Life After the Storm novel Chapter 38

I am so frustrated with Ivan right now. I just want to smack him. He made me believe that Sam was in real danger. He could have told me that Sam was fine. I was so worried. That he was dying when in reality he is just fine damn it Ivan.

“Why wouldn't you tell me that it was a code that Sam was okay Ivan, damn it I was terrified.”

“Lilly, if I had told you, then you wouldn't have wanted to be with me. I needed to fully heal, and I knew that if I had told you the truth, that you wouldn't have let me fuck you.”

Hating him but listening to him talking about us fucking has my pussy getting wet for him again. God, I hate this fucking mate bond. It is too much to handle. God, I could take him again right here, right now, fuck. I focus on my anger instead of trying to control myself.

“Damn Ivan you can't just let me chose to be with you, instead you have to trick me to be,”

“Lilly, really, you wouldn't have touched me if you knew that Sam was fine, you would have let me suffer. I wanted my strength. I need to be able to protect myself. Just in case someone tries to attack me again. I need to be as strong as I possibly can be. “

“Ivan, maybe if you would have just told me the truth it's possible just maybe I would have helped you, but now we will just never know.”

“Lilly, you can say what you want. I know that you wouldn't help me. You should be happy Sam is fine, I need to call my mother, take me to a phone.”

As tears began to feel in my eyes, I am full of emotion. I hate how he makes me feel and there's nothing that I can do. Maybe he's right. If I knew the truth, I wouldn't have helped him, letting him suffer would have been better. Sometimes I just want someone else to feel my pain. I try so hard to put on a smile and go about like everything is fine. The truth is I am screaming inside.

I don't let my tears fall. “Get dressed Ivan, I will take you to Landon's to use his phone, the sooner you can leave the better.”

I try not to show any emotion, but I'm finding it harder. This life is hard to live. Knowing that there's no way of ending it. I turned away from him, not wanting to see him as he's getting dressed. He goes to touch my shoulder, but I shrug him off, not wanting him to touch me. I'm so tired I'm all his tricks. I'm sick of it.

“Follow me, I will take you to Landon's, so you can use the phone.”