Beastly novel Chapter 48

We never had dinner that night.

My little adventurous decision left me almost guilt-ridden and dwelling in maximum shame. I was alone now, in bed, wearing the most random shirt I had ever seen. I had pulled it off the clothes hanger after drying my hair off and hopped into my bed. Closing my eyes for a split second, my mind played back the events of last night. He had kissed me. I had let him. One moment, we were making out passionately in front of the hospital and the next, we were walking back awkwardly to the house under the pouring rain. On my request. I had hoped the rain would cool us both down and by the time we would reach home, all traces of my arousal would be washed off.

I still remember the feeling of his fingers brushing against my skin as he peeled off my wet clothes. It was like we had both been on a high; one that drove me off the edge and had left me wanting for something I couldn't quite understand. Despite the heavy tension, Xander hadn't pushed for more and had let me go. I couldn't imagine if it was hard for him as it was for me. The only thing that had stopped me from going past the point of no-return was the flashes of horrible memories that were triggered.

As I got up, I allowed my senses to have full control and realised Xander wasn't in the house. It was a plus for me because that meant I would be able to steel my spine before facing him today. Hurriedly taking a shower, I got dressed in warmer clothes and went downstairs. Gladys was in the kitchen, as usual, making breakfast. She turned to give me the brightest smile she saw me and I couldn't even ignore the gleam she had in her eyes.

"Good morning Luna Ava." she chirped. Her usual behaviour would make me feel better, but all I wanted was to allow my emotions to roll over till they were purged out of my system.

"Good morning." I said, taking a seat at the counter. I placed my head into my hands as I listened to her move around. Today was a new day, I needed to go see Marcus in the hospital and possibly get Xander and Cole to have a conversation with him. I wouldn't be able to avoid Xander for long. I wasn't planning to either

I just needed time to accept what had happened and accept that I had indeed gone crazy at this point. This was the only solution to not letting myself give in to what I was feeling. Pretending it never happened was definitely out of the question.

"You wanna talk about it?" my head lifted to look at Gladys as she placed a plate of piping hot food in front of me

"Talk?" I asked, glancing at the food on the plate for a second

"You're not exactly in a good mood. You've been sighing so much since you sat there, I'm sure something is eating you up." she responded, leaning on the counter on the other side "Is this about the Alpha?"

My eyebrows rose in question and I averted my eyes, pulling the food closer to me "Why would you think so?"

"Well, for one, he was in the most wonderful mood this morning. I'd never seen him as happy as he was this morning and here you are, the complete opposite." I met her eyes again and found them watching me softly "You're the only one capable of making him that happy and I thought you'd be the same. I guess I was wrong."

Why wouldn't he be happy? After all my big talk of never giving in to him, I had practically offered myself to him on a silver platter. I shouldn't even be mad at him. He had asked me before doing anything and I had given him the green light.

"I doubt that. He has everything he could ever want. Maybe it was just a rare day for him." She hummed as I stuffed my face with macaroni and cheese

"If it's like that, then let's forget about him. Why are you upset?"

"I'm not upset."

"I don't know if you've noticed dear, but I've spent a long time on this earth and I can tell when a woman is having boy trouble." A giggle escaped my lips. Xander was definitely not a boy. What I had felt pressing into every part of me last night was definitely a man.