Cold Feet novel Chapter 35

RICK

I look at Viola on the other side of the room.

“What happened?” I ask.

“I can’t… we can’t do this. Please go,” she says. Then, as if realizing for the first time that she’s topless, she covers herself with her arm and moves back to the sofa where she snags her top off the floor and pulls it over her head. I watch her as she lifts her hands over her head to put her top on. The movement lifts her breasts and accentuates them and then she’s finished.

“Please go,” she says again.

Viola, c’mon. Let’s talk…”

“Get out!” she shouts.

I get up and make my way to the entrance hall. I open the door and let myself out. She follows me at a distance still covering her breasts even though she’s wearing her top again. I look back at her once I’m outside the apartment.

“Let’s just talk,” I say in a calm voice.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Viola says and closes the door in my face. I stand there for a few moments feeling anger and frustration. I want to kick the damn door down but I finally turn and head for the elevator lobby. I hope against hope that she’ll come running after me but when I step into the elevator and she doesn’t come running after me I know it’s not going to happen.

I exit the building downstairs and flag a cab. When it arrives, I give the driver my address and head home.

More than ever, I can’t get Viola out of my mind. I remember everything about our time in her apartment. What the hell happened, I wonder?

This time however she sends me a message after I’ve arrived home.

I’m sorry about this evening. I was wrong.

It’s okay, I reply.

I’m sorry. I can’t see you again.

Why?

I don’t need to explain. You’re in a committed relationship. I don’t get involved with people in committed relationships. I lost control tonight and I was wrong. I may not like Christine but I won’t break up even my worst enemy’s relationship.

Okay. But why can’t we see each other again?

You know why. Look what happened tonight.

We can behave, I argue.

And someone WILL get hurt, she replies. I’m guessing it will be me. I think it’s best if we don’t contact each other again.

That’s a bit drastic don’t you think?

No. Goodbye Rick. All the best with your wedding.

I dial Viola’s number but it just rings.

I send a message. Pick up the phone and talk to me. Please.

There’s no answer. Eventually I drop my phone on the sofa in frustration. I take a shower and get into bed. I think again of what we did and I feel guilt for Christine. It’s damn hard to put Viola out of mind now but I finally manage to do it and drift off to sleep.

The next morning, I wake up and the first thing on my mind is Viola. I get up and retrieve my phone from where I left it on the sofa. I check for messages from Viola but there aren’t any. I have to hand it to her. When her mind is made up, she sticks to her decision.

I feel guilty again when I think of Viola. I should be thinking of Christine. I didn’t even send her a good night message and the first thing I’m doing this morning is looking for messages from Viola.

I tell myself to forget about Viola. I know there’s simply nothing I can do about it. She’s made her decision.

I tell myself to put her out of my mind for once and for all.