422–My Struggles Are Still Not Over
Madeline:
“Take some water,” I said as I picked up the bottle from her seat and handed it to her. She accepted it with shaky hands.
“Thank you for tonight. I don’t know what would have happened if you had not arrived,” I added gently, resting my hands in my lap. “I know I am not in a position to advise you, but if nothing happened, it should not be discussed. You should not mention it to Baxter. There is no need. If he asks whether you were going to give yourself to them, do not say yes. They do not know. Nobody knows. Baxter should not know either.” Her words made sense, but I did not know if I could lie to Baxter if he asked me anything.
“Why did you shapeshift into me and say all those things about Baxter?” I asked, reminding her of what had come up in court.
I noticed her taking another sip of water to avoid looking at me.
“You won’t avoid this. I want your answer.” I placed my hand over the bottle and lowered it from her mouth. “I was just trying to create trouble,” she said.
I began to remember what Baxter had told me about that day. I remembered clearly when he said he had heard me talking about him with one of my friends, and when he stormed out, he bumped into Yuvonne. As that memory returned, I narrowed my eyes at her, and she understood something was wrong.
“It was not you,” I said.
Her eyes widened. “No, it was me,” she insisted with a weak smile.
“No, Yuvonne. You can shapeshift, but you cannot be in two places at once. So tell me again, what happened? Who was it? Was it your father or your mother?”
I was close to getting the answer. She sighed and dropped her hands onto the seat.
“It was my mother,” she admitted.
I shook my head in disbelief at the woman’s actions. “Why does she hate me so much?” I muttered.
“I don’t know, but I think it has something to do with your past, where you come from,” she said, making my eyebrows draw together again.
“What does that even mean? Does she know about my parents?” I asked. She only gave a small shrug, and it looked genuine.
“You have to believe me, Madeline. I have warned my mother that I need information about your parents. I will get it, and I will tell you. Please, just do not hurt me again. I am trying to change. I am trying to fix my mistakes.” She kept holding my hand, and I noticed how badly she was shaking.
“Why did you plan the attack on yourself?” I asked. I had many questions, and I could not stop until I asked them all. She did not hesitate to answer.
“To be honest, it was not meant to be an assault. I was going to say I had been mugged. It was all to show
422–My Struggles Are Still Not Over
+25 BONUS
my love for Baxter. But then they really hurt me. I guess it does not matter now, in the eyes of the world, I will always be the woman who seemed to enjoy something she later called abuse.”
She turned her face away, as if she had decided her trauma was her own fault.
“If there is anyone who has not even thought about redeeming themselves, it is Graham, Elgin, and their families,” I said.
I gathered my strength, bent down, and took her hand, which surprised her.
“I forgive you. You need to forgive yourself. What happened that day was not your fault. You made one mistake, but the outcome was not your fault. It was those rapists‘ fault,” I said.
I truly believed it. I was not just trying to comfort her. Whatever happened to her was wrong. The way Elgin, Graham, and their lawyer used it against her only showed that they were beyond redemption.
“You think so?” she asked, watching me with hopeless eyes.
“I know so. I know the world may take time to agree-
“1
As I continued speaking, she held my hand and stopped me. “I don’t care about the world. If you believe me, that is all that matters.”
She leaned forward and hugged me. It took me a moment, but then I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.
“Look, I will be worn out, that is certain, but for some time I will be under house arrest. It will start in a few days. I do not know exactly when, but everything will be fine. Please do not give in to anyone’s threats. You are special, Madeline. It is time you start standing up for yourself with the power you have, the power of knowledge, the power of being special,” she said. 2
She placed her hand over mine and slipped some money into it.
“No, I do not really need it,” I replied, but she closed my fingers around it.
“Everything will be fine,” she repeated.
We sat in silence until we reached the motel. She dropped me off and then drove away. She had also given me her sweater to wear so my body would be covered.
When I entered the room, I found Lord Jonah asleep on the couch, with the kids sleeping peacefully nearby.
I broke down in tears as soon as I reached the bathroom. I took a shower and then went to lie in the same bed as my children.
I knew that the next day we would be asked to return to the cabin at the top of the mountain. I did not understand how I could do that anymore.
I would be going back to the place that had almost taken my husband and had taken my daughter. I would be walking into all of that alone. I was deeply worried.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.

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