The Lycan King novel Chapter 17

Avalyn

I sat aside like a?useless pet?and had seen a lot of my loved ones die but not anymore.

I saw two big cars coming coming and after three more shots, it went dead silent. I still didn't move, I was not sure what happened. My heart was beating so fast that I could hear it. I tried to calm myself but it was of no use, I just wanted Master safe, I wanted him alive. Tears formed in my eyes at the thought of something happening to him, at the thought of never seeing him again. I brushed them away, not wanting them to blur my vision. This is not the time to cry!

I couldn't see anything from my position when I heard the car two cars start. I prepared myself to shoot again if anyone came near me but I saw Master walking down the road, towards me, without hiding from the car and I knew they were his men. Everything was done, he was safe. I quickly stood up from behind the car and ran towards Master and jumped on him, hugging him to me. He had caught me and now my legs were around his waist and his arms tight around me. I sobbed in his neck.

"Everything is fine now, my Love, you are safe." He whispered softly in my ear. I shook my head in his neck, he had got it all wrong!

"I thought that something would have happened to?you, I was?so?scared for you." I whispered.

I didn't care what happened to me, a little pain didn't bother me anymore, I am used to it. Sometimes I even welcome it, it meant I was still alive, I could feel things and I was not just a play thing meant for others to use. His told tightened at my confession.

"I'm so happy that you are alright." I told him as he set me down.

"Why did you get out of the car when I specifically told you not to?" He asked me softly but I could hear the anger hidden underneath it.

"There are two people there, they were trying to shoot you so I shot them. One is dead and the other is....mutilated." I said for a better word and then pointed towards the alley. Then the reality settled in that I hurt two people, I shot two people, I killed a person! I eyes watered again.

Master's eyes fogged over for a second before I saw men get down from the cars and go there, then his eyes were on me, he was looking at me in awe.

"You did an amazing job,?Moya Lyubov. I don't want you to feel bad for those people. In our world, its kill or get killed. So do not feel guilty for hurting him or killing them, because they don't give a second thought before doing the same to innocents." He said whispering the last part while caressing my hair. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, they were the?his?men. Nikolai didn't tell me but I just?knew. I wiped the remaining tears and nodded at Nikolai.

"Let's go home Ava." Nikolai said, opening my door for me. I got in and started putting everything back in the briefcase and put it in its place while Nikolai started the car.

There was one car in front of us and one car behind us as we drove home.

"I'm sorry that this spoiled our night." He sighed.

"It was still the one of the best nights I've ever had." I smiled at him.

"One of them? What are the others?" He asked smirking.

"The ones with you." I blushed and he chuckled.

How easily we went from serious to joking...

"I am still angry that you got out of the car." He said quietly, but the anger was present in his voice.

"I'm sorry." I said just as lowly. I disobeyed him, however justifiable the reason may be, I didn't do as he said and I deserved a punishment.

"I could have handled getting shot Ava, but what I can't bare is you getting hurt, even the thought pains me." He said, his eyes flickering to me.

I was disappointed in myself. I could have shot them from the car if I had used my mind and just rolled down the windows a bit, I risked my life and disobeyed him, worried him. I should have thought before acting on impulse and he would have liked it more. I deserved a punishment, I wanted, no, I?needed?a punishment.

He always wanted the best for me and I trusted him and his judgment but I still disappointed him. There were times when I wanted a punishment, to feel the burn for my transgressions so that I would do better next time. He was not like the Emilio?who would beat me raw and didn't stop even if I safe worded. Nikolai was my saviour and cared for me. I wanted him to care enough to help me correct my wrong-doings.

"Please punish me." I begged softly yet desperately, I really really wanted him to.

"We talked about having a normal relationship, I wont hurt you." He said, his hands clenching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white from the usual tanned colour.

"We talked about trying it and I don't like it Nikolai. You won't hurt me, I trust you, I want you to help me correct my transgressions, if it hurts me to do so, I can take it. I'm not a fragile little girl. That is what I need,?please." I begged again and a tear dropped down my cheek, followed by many more. He didn't look at me or reply to that.

How do I make him understand? It had been life since twelve years, I am too used to it, I find comfort in it, it was what kept me sane there. If I was not told what to do, if I wasn't used to doing what the Emilio told me to do, I knew I would have killed myself, just like Viktoria had. In a way, the he had kept me alive and because of him, I was here.

Viktoria was brought in my home when I was already a pet for Emilio. She was older and was Emmanuel's pet. She was so nice to me, she was like a mother to me and we were kept in the same room.

I still remember her parting words as if she had told it to me yesterday.

"I love you, sweet child, but I can't live like this anymore, I miss my son, I hoped I could escape and go back but I can't live like this anymore. I'm sorry for the pain I will cause you."?She whispered kissing my cheek.

"You can never cause me pain." My thirteen year old self smiled at her, not understanding what she was saying. She didn't reply and we both fell asleep on the ground, with me in her arms.

She had killed herself the next day by snatching a gun from a guard's holster but she did it when I was not with her, I knew she didn't want me to see her do it.

She was the second mother-figure that was taken away from me and I felt empty after that. The pain was what made me feel alive, it was what stopped me from becoming a hollow shell of a person. While the Emilio's punishments were for his enjoyment and I hated him, I know Master's punishment would be to help me become better and I loved him. I knew I did.

"We are here." I heard Master say, he had already opened my door for me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realise that we reached.

"I don't want to hurt you like that Ava." Nikolai whispered to me as I got off, closing the door behind me.

"Maybe, sometimes I like getting hurt, if becoming better comes with pain, then give me pain." I pleaded to him.