Life After the Storm novel Chapter 6

Today is the day it's time to put my family 6 feet under the ground. As I get my black dress out of the bag, I hang it up. I look at it as tears start to feel my eyes. This is my funeral dress never thinking I would be wearing it to bury my family. I decide to get a shower I turn the water on letting it warm as I take my clothes off. I look into the mirror and the bruises from the accident where all fading like it never happened. I'm so angry I let out a scream of fury. I just drop to the floor and bring my knees to my chest trying to comfort myself as I cry.

I watch as the bathroom fills up with steam from the hot water in the shower. Forcing myself to get up and get in the shower, telling myself I stink I need to shower. As the hot water is burning my skin, I don't budge, wanting to feel anything but what I'm feeling right now. It almost feels like a relief to me, I can feel the burning is all over me. I just relax as I clean myself, getting angry that the water is turning cold. I shut it off and got out. I look in the mirror and see my skin looking red, not giving a shit that it stings. I go to grab my dress slipping over my body as I stare at myself in the mirror. I hate the way I look. I can't do this, I can't handle this, I don't want to. I shift into my wolf tearing the dress apart and taking off through the woods not stopping not being able to stop all my grief has taken over me, I can't come out from it, I'm stuck in this life I'm so unsure of everything, so I just run.

I feel so ashamed not going to the ceremony. I know people are going to talk, but I don't care. I was never much for funerals especially now it being my family I just can't. I can't bear to see them lying in a casket, I don't want that to be my last memory of them. I know that my family would expect me to move on and live the best life possible. I am just hoping in time I will be able to just live not wanting to die. If it wouldn't be for my family being so disappointed in me for killing myself, I probably would already have done so. I always ask myself why let me live and take them away. 

Is my purpose just a breeder for the Alpha is that why I lived. It's crazy that he will be the Alpha of the pack I've been in my entire life, I have never met him until that day. I guess he just became Alpha a couple of years ago when his father passed it over to him, but I still never met him. I know he has to be older, he didn't go to our school. So, why was he there if I never would have met him? My fate would have been the same as my families; he would have never cared to save me? I hate him for saving me and not letting me perish with the ones I have loved. 

I have been running for hours before I began to get so tired that my body just collapses. As I change back into my human and lay there naked, not caring if anyone sees me. It's so cold feeling the rain hitting my body. I look up at the trees to the stars. It's so beautiful. As I began to shiver and shake from the cold, I then snapped back to reality as all the peacefulness drained out of me.. I started to fall asleep hoping this time I wouldn't wake up. I don't get to sleep long until I feel someone shaking, asking me if I'm ok. I shrug them off me, not wanting them to touch me.

They backed away from me “I'm not going to hurt you I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

I don't respond, I just shift into my wolf and take off searching for somewhere else where I wouldn't be found, so I could have peace. I get to the top of Wicked Falls I shift back to my human walk up to the edge just wanting to jump I then hear a shuffle of sticks I look it's the man from before.