Chosen Just To Be Rejected by Jennifer Francis novel Chapter 102

102

Bella

She was exhausted and hadn’t slept well at all over the past two nights. She’d had terrible nightmares of

living a horrendous life of being sold, for the sole purpose of others using her body, to faceless Alphas, one after another in order to help them. They were uncaring of her and mated relentlessly until, in each of

the nightmares, she died alone and broken with no one caring about her.

She tossed and turned and struggled to fall asleep, woke up with her heart pounding and her body hot and filled with fear, covered in a full lather of sweat. Only to fall asleep once more and find herself right back in the same dream, or think she’d woken up from the nightmare, but was still actually asleep and lost to a

new nightmare within a nightmare.

Her only escape was death, which was what would wake her from the nightmare. Freya was still unrousable and not even Bella waking up terrified with a silent scream caught in her throat woke her.

She’d never felt fear before in any part of her life, and now it was there as a constant as her subconscious mind played out all the horrid things she’d read about in that book. It wasn’t even a reality for her, just a fear in her dreams, and this morning she’d yelled at Whit, really yelled at him.

For the first time ever, and he’d stood staring at her, he didn’t know how to handle it, and neither did she. Milly was crying as well. Her anger had been on the surface, and she’d lashed out because she was so very tired, exhausted. She’d apologised afterwards but he’d picked Milly up and left the house. Left, she thought, to protect not only himself but Milly too.

She didn’t know what was wrong with her, and the smallest of things that startled her, triggered an aggressive response. She was afraid of everything all of a sudden, and she now knew she should never have read that book, and wished that Freya would surface and stop her from feeling anything and everything once again. It was too much to deal with all at once.

Parker and Shannon were now there in the house, standing looking at her as she sat on the floor of the kitchen. She knew she looked terrible, she’d not even brushed her hair or even gotten dressed, was just sitting on the kitchen floor trying to cope with the guilt that she was feeling, over yelling at Whit and scaring Milly.

It was too much to handle, every little thing was like a floodgate that was being opened, and she didn’t know what to do about it. “I’m sorry.” She half whispered “I can’t… I don’t.” She looked from Parker to Shannon, and he as the Gamma stepped over to her and hunkered down and just let her latch onto him, this would be the third time he’d been in as many days now.

She did want his help, needed it, and she knew it. She was losing control, and today it seemed she couldn’t cope at all with being flooded by her emotions, first fear and then anger, followed by guilt and, on top of that, exhaustion. She was so very tired, but she couldn’t let herself sleep because then the nightmares would plague her.

She understood she actually needed sleep, desperately so, but she was too scared to go to sleep at the

same time. She was scared in her nightmares and scared out here in the real world. Fear overlaid everything in her life and she didn’t know how to deal with it, to reduce the fear and calm down. To let it go, something she had never fearned how to do, something most would do when growing up.

“She’s completely overwhelmed, Parker,” she heard Shannon state.

“I know,” Parker replied with a heavy sigh.

“She’s exhausted as well. I suggest we take her to the hospital and stop letting her try to deal with it her way, and get a sedative into her. Proper sleep is needed right now, Whit said she’s not sleeping much. Lucky if it’s one solid hour a night.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” Bella shook her head as she looked at Parker. “I have terrible nightmares.” She clutched at Shannon and looked from one to the other pleadingly as she shook her head no.

Parker hunkered down next to her and touched her face, and she looked at him, as she could feel that Gamma’s charm rolling over her much stronger now. “You need proper sleep Belladonna,” Parker stated softly. “Whit is worried about you, and Milly is scared right this minute as well… You screamed at them?”

“I didn’t mean to,” she murmured, and it wasn’t like her at all.

“I get that, but…”

“I won’t go to sleep.” She shook her head. “I die in there, I die every time… I won’t.”

Parker sighed and looked at Shannon. “I’