Building Her Throne Burying My Heart (Claire) novel Chapter 77

If I died, would you finally let it go? Would you forgive me then?

I could never say those words out loud. I was too afraid the answer would break me all over again.

Claire turned her head, saying nothing for a long time.

Garrison stood nearby, picking up on the tension between us. He jumped in, his voice uneasy.

“Claire, I’m not feeling well. Let’s go back to the room.”

But Claire didn’t move. She hadn’t answered me yet.

After another long pause, she finally looked at me. Her eyes were dark, impossible to read.

“Yes,” she said.

“That’s exactly what you asked. You didn’t even need to say it out loud.”

“If you’re asking, it means you already know the answer.”

She owned her answer completely, her words crisp and sure, no hesitation at all.

Hearing her say it made my place in her world painfully clear.

I met her gaze, but she looked away.

It hurt, but somehow, I accepted it.

I gave a crooked smile. “Yeah, I already knew. I just wanted to hear you say it out loud, see how it felt.”

“Now that I’ve heard it, I actually feel kind of okay. Like a weight’s been lifted.”

She glanced at me, disappointment flickering across her face. Then she turned back to Garrison.

“Don’t ask questions like that again. It just makes you look stupid.”

Her loud voice drew attention from everyone nearby. Claire heard, too. She paused for a second, listening, but she didn’t turn around.

It didn’t matter that she knew I was hurt. It didn’t move her at all.

If she hadn’t pushed me, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen and started bleeding again. But even knowing that, she didn’t look back. No apology. Nothing. She just left with Garrison.

I watched her disappear into the crowd, and for the first time, I felt like I could finally let go.

Maybe this is just how it’s going to be from now on.

The nurse came back with an orderly, and they wheeled me away for a checkup. After all the fuss, I made it back to my room, exhausted. I crashed and slept hard.

I don’t know how long I was out, but suddenly I felt someone come in. I woke with a start. Deanna was there again.

She looked at me, her face cold. “I brought you some medicine. Take it if you start feeling bad.”

I glanced at the bottle. It was for my stomach. I put it in the drawer beside my bed.