Ditched Cheating Alpha, I Led My Daughter to Life's Peak novel Chapter 237

He lifts an eyebrow, keeping his eyes on the road.

"When I was talking to Aiden yesterday, I realized something." I adjust his jacket sleeves that keep falling over my hands. "This is kind of the end of something."

"What do you mean?" He furrows his brow.

I shrug. "I don't know."

"Could you..." He pauses. "Try to elaborate?"

"That's the issue, though. Like, I guess, I don't know how." Wow. My English is phenomenal today. "That's the thing. Things'll never be complete, you know?" I run my fingers along the seatbelt, staring ahead. "I thought everything would be perfect by now if I could just figure out a way to be with all of you. Then it turned into solving the pack problems. Then it turned into solving the Bloodmoon issue."

"But we've solved those things," he says. "Or we're solving them at least."

I shake my head. "No. At every turn, new issues pop up, or old ones pile on top of each other. Some come back. Some leave before they've been properly handled." I push the seat belt out and pull it back again. "It's a mess."

"The jacket?" he asks. "Just take it off if you want."

I shake my head. "It's not that. I like wearing your jacket." I love it actually. "It's just." It's not about the jacket. The jacket is about this, if that makes sense. "On top of all the stuff we're dealing with, you three have your own individual needs. Not problems," I say quickly. "But just stuff that has to be... handled."

"Like?" he asks.

I don't even know where to begin. Axel doesn't feel like I feel like he's enough. Carson wants to feel like an individual and not part of a matched set. Aiden needs to feel secure even when he pushes me away. One has problems with confidence. The other with neediness. The other with apprehensions.

I lean against the window, muttering to myself. They're so difficult. I can't help the smile on my face. "One of you likes physical contact. The other can't stand it. One of you wants to initiate stuff. The other only reciprocates." I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it. "One wants permission for everything. The other assumes unconditional consent."

"But you're handling it pretty well," Carson says.

I shake my head. That couldn't be further from the truth. "There are your friends. Your hobbies. Your likes. Your dislikes. Your sleeping habits. Your honesty levels. Your different senses of humor." I turn to him dramatically. "I swear, Aiden is amused by my misery." I try not to chuckle. "No matter how much I learn, it always feels like there's so much more to you guys." Like I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg. Like I haven't seen anything yet.

"I'm sorry, are you trying to break up with us?" Carson asks.

I furrow my brow. "What?" Where did that come from?