Touching the Heart of Ace novel Chapter 54

I was not happy; I was not at peace.

There was a time in my life when studying was the only thing I ever did, and the only thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

That was old me. And I was not even close to that person, now.

I could not sit still if the class extended for a bit more; I had this immense pleasure when a lecture got cancelled or Hell decided we had done good and could leave a little early.

My heart was not with me.

It was miles away; and the technology had not yet been developed enough for me to be at two places at once. And I wanted to be with my heart.

But for once in my life, I had someone to push me to study; who pointedly repeated that this was my dream and I had promised that I would give it everything I had.

Robbie.

Old me would have been so surprised; but I knew he valued my education. Even when we were not nurturing and treasuring a tiny precious human, Robbie never let anything hinder my studies not even himself. But still, for him, to remind me why I was here, sitting in front of a laptop for my heart to be online, was a big leap from his own old self.

Nothing was different yet not the same.

The college was the same, so was the faculty. I was still the youngest one among my peers. I still had to teach, dance and study. I did codes and projects. But...

Then again everyone had changed; the Little Angel who came in like a hurricane in my life, was twisting and turning everything on her way and making it all better.

One look from her gave me enough strength to walk through deserts, swim through oceans, and most difficult of all; sit here and study because when she grew up I wanted the moral right to tell her that, her education was too important to let a silly love to stand in her way.

This was me trying to be better; there was another part of me who was also trying his best to be better than he ever was.

Could anyone believe if I told that my mom, Jason, Frankie and even Uncle Fred had agreed with me to extend my break from studies because baby girl was too small and it was Robbie who dragged me to my Uni claiming this was what I had to do?

I attended the video call request in the first ring.

??Hi, Angel.??

??Hi.??

??Why so serious???

I sighed at the man who was trying to make me smile, but I could not squeeze one out. It was one of those days. I was finding it hard to bring up reasons to remind me why this was worth it.

??I am so proud of you.?? He stated, his hair wet from the shower, eyes tired and baggy, forehead a bit wrinkled with stress lines and I had never seen anyone more handsome than him. I missed him like crazy.

??What did I do??? If he was going to tell me he was proud of me because I was in Uni, I was going to hang up this call.

??You have the most marks this term, with a considerable gap than the second.??

??I do???

??Yeah, Dean sent your score card to your mom and she forwarded it to me. Please be so surprised when they call out your name.??

I shrugged. I had done good; I was expecting anywhere in the first three positions.

??Is she still there??? I refused to look at him in the face.

??Yes. Something about, Cali being so hot.??

Janice was there. She had done her hiding from the reality, again. But I had begged Robbie to let her in. Every time we visited the doctors they told us how important, the presence of a mother was for a growing baby girl.

If it grew my baby girl healthy, I was going to make Robbie agree to it. They needed to be the loving parents in front of Lia. Janice did not actively participate in her upbringing; but it was okay, Amelia just needed to know that she had a mother and she was there with her in her home.

Doctors were optimistic, some moms took a little more time to warm up to their kids. Especially during her teething, sick days, kids wanted their mom??s presence. I needed my mom when I was sick, even now. So, my baby also needed her mom.

??Did I lose you??? Robbie tapped the laptop screen.

I could not help my pout.

What was that sound? Was Robbie renovating? ??Is someone breaking down walls???

He laughed. ??It is our baby girl.??

??What is she doing??? I asked in horror. Where was she? Why was Robbie laughing? Was my baby okay?

??Uhh... Killing my suitcase? I don??t know!??

??What do you mean by you don??t know? Where is she!??

Robbie shifted the laptop screen sideways.

And the Little Horror was smacking Robbie??s suitcase with a... wooden spoon? She gave the poor thing a rapid three smacks before squatting down and examining her handiwork. Not satisfied yet; as she stood up and smacked it again a bit more forceful.

??Little Baby...?? I called her and she did not even mind my voice; so busy ??killing?? her daddy??s suitcase.

??Liaa...?? I knew she knew that it was me and she did hear the warning in my voice.

She looked at me fast before smacking it once more, then gave me her full attention.

??Baby, what will I say??? She frowned, looking so confused when I knew she was trying to throw me off the loop, looking like she was too young to understand what I was saying.

??Baby...?? I was not Robbie and she needed to come up with better tricks. ??What will I say???

I calmly waited and she knew this time I was not happy with what she was doing.

