Trouble in Paradise (Arianna and Nicholas) novel Chapter 539

I stayed silent, feeling dizzy the moment Nicholas held my hand. The words I didn't want to hear, the topics I tried to avoid, slipped so easily from his lips.

"Ariana, I truly didn't know you were carrying our child. I thought the baby was gone back in the hospital..."

His Adam's apple moved as he struggled to speak, his tone thick with emotion.

"Otherwise, even if I relapsed and felt like dying, I would have come and died right there at your and Tabitha's feet."

His hold was almost painful, cutting off the circulation in my hand. I knew the moment he let go, my entire arm would tingle with numbness.

Nicholas asked in a restrained tone, "Ariana, did you ever think of me over these years?"

It felt as if my body were being torn apart, the pain overwhelming and unbearable.

Yes, I had desperately thought of him on the delivery bed. When Tabitha and I were both on the brink, I wished with all my strength to see him just once more. The fear that I wouldn't make it overwhelmed me—I needed to see him one last time.

I had clung to life, hoping he would be outside the operating room. But when the doors finally opened, all I saw was emptiness.

After that, even if I thought of him, I mostly held back—or felt more hatred than anything else.

My voice sounded painfully hoarse. "Did you really not know?"

Nicholas gave a wry laugh and rolled up his sleeve, revealing scars upon scars. "If I had known, there wouldn't be so many cuts here."

He pulled his sleeve back down and chuckled bitterly.

"Maybe half of these wouldn't even be here. I could only hold myself together through these cuts. If I knew we still have a child, I might've.."

He cut himself off abruptly, catching my gaze and quickly explaining, "I'm not blaming you, Ariana. I pulled through, and now that both you and our child are here, I won't let myself think of dying again so easily."

His face turned pale and darkened in an instant, his voice weighed down with frustration.

"Ariana, what did I do that was so unforgivable? Even with Tabitha's situation, you still won't consider forgiving me? I'm trying to change. Can't you see that?"

"What did I see? You pulling and tugging with someone at the door just now?"

Nicholas paused, a hint of a smile forming on his face. "Didn't I send her away?"

With a gentle pull, he drew me into his embrace. "I only want to be close with you, Ariana. Just you."

He rested his head against my shoulder, his voice soft in my ear. "I'm not dirty, Ariana. Not at all. I've scrubbed myself clean, every inch of me."

My heart fluttered like I was swaying on a cloud. Fighting to keep my composure, I said, "Nicholas, don't say things like that."