The Lycan King novel Chapter 19

Avalyn

I was coughing too much. The burning sensation in my lungs was dimming. Then suddenly I felt air fill my lungs and I woke up with a gasp. I saw Master's concerned looking face looming right above mine. He was drenched. He was the one who pulled me out of the water. Why did he save me? Did he really care?

"Are you okay?" He asked me in that soft voice of his.

No. He didn't care. He never cared to correct my bad behaviour but he was going to punish Natalia for something she did. He was not?my?Master. Was I not enough for him? Did he get bored with me? Was he with other women all this time he showered me with sweet words? All this time when he made me believe he liked me and wanted me as his luna? Especially when I was falling in love with him.

My heart could not bare more wounds. I was tired. I really really want to give up, to die.

Tears leaked through my eyes. He tried to wipe them but I pushed his hand away before he could touch me. I didn't want him to touch me anymore. I don't think I could bare his or anyone's touching me now. Whom to trust when the one who claims to be your soulmate betrays you?

But he never said that he wanted to mate me. He had implied it many times but never actually?told?me. He never said he wanted to mark me.

I never expected anything from Emilio so I was never disappointed or shocked by his cruelty. But I expected Nikolai to be so much more. He gave me?hope. He gave me a new life. If that isn't love then what is?

"Why did you pull me out?" I rasped out. My throat was scratchy. His eyes widened by a fraction but I caught that he was surprised.

"Why did you go in?" He asked me instead. His eyes seemed so gentle and caring. But it was all lies. I know it now.

"You said that I am a free person now and I can do whatever I want. And right now, I want you to leave me alone. I want to kill myself. I want to be with Papa. I want?peace?Nikolai." I said as more tears fell down my cheeks. I pursed my lips so I don't start crying.

His eyes darkened and his hand griped my wrist hard enough to bruise. I took it without flinching.

Try me, I've had worse!?I dared him with my eyes.

I looked dead in his eyes, as if I was not affected at all. "Let me go." I demanded.

"You are not going anywhere." He eyes flashed but he managed to keep his voice controlled. Good. I wanted him to be angry. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me.

"You are not my Master." I uttered the words that plunged a hole through my heart.

Hurting him is not what I want.

What do I want then?

I want my mate, my Master. I want him to love me. I want him to care. I also want him to punish me sometimes. I want things to go back to the way they were. And finally, I want peace.

"But I am a beast and I will lock this beauty in my castle forever if I have to." He gritted and pulled me up with a tug so we both were standing and then threw me over his shoulder. He started walking back towards the house but I didn't want to go back. I pounded on his back, willing him to let go.

"I am free, I can do whatever I want. I said let me go Nikolai!" I demanded, still pounding at his back.

The stinging pain on both my ass-cheeks made me realise that he spanked me. Twice and that too, hard. I gasped.

"You are not free, you are bound to me and I will never let you go. You wanted me to punish you right? Now you will get a real punishment." He growled angrily, as he walked up the trail to the house.

I went limp at that. I didn't want a punishment from him now, not after what I saw with Natalia, it didn't feel right anymore. I would have given up everything for this before but not now, not after seeing him with her.

He carried me in the house and I could feel everyone were staring at our wet forms, there were a lot of men in the living room than normal too and there were a lot of wolfs outside too. He carried me to his room and threw me on the bed and locked the door.

"Strip. Kneel." He ordered furiously.

"No." I told him, holding my ground.

I love him with all my heart. I know I do. But I couldn't submit to him like this, not forcefully. I did it because I loved him and not because I was scared of him. I would die before I submit myself to another man to whom I didn't want to.

"What did you just say?" He whispered, sounding shocked.

"I said no." I replied and walked in the washroom, closing the door behind me.

I was shivering and if he was not going to let me die, I could atleast get warm. I took off my clothes and started a hot shower. I heard the door open and I could feel Nikolai's gaze on me, I could feel him coming near me.

I turned towards him and shook my head firmly. He stilled and retracted his hand that was going towards his shirt buttons. He wanted us to shower together but that was not happening. I took my eyes off him and then eyed the door before looking at him again, silently asking him to leave. I wanted to be alone right now.

I was so hurt, furious and disappointed in him. He goes to someone else because he doesn't like me and when I'm finally leaving, he comes back to me. I didn't know how normal relationships worked exactly but I knew it was not like what he did to me. Was yesterday night a lie? Was everything he told me was a game to him? Did he even like me at all?

I saw him clench his fist but he walked out anyways.

I finished my shower and searched for dry clothes but I didn't find anything except a shirt of Nikolai's. I didn't want to be naked in front of him again so I wore it and walked out. He was sitting on the bed with his head in his hand. I ignored him and started going towards the door. I decided to sleep in guest room.