Her Return, His Regret novel Chapter 133

Lora froze, her hands which Ryan was holding trembling in his hold.

The restaurant was warm but the warmth did nothing to defrost the icy reality that had just been laid bare. A chill ran down her spine, making her blood run cold.

Was Ryan really dying?

She stared at him, her lips parting but no words came out of her mouth.

Her mind was spinning with several thoughts. A thousand emotions rushed into her at once- anger and devastation.

“Lora-”

“Ryan… how could you think like that?” She managed to whisper although her voice was shaking. “Why would you throw away your life like it was nothing?”

“Back then, my life was nothing without you in it,” Ryan admitted. “Everything felt meaningless. I was consumed by guilt and regret. I had to make it right somehow. Although my death couldn’t bring you back, I knew I would join you and make it up to you in the afterlife.”

“Make it up to me?” Lora repeated, her voice rising and raw with emotion. “Did you ever sit to think if I would have wanted you to do that? That was a selfish decision, Ryan. I never asked for your life. You did it for yourself, to make yourself feel better.”

Ryan looked at Lora and admitted, “Yes, my love. I was selfish. I was drowning in pain and didn’t think about the consequences. I didn’t know I had children then but I should have done everything in my power to get better for myself and those who love me. I shouldn't have given up on myself like that. Luckily, I found out you were alive and it gave me hope. I wanted to live again- with you and our children. I thought I could fix everything… that I could get better and grow old with you like I promised. Now…”

“Now what?” Lora questioned, pain flickering through her eyes. "Are you saying you won't be able to keep your promise?"

“There’s no future for us... I'll just drag you down,” Ryan responded in a low voice.

Lora’s tears flowed freely, her anger still bubbling up within her. “Why do you think you get to decide if we have a future or not? Ryan, I’m your wife, what makes you think you can shut me out and let me watch as you fade away?”

Ryan closed his eyes, the pain in his heart doubling with each second. He remarked, “I’m sorry, Lora. Nothing can be done about my situation… the donor is gone and without-”

“No, Ryan,” Lora stated, looking into his eyes. “I’m not giving up on you. There has to be another way… we can search for another donor. I’ll also get tested to see if I’m a match. You’re my husband and I’ll do all I can to make sure you get better. We can’t resign ourselves to fate.”

As she said this, she couldn’t help but recall how Ryan mostly looked exhausted. His pale skin, the bags under his eyes. How could she not notice that he was sick?

Was he going to undergo such a painful process alone and pretend like nothing was wrong?

Her stomach churned at the thought.