The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 238

I catch sight of Daniel moving in from the side under cover of shadow and he slides into a seat beside Margo, throwing her a smile, and I suddenly feel sick and breathless. Daniel most definitely doesn’t show face at corporate things. He never has. He always says it’s not his thing and bores him to tears.

Warning bells are going off inside my head and that flight or fight impulse has my feet itching to head for the nearest exit. I tighten my grip on Jake’s arm for security and a sense of calm. My heart is pounding erratically through my chest, palms clammy, my body turning cold with fear. He covers my hand with his, a grounding sensation that I’m aching for, but I’m still in panic mode and can almost feel the tension radiating from him. That’s why his touch isn’t working right now because Jake’s more scared than I am and he’s transferring it rather than taking mine away. My strong calm and in control Carrero is now adjusting his collar as though it’s choking him and tilting his neck from side to side in a massive show of uncharacteristic nerves.

Fuck!

“Are you okay?” He looks completely terrified as his eyes meet mine. His beautiful gorgeous face looking about fifteen years old and completely out of his depths. I swallow hard, willing him to just stop, stop whatever his head has planned and whatever I think. The last thing I need is for him to look so goddamn out of his depth, making me feel like I’m suffocating.

Don’t hurt him, Emma. Don’t do this to him after everything. Just look at him and breathe. Steady breaths and remember how much you love him.

The fear gripping me holds at his eye contact and I find the inner courage to slowly slide it further down inside of me, gripping with fingernails to keep control. I hold still, trying not to portray my feelings on to my face, in case he sees it, and paste a smile on my mouth, loosening my death grip on his arm.

I can’t ruin this for him, I can’t hurt him again after everything We’ve been through. I just need to pretend I don’t know and pray I don’t freak when he finally gets on one knee.

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed with all this grandeur.” I smile, maintaining a steady voice with stoic effort and he relaxes a little. I draw on all my old PA Emma abilities to be emotionless, even in the face of extreme pressure. He’s studying me a little too closely, so I stretch up and kiss him quickly, making him kiss me properly and deeply, trying to remove any doubts about what I know. It seems to do the trick and he relaxes a little, all flickers of question smoothing from that beautiful brow and back to just a rather bad case of nerves. I squeeze his arm in a bid to calm him and really, to calm myself … a lot.

Count to ten, breathe. Focus on Jake, on just him and how much he loves you.

When we’re shown to our table Jake suddenly seems listless and his fidgeting demeanor hits full force, moving his glass from hand to hand and back to the table, avoiding eye contact when he has me seated beside him. He tenses and keeps looking out of the huge windows behind us as though checking for something. He picks up the drink they just laid beside him and downs it in one go, impulsively which is never a good sign or a good move on him. His hands raking through that immaculate hair, trying to sit still. He is all over the place and unraveling in front of me; this is not a version of him I have ever known. Jake is always so effortlessly in control publicly, so his behavior is making me even more uptight.

He smiles at me, but I know it’s pasted on and

in-genuine. His eyes flicker to the side until he spots something then excuses himself with a peck on my cheek

in a hurried fashion. I watch as he almost drags Daniel

out of his seat in passing and they disappear through a door near the side exit which takes you further into this grand hotel restaurant. Leaving me alone only makes me a hundred times worse.

My heart is pounding through my chest. The people around me are chatting and smiling my way, even Sylvana is trying to draw me into conversation, but my eyes are scouring the room for Sarah. She’s obviously been told to stay out of sight until the big moment. I have no idea what to do with myself. I can’t even voice my fear because I’m not supposed to know what this is. I can only sit here, curling up the napkin in front of me, counting as I breathe, trying to quell the panic that has every nerve ending on high alert. I don’t even know if I’m angry at this, at what he’s doing so publicly or if I want it this way and I’m just terrified. I have no clue how to feel or why I even feel this way. All the old inner Emma instincts are to run and hide but new Emma is holding me in my seat, all battling inside of my head with fears and reasoning, weighing up pros and cons, making my head ache.

Shit, crap, fuck. Breathe. Breathe. I can do this. I already said yes. I asked him! This is just Jake needing to do it his way and give me a ring. You love him. Let it go. Let him take control in this and trust him. Trust him, Emma. Trust that he’ll always make you happy.

I find Giovanni’s eyes on me across the table. He’s watching me with a slight smirking expression, those dark terrifying eyes unmoving as I meet his. He slowly lifts his tumbler of gin and raises it toward me, like a little toast, a hint of a smile on his face and then in an instant, it’s gone. He turns to his wife and places a kiss on her cheek leaving me completely dumbfounded.

What was that?