Their End, My Beginning novel Chapter 34

*Ryder’s POV

“What you forgive me?” I asked her again not believing what she just said.

She holds my face in both her hands. I close my eyes and lean into her hands relishing in the feeling that her touch gave me.

“Yes. I. Forgive. You.” She said with kisses on my eyelids after each word.

I didn’t open my eyes instead I closed them more tightly to hold my tears back. I was happy, overjoyed and relieved that she forgave me. So relieved that made me want to cry. She sensing my need to cry hugs me and I keep my head on her chest to which she didn’t have any complains and she pulled both of us back so that she was sitting with her back to the headboard and held me tightly with her face on my hair.

“I love you. So much. That it hurts to not forgive you. What you did was stupid but I can’t hold your past against you instead I can help you to overcome the guilt you have for what you have done.” She said without breaking the way we were sitting.

“I am sorry.” I said and felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Hey hey shhhh.” She said by rubbing my arms. God I am such a cry baby but I just couldn’t hold back my tears.

I haven’t even cried for my parents’ funeral which I never attended nor did I visit their graves. I think all that cold mask I have put up for 3 years is finally broken and that is taking a toll on me that all the sadness, anger for what I did is mixed together and coming out as tears.

She held me like that for a few minutes and when my back started to hurt and I started to shift she pulled us both down to lay on the bed with my face on her chest and I don’t know when we fell asleep but I was pretty exhausted after ‘the talk’ that I woke up at morning. I think she too must have been exhausted that when I woke up the roles were changed and she was on my chest while I had both my arms wrapped around her. I must admit that the talk was mentally exhausting.

And since it was a Saturday, it meant we can lay down little more as we didn’t have to go to office. I laid down without moving so that I wont wake her up. By now the fever I had was gone. I am only scared if she got my fever but was relieved when I touched her forehead to check the temperature and it was warm not hot.

After checking her temperature, I kept my arm back to its place that is around her waist, and looked at her sleeping peacefully. She was so beautiful. I am such one lucky man. I thank my stars for meeting her.

The first time I met her was at playground when she was 3 and I was 5. She was on ground crying and a boy was standing there laughing at her. From looking at the scene I understood that he pushed her off the slide and was mocking her. I had this sudden urge to protect her and defend her so I went and pushed the boy back with such a force that he fell on the ground and went to her to pick her up from the floor. While I was dusting off her dress the bully pushed me down and I felt very angry because the boy dared to pick a fight with me. I got off the ground to push him down and me on top of him and before I could punch him, I was pulled off by a pair of big arms. I turned my head to see that it was Mr. Marshal and he said the boy was not worth my anger which made me cool down. And I went to the crying Kat while Mr. Marshal went to the boy and advised him.