??Nooo... baee... nooo...?? She answered guiltily.

God! Her baby bird voice. I wanted to smile and cry at her and kiss her chubby cheeks.

Focus! Ace! Focus!

??That is right. I will say ??No, baby, no.???? She stared at me a few more moments, before raising her tiny arm with the wooden spoon to smack at it again.

??Babe...?? I warned and she popped the fingers of other hand in her mouth, a little defiance in her stance.

??Mm.?? I warningly gave a short hum, when she turned around to look at the suitcase. ??Drop it.?? I gave her the encouraging stare, ??droooop.?? I extended the word so she would catch the seriousness of it, when she raised it higher.

She waited a few more moments but then let that spoon go just like and it fell near her tiny feet.

I wanted to kiss her so bad, so precious and a tiny daredevil. She was making Robbie run for his money and we three knew it quite well.

She raised her arms to her daddy to pick her up; one with fingers still in her mouth.

Robbie picked her up, kissing her neck and climbed back to the bed. Robbie lied on his side and made a circle with his hand, so Lia could also lie down and stare at me through the monitor.

??Baby... Princess, I told you you can??t mess with daddy??s stuff. It is not a toy.?? I knew she did not understand why, but she knew I was not happy with it. So that was a win.

She had thousands of dollars?? worth of toys in her nursery, playroom, my bedroom, in Robbie??s bedroom and his office... she also had a baby drum set, which even had animal voices, but what was she playing with?

Her daddy??s travel suitcase and a wooden spoon.

Speaking of which... ??What was the suitcase doing there? Robbie, it takes literally takes less than a minute for you to take it to the closet.??

??Sorry...??

??No, you are not.??

??Look what you did.?? He booped his child??s nose. ??You made my Angel angry at me.??

Grrr... Was I raising two kids? ??What about the wooden spoon? It belongs in the kitchen... you know...??

??She cried for it when I served Baby Angel dinner. So... what was I supposed to do???

I sighed. Learn to say no.

God! I would have my work handed to me when I went back in a few weeks.

??Da!?? Lia shouted. That was how Lia played with her daddy??s heart. Add a cute little ??da?? at the end, Robbie would give her a nuke to blow up his butt. That man was a sucker and Lia used it to her advantage.

The first time it happened, he could not even speak but pepper her faces with millions of kisses. He ran around frantically to buy her gifts so bad, but I managed to control him, so he would not buy another tonne of toys she would throw away for a wooden spoon.

That was how she got a Princess Throne in her nursery. With her first ??da??.

??Yeah baby???

I shook my head at how emotional Robbie got hearing the ??da??. She gave three pats on his cheeks and ignored him in favour of staring at me.

??Dayee.?? She pointed her finger at me. ??DAYEE!?? She screamed.

??Yeah, sweetheart that is your Davey.??

She frowned and stretched her hand to me.

I wanted to leap across dimensions and kiss that tiny palm. How could she be so mine when she was not?

Did she know that, I was literally waiting this whole day for her call me Dayee?

Robbie smoothed down her hair and kissed her, though she was busy staring at me.

How fast did time go?

She learned to stand on her daddy??s chest, learned to walk on my stomach, now look at her already talking and demanding things.

I dreamt of her going to college, sitting next to me and studying, yesterday night.

Horrifying!

Which was why I did not want to be here. I was supposed to be on that bed, watching her play, hearing her call for us, doing everything a daredevil would do.

She smiled at me, like she knew what I was thinking about.

I puckered my lips and pressed to the monitor. ??Sleep well, Little Baby.?? I lied down also, still looking at my adorably blinking baby who was nuzzled safely in her daddy??s arms.

He started singing Beautiful Things by Bobby Darin and we listened to his amazingly beautiful voice. A demon with beautiful voice was a mystery, and my Robbie was anything less than a mystery.

You wonder why the nightingale sings

Lovers have wings, people wear rings

I noticed he was not wearing his ring; he used to, for occasions when his wife was pregnant but ever since our baby came into our life, I had never ever seen that plain golden band anywhere.

I thought he would for mom??s visit but he had not even bother for that too. I figured mom would ask him why, but she never did. Mom still hadn??t removed her wedding ring, and she wore dad??s ring in a neck chain. She never took it off though some of her stylists recommended it when she wore gowns and off-shoulder dresses.

Lia rolled to her side and squished her face into her daddy??s chest and his beautiful voice cracked a bit and gulped before he could sing again.

