As I begin to wake up, not sure where I am at as I'm looking around, I then realize I'm in the cabin. I look down at myself, and I'm clean. Someone must have showered me and changed my clothes. What the fuck. Who the hell would do that, damn it, they would have touched me fuck. I'm embarrassed, not sure how to even act. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen to get a drink.
“How did you sleep, you have been out for a while?
I jump and scream not knowing anyone else was here “what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Oh, so you are able to speak by the way I'm Sam not sure if you remember, but I volunteered to be your friend.”
“Well, Sam please leave. I don't want any friends and did you change me.”
“I did not bathe and change you, that was the Alpha. He would not dear let anyone touch while you asleep.”
“Why can't you guys just let me alone.”
“Why don't you sit and relax, I will make you breakfast, I'm actually a pretty good cook.”
“Ok I'm starving, so I guess that would be fine as long as you don't talk to me, just let me alone.”
“I will keep quiet but if you change your mind here, I'm a great listener.”
I don't talk to him while he prepares my breakfast, I am starving from not eating for a couple of days. I think it's really nice of him to cook me breakfast, but I am afraid to feel anything for anybody. I can't get any attachments, I can't allow myself to be happy. I want to know how long I've been sleeping for, I am not really sure what day it is today. Wanting to know but not wanting to ask him, I just sit there. My thoughts become dark, if I am not able to kill myself I need to find an event that it would be most likely I would not survive. I can always live on the edge and just hope that something happens, and I don't survive. I can't help but to be in this dark place, I am not really sure how to get myself out of it. It's nice to know that there is one person in this pack that is actually friendly maybe when I am ready I will talk to him.
“Alright here is your breakfast, please don't judge too hard, but I know it's going to taste delicious though.” he smiles and hands it to me.
You can hear my stomach growling as he brings me a plate of food and I smile “thank you.”
He looks at me surprised not knowing if he should talk back, but he does “your welcome anytime I love to cook.”
“Well it's really good I was never the cook my mom would try to teach, but I just never interested in learning.”
“I could teach you if you would like.”
“Are you fucken kidding me if I didn't want to be taught by my mother why would you think I would want you to teach me anything.”?
“I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, I was just offering in case you changed your mind.”
I get up and storm to the bathroom. I am not mad at him just mad at myself for being such a bitch. Come Lilly you didn't need to be a bitch to him, he is just trying to be your friend. Star I don't want any friends right now, I just need to be alone. Lilly, we all need that one person who we can talk to. I can't Star I am broken just trying not to kill myself. Lilly having a friend may solve your problems just think about it. I know that she is right, but I'm too afraid to get close to anyone else.
“Look Sam I'm sorry I'm really not myself, so please just ignore me when that happens.”
“Look I understand I just know it sucks being alone. It is nice to have at least one person in your corner when you're ready to talk. I will listen.”
Now there you go Lilly that wasn't so hard now was it. You made your first friend. Star I am not going to be wanting to talk all the time like this. I do enjoy quiet if you would just give me some, please.
“Look Sam, I appreciate your sweetness, but please just give me space, don't suffocate.”
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