A Kiss At Midnight (Delilah and Caelum) novel Chapter 142

12:26 Mon, Sep 21 Mn.

AKI A Midnight

MAKING AMENDS

Mgaze drifted back to Landon but he wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was staring ahead at a group of students gathered around a table, and from where we sat, I could tell they were playing some kind of drinking game, laughing whenever someone took their turn.

But that wasn’t what had caught his attention

He was staring at the girl sitting in the middle of them, she barely seemed to be paying attention to the game and was only participating because everyone else was, but her movements were almost absent minded.

And she wore the same sad expression I had seen reflected on his own face all night. Something in my chest tightens

I used to think Landon and I had some kind of affection for each other, it hadn’t been love, not really. And. if I was being honest, I didn’t think he had ever truly loved me either. But now that I thought about it, maybe I knew why we’d held on so tightly to each other.

I had been lonely..fucking lonely, and insecure about myself in ways I hadn’t wanted anyone to see. As pathetic as I hated admitting it, I had wanted to feel loved, wanted. Wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere, with someone.

And for a while, I’d convinced myself that I could get all of that from Landon. It was crazy when I thought about it now, how I had been so helpless and insecure that I’d clung to him even after he’d made it clear he wanted out.

I’d refused to let go and been angry, hurt, desperate to understand why he could suddenly stop wanting me when I’d built so much of my sense of belonging around him. And maybe that was the real reason I’d been so fucking pissed at Sophie.

Not because she has stolen some great love from me, but because only a month after Landon and I had broken up, she has become the person beside him. The person he has chosen after me, and I hated her for it because, deep down, I’d been terrified that her place in his life proved what I’d spent so long refusing to admit.

That I hadn’t been enough to make him stay

My resolve about Sophie hadn’t changed though. That bitch was still as crazy as they came, and her obsession with Landon was honestly something else. But even as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I could see how much he truly mattered to her.

She would never intentionally do anything to hurt him directly, that much, I believed. But that didn’t make the way she acted around him healthy. The possessiveness, jealousy and the way she seemed to treat him like something she had to keep hold of.

I wasn’t even sure Landon realized how intense it could get but there was one thing I was certain about, the look in his eyes whenever he looked at Sophie. I’d seen it before, and it was different from what we’d had.

There was something genuine there

Maybe a part of me had once thought that whatever was happening between them would eventually fall apart after they’d gotten through whatever had brought them together in the first place. But sitting there

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now, watching him watch her, I knew I’d been wrong. There were real feelings involved

phie was completely oblivious to his stare, and I glanced at Landon again who hadn’t looked away once.

“You know you could actually go talk to her, right?” his eyes finally shifted toward me and I nodded toward Sophie, “Instead of sitting here watching her from across the field, you could walk over there and actually talk things out.”

The words had barely left my mouth before I realized what I’d just said and I frowned. Why the hell was l encouraging him to go after her?

I almost laughed at myself, apparently, tonight was full of surprises

Landon finally turns to look at me, letting out a long sigh, his shoulders dropping. “I don’t know how to fix this,” I frowned, “The wall between us just keeps getting bigger. We’ve been fighting so much lately, and every time I think we’re finally going to talk about it, something happens and we end up right back where we started.”

“You’re definitely not going to solve it by running away from it,@ he gave me a tired look, “and avoiding it isn’t going to make it disappear either.”

I glanced toward Sophie, “If you truly care about her, then you both need to figure out what’s actually causing that wall between you. Find the real problem before it festers into something bigger. Something neither of you can come back from.”

Landon’s gaze shifted toward Sophie again as he watches her for a few seconds before looking back at me, “Why are you telling me this?”

“What?”

“Why are you helping me figure out my relationship with Sophie?” he eyes narrows slightly, “I thought you didn’t like her.”

I shrugs, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Delilah.”

“You know perfectly well that Sophie and I..”

“Don’t,” I stopped as he shook his head, “Don’t bother pretending you’ve suddenly put everything between you and Sophie in the past,” my stomach tightened as he held my gaze, “I know you were the one who teamed up with Lindsey to sabotage my relationship with her.”

I wasn’t surprised. If anything, I’d been expecting him to figure it out eventually, “How did you know?”

He shrugs again. “I put two and two together.”

I studied him for a moment before asking the question that had been sitting at the back of my mind, “Why aren’t you mad at me for nearly ruining your relationship with Sophie. I mean, you have every reason to be.”

He sighs, looking down at his hand for a moment, “Maybe because I felt guilty toward you.”

“Why?” A frown hitched in my brow and he sighs again, rubbing the back of his neck.

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“Because I realized I hadn’t exactly been a good person to you. I understand why you were angry with me.” he continued, “And honestly, I’m sorry, Delilah.”

My expression softened slightly as he looks at me. “I also found out about what Sophie did in the hallway.”

“You knew?” My brows lifted.

“I found out a couple of days later,” he pauses, then his gaze drops again, “and I didn’t know how to apologize to you, so instead, I convinced myself you deserved it. It was easier than admitting I’d been wrong. But after actually thinking about it, I realized how fucked up that was. Especially toward you.”

He looks back at me, “You tried to act tough. You always do hit even when you were angry with me, and even if what you felt for me wasn’t really love, you still treated me better than I probably deserved. Youve been a good part of my life too.”

Something warm settled in my chest as he continues, “And that’s why I don’t want us to end on a bad

note.”

“You’ve changed,” I smiled softly and he raised an eyebrow.

“Have I?”

“Yeah,” nodding, “You’ve actually matured.”

A laugh escaped him, “I could say the same about you,” Landon’s head turned slightly to the side before he looked back at me. “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

“What do you mean?”

“Work things out with Hart,” my eyes widens, wondering how he had found out about Caelum and I.

“How the hell do you know about that?”

He gave me a knowing look. “Come on, Delilah,” he gestured vaguely between us, “You two are constantly looking at each other when the other isn’t paying attention. And I can practically feel his burning glare whenever he’s behind me.” Then he chuckles as he add, “I’ve also seen you two coming out of the janitor’s closet together once.”

My face went completely hot, “Oh my God.”

He laughs again, before his face turn serious again. “I don’t know why he’s here with someone else tonight instead of you, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He really, really likes you, Delilah. Maybe even loves you.”

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