Life is full of beautiful things

Beautiful people, too

Beautiful people like you

She was fast asleep, her fist securely holding his T-shirt.

??I will never let you go, my Baby Angel. I will hide you from anything and anyone who comes for you.?? Robbie pressed a small kiss on her head and slowly rubbed her back.

We waited for another 45 minutes before he slowly pulled himself away from her, gently placing a baby seal for Lia to cuddle on. He cut off his main monitor and took his laptop before coming to the balcony.

Life is full of beautiful things

Beautiful people, too

Beautiful people like you

He sang again, looking at me and gave me a wink. He sighed, knowing what I was going to say.

??Why do I have to do this? Jason is not getting his M.B.A. Why should I do this???

??Jason will do his M.B.A. I promise. When you come home permanently, I am sending him off.??

??Really???

??Really, don??t tell him that. Madam and I are already planning on that.??

??It does not matter, this is stupid.?? She was growing up fast and I was here, looking at her through this stupid laptop.

??Baby... you know you want to do this. Remember the day you told me about your dreams???

I did. It was one of my favourite days in my life. Mom had banned me to go to this expo because it was too far and she could not take me there and I refused to bring a body guard.

Robbie had promised her that he could take me there and I remembered jumping on my heels begging for my mom to agree. I remembered hugging Robbie to death that day.

We make dreams come true, was the theme of the expo and he had casually asked what mine was.

Get my post-graduation as soon as I finish my graduation and then I would start my own company and surprise mom and Aunt Marie, then I would give free computer classes to adults with zero computer literacy and build smart classrooms for underprivileged students. It was a dream because it was before I had met Jason, before Robbie and I became a ??we??, before I was utterly lost in his attention and before... Lia became my whole dream and world.

Apparently I had asked him if he would help me build a company, because he was a successful business man and I was just ??me??. He had promised he would do whatever it takes, if I let him.

I remembered giggling and telling him if he let me make a choice, I would always run away. He would have to do chain me to chair and make me do it. Robbie might have taken my suggestion far too literally in different regions of our combined life.

Taking decisions and going after what I wanted was not what I did. I was so used to getting things without asking and when put on a spot, I would drop everything just like that. I never had a reason to chase anything, until of course, my baby girl came to my life. Now I was chasing for her time, her attention, her drooly kisses...

??Glad to know.?? That was all he had said at that time.

??My dreams changed.??

??No it hasn??t.??

??How do you know???

??Because I know you. You just pretend to behave like that is for the best, all the while hoping it is otherwise. The terrifying thing is you whole heartedly push yourself to believe that.??

Was I such an open book?

??To me you always are.?? I pouted and whined bad.

??But, Robbie, I want to be there with her?? with you... ??She is already growing up so fast and I feel like I am missing this whole...?? I waved my hands around like a buffoon to make him understand.

??Baby, I never said you don??t want that. But that is not your dream. Now we are working both of our as...?? He cleared his throat at my look. ??butts off for you to have that dream and... have our baby grow up with both of us.??

When he worded it like that, it was like his dream was our tiny family growing up together. Were there moments he forgot he was married to the woman who slept in the guest room?

One of the reasons I so badly wanted to be in Lia??s life now was because my time was running low, the moment she figures out I was just a... ??nobody?? then she would not call me ??Davey??.

??Hey, hey, hey... whatever you are thinking right now, stop it. Do you think I want you away from me? Do you think I am happy that I wake up every day without being able to see your feeding our girl? Do you really believe that, baby???

I sniffled.

??Sweetheart, it is only for some more time. Bear it with me. Please.??

??One whole year more.?? I mumbled out.

??No, a lot lesser than a year. Every other weekends you are here. Every project breaks, you will be here. Every holiday, every extra day you get by adorably blinking at the Dean, you are going to spend it with us, with her. Adding all up, it is just a few more months.??

It was not like he had not told me all this before. Every time he would say the same things a bit different way, making me believe it might not be that daunting.

??There are days I want to tell you to come back; there are days, I just want to literally take you with me.?? He never told me that. ??Then I think that this was one of the things you had ever asked me to do. Don??t think that I am okay with your not being here, where I could see you in flesh, touch you to my heart??s content. I am only... You don??t get to see you. You don??t know how you look so happy after learning a new thing, how ecstatic you get when you have this projects, presentations and whatnot. I do. I know you believe you are not happy to study but baby you don??t get to see your eyes like I do.??

