mother just didn’t love her enough. “Look at me!” I demand, but she doesn’t. She just picks up her mug and takes a long, slow drink until I almost break, the crumbling of resolve as tears begin to pour. “What did I do to ever deserve any of that? … Any of this? I was your only child, Mom … I was your baby. Why didn’t you protect me?” My voice is oozing absolute heartbreak. Jake’s arms come around me and this time I don’t fight him. He pulls me under his chin, turning me into his chest and holds me close, his heart beating a little more rapidly than normal. I dissolve. So much heart-wrenching pain and tears pouring out of me. Jake saw who I really was and yet he’s not letting me go, he’s holding me closer than before.

“Jocelyn, for the love of god … If you don’t acknowledge her and what she’s saying to you, I think I’ll be the one to fucking lose my shit in here.” His deep gravelly voice holds so much anger, yet it’s steady and strong. It snaps me out of my misery, and I turn my head to look at her. This makes her snap her attention to us, so good at always blocking me out yet add a dominant male with an edge to his tone and she’s all ears.

You’re pathetic.

“You believe the things she says about me?” she whimpers like a child, switching on doe eyes and blinking at him expertly. I have seen this face a million times. Her victim act and she is damned good at it. It wounds me to the core.

“Emma has never lied to me and I know she never will … I met Ray Vanquis … I beat the shit out of him, and I would do it to every guy you ever let touch her.” The malice in his voice wipes away her expression instantly. Gulping back unsurely, she slowly stands.

“I think you should both leave … I’ve nothing else to say.” Her expression may look unaffected but her voice wobbles, her hands tremble as she crosses them across her waist in such a PA Emma way.

“Emma deserves so much more of a mother than you,” he growls, his temper let loose, the vibration of rage rippling through his body. “Your daughter is scarred to hell because of the shit you let her endure, everything she became was a coping mechanism to blank it all out. You’ve no idea how far she’s come, what she’s gone through. Yet you stand here like she means nothing. That her pain means nothing. You make me fucking sick … As a mother … As a human being.” Jake wraps me in his arms more forcefully, trying to blot out the pain for me. “I made her come … This was a mistake. I see that now and it won’t be one I’ll be making again.” He snaps and finally pulls me with him toward the table. Lifting our coats but keeping one arm around me, he finally turns to her. My champion, with every word he’s pulling me back from desperation. “There is so much that she had to say to you, but I see now why she never could … I finally see why Emma spent her life so closed in and keeping people at arm’s length, even me. You taught her that she wasn’t worth anything, she wasn’t worthy of love, only being abused. You taught her that letting people get close at all only left her open to be hurt. That men would only hurt her and no one but her was going to protect her. When I marry her, I don’t want you there, you will just jade it.” He snarls and turns, pulling me with him toward the door without a backward glance.