Written In My Heart. novel Chapter 32

Sofia stood up as Ayaan entered the room with a file in his hand while looking through some papers.. He had gone to take permission for her discharge.. It was almost evening by the time she was ready to leave the hospital.. Nick had visited earlier in the morning and stayed for a few hours.. He insisted Ayaan to go home but he refused and rather fell a sleep on the couch in the room.. He woke up much later after Nick left and the doctor had come to check up on her.. After the final check up she was ready to leave and Ayaan went to complete the formalities and came back..

A: Come-on Let's go..

He says collecting her things from the table and began walking forward.. She tried to speak but he went ahead without even giving her a glance.. He had been behaving so since the morning.. After the doctor checked up on her he seemed worried while talking to the doctor but calmed down after their conversation.. But ever since he had completely ignored her.. He fed her and even gave medicine but didn't speak a word.. She couldn't bring herself to initiate either cause of what she had done..

She stood up from the bed quietly and was about to walk but her hands brushed on the glass as she felt her head spin.. She moved a few steps back losing her balance as she felt two arms around her shoulder stabling her.. She looked up to see Ayaan standing beside her.. He slowly guided her from the door and down to the car making her sit in.. The car ride was a quiet one as they reached home she climbed down the car and began to move towards her room.. Ayaan quietly followed her to the room and kept all the medicine on the side table.. Sofia sat on the bed staring at him as he arranged all her tablets according to time and placed the other belongings in their place.. 

He signed her to move back on the bed as she layed on it properly.. He covered her with the blanket and turned on both the lamps beside her bed thay gave more than enough light.. He closed the other lights and came to check the water in the jug and placing the glass close to her bed.. Finally after checking all the things around he turned to leave but Sofia held his hand.. He tried to shake it off but she held it tighter moving the blanket away and stood from the bed..

S: Ayaan.. Please listen to me..

A: Let go of my hand.

S: Look.. I'm sorry.. Just listen to me once..

A: Is there something left to listen.?

S: I'm sorry... I just..

A: Just what Sofia..?? You can't possibly explain what you just did.?? 

S: I..I.. I know.. I w..wa-

A: How Could you.??? How could you just do that.?? 

Turning around he asked in a hurtful tone.. Sofia lowered her head as tears welled up in her eyes.. Ayaan felt furious as he tried to calm himself..

A: Does all this really mean nothing to you..? All of us.?? Do you.... Do you even realise how I might have felt in that moment.. When i saw you lying in the pool of your own blood.. I couldn't even imagine such a thing..

He said as his voice got heavier.. tears slipped from his eyes as he wiped them immediately.. 

A: Why.?? Why did you do it.?? Did you trust none of us enough to tell us what you were going through.. Kiara she... She isn't even here.?? She knows nothing about this.. Can thou imagine how she'll feel when she finds out about all this..

S: N..No don't tell her.. I.. I didn't mean to hurt you guys.. 

A: But you did.. And you know what hurts more than that..? It feels like we failed.. we failed to take care of you.. to be there for you..

S: That's not true. 

A: Then how could you.?? Did you really not think even once before doing this..? You are important to all of us.. To me.. I can't lose you too.

He said holding her shoulders tightly as she stared in his eyes that reflected with unshed tears.. She felt breathless as her heart sank as she stared lost in his eyes.. It was like she could feel each and every emotion he felt.. Even his pain.. In an unexpected moment he moved forward enveloping her in a hug tightly.. He slowly rested his head on her shoulder as she did the same and slowly wrapped her arms around him too.. She felt him relax as he stood in the same position for minutes without speaking or moving.. It was like he was feeling her.. Making sure she was there and that it wasn't just dream.. Making sure that she was fine.. She could feel his tears falling on her shoulder.. 

After a while he calmed down and moved back.. He wiped his face with both his hands taking a deep breath.. he then held her shoulders making her sit on the bed.. He poured water in The glass drank himself and then poured one more for her passing it to her.. She drank it slowly still looking at him.. It seemed like he was the one who needed to calm down more than her.. She kept the glass aside and kept a hand on his shoulder.. He looked at her with an apologetic look..

A: I'm sorry.. I..I shouldn't have behaved that way.. I should understand you're situation..I didn't mean to.. It's just.. I was so upset and it all came out on you..

S: It's ok.. You didn't say anything wrong.. I know I shouldn't have done that.. 

A: Then why.?? Why did you do it.? 

S: Would you believe me if I say.. I don't know..

A: What.??

S: I don't exactly know why I did this.. I guess it was those nightmares.. Sometimes they were so intense that they almost felt real.. even when i woke up.. I felt like I was still trapped in it.. 

A: Yeah about these nightmares.. You said these stopped.. When did they start again..?

She lowered her head contemplating what to say.. He carefully observed her expressions..

A: Wait.. they did stop right..??

She shook her head in a no sign..

A: Sofia.??

S: I didn't want to bother you guys..

A: You're not a bother for us.. I've told you this so many times..

S: I know it's just.. You all were already so worried for me.. and kiara.. She got that offer and wasn't ready to leave me.. And I didn't want her to leave such an opportunity.. So I just said that I was ok.. And trust me.. They were getting better.. they had became so rare.. I thought they'll stop in a while.. But then suddenly they started getting worse.. 

A: But you should've just told me..

S: I know.. I thought so.. But I still didn't want to worry you all.. I'm sorry..

A: It's ok.. But.. Tell me one more thing.. Was this the first time.??

She looked at him startled by the question.. He gave her a stern look but she turned away.. 

A: You mean... And you still didn't tell me..

S: It was the same every time.. I didn't have any control over them.. Every time i woke up from them.. It was always so dark.. It was such a compelling feeling that I felt.. I never realised it until the last moment.. But this time.. I just didn't realise.. even after the end..

A: Sofia.. Did anyone ever give you any kind of medicine.??

S: What kind of medicine..?

A: Any new or different medicine.. Other than the usual ones..

S: No..  You're the one who brings all my medicine.. But Why.??

A: So did... Did you ever feel any kind of pinch or pain when you wake up.. anywhere like you're neck or arm..

S: Yeah.. quite a few times.. I think.. But how do you know.. And Why are you asking all this.??

A: When was the last time you felt it..??

S: Quite a few times in the month.. I'm not exactly sure maybe a week ago.. But why..?? What is it..?

A: Just like that..

S: Ayaan what is it..?? Are you hiding something from me..??

A: No.. why would I.? Why don't you rest for a while.. I'l come back later..

S: Ok... I guess.. See you..

A: Ok..