I felt so bad. I knew how Robbie needed me, his ??emotion?? for me was so deep and I knew he might be missing me... my body at least.

??Do you think she will remember me when she grows up??? I wished I could take that question back. It was vulnerable and heart-breaking and... I wished Robbie did not hear that...

??No.??

I wished I could nod my head like I wanted to, I begged my head to move, but the pain was so hurting for me to move a muscle.

??For her to remember you, there should be a moment in her life without you. As long as I exist, whether it is here or in hell, I will make sure you two can never leave me or each other. So, no, Angel, she will never get a reason to ??remember?? you. Don??t make any mistake Angel, the only reason you are there, is because it makes you utterly happy. You are coming back; the moment you write the last of your exam.??

His eyes were unnervingly still and I knew he meant every word. And I prayed that he would never change his word. I wanted to go back there, to my baby, to Robbie, to my home.

My family.

I was hugging my knees and staring at his chest because I had these storms of emotions in my heart, with fear being the prominent one. I wanted him to tell me that he would take me back to his home and he would keep me there till the end of time.

??Please look at me.??

I hid my face between my knees.

??Kitten.?? Robbie called again and I peeked, behind the bangs that had fallen in front of my eyes. ??I miss you so much. Lia, more vocal than me. But this is the perfect time for you to get that certificate of P.G because baby, as she grows up it would be more difficult for her and you to cop up.??

??What about you??? Dammit! My whole mind and control was in frenzy. Why did I ask him that?

??I am used to missing you. And I know you will never get that far before I catch you.?? I blushed bright.

Robbie narrowed his eyes when he heard my bedroom door open and I wanted to stuck my tongue out. Did he forget about Jason?

Yeah, he wanted me to have a smooth transition back to college, so we were now sharing an apartment; Jason and I. I did not want to go through his travel charges, because it would be offensive. But Robbie was right, knowing I was sharing this apartment with Jason, though he would be absent for weeks sometimes, stops this loneliness creeping into me.

??Who was that???

??My boyfriend. I have told him that he can??t come after 9 p.m. but he is getting rebellious as days?? pass.??

Did he really believe that? Shoot! If this was the face he made hearing of my boyfriend, I would never dare to joke about that again. He looked demonic, a cold shiver of fear crept on my back for the life of my non-existent boyfriend.

??It is Jason, Robbie, who else would it be???

??Your boyfriend.?? He whispered.

I giggled at scary Robbie. ??Is this how you make people follow you? By growling???

??Works every time like a charm.?? He was still too serious.

??Come on, let us sleep.?? I persuaded and he put on the big monitor in the bedroom before closing his laptop and climbed to the bed. I frowned as he did not take Princess to her cradle.

I nodded to my baby and he shook his head ??no??.

Daddy and daughter were a serious threat to my tender heart.

They were close, real close.

For my birthday, I was planning to go alone as I always did to the cabin with my mom, we had discussed everything and Lia was giggling as I said good bye, and was really playful until she saw me climbing on a car and she stretched her and frowned when I did not pick her up.

She got confused as the car started to take off the driveway. Robbie walked back to the house and she started wailing, and I saw her trying to jump off his hands. When she screamed like her heart was breaking, I had asked to stop the car, and ran back to her taking her back to my arms.

She attaching herself to my body like a scared little monkey.

For the first time in our birthday history, I brought someone to our family cabin and my mom was never more ecstatic to see her attached to my chest, still refusing to let go.

Robbie had dropped us off without making a fuss until at night.

??Angel, opened the door.?? He whispered to his call.

??What???

??I am here, open the door. I cannot sleep.??

Should have expected that, but I was happy that he was here too.

??I am coming.??

He made a beeline to her cradle, staring at her making sure she was safe and poked her cheeks lovingly. It was so sweet and my heart soared.

??I missed you.?? He had cuddled to my chest, pouting and being so adorable.

??You cannot. We came here only today.??

He lowered me to floor and proved that he had missed me.

??I should go.?? He panted on top of me.

??Stay. I will wake you up early in the morning.??

??When did Robert come??? Mom did not look that much surprised, which surprised me, when we both woke up and late and joined her for breakfast.

??Yesterday night. Daddy could not sleep well without Princess by his side.??

Robbie left sooner after giving me a birthday present, so he would not hinder our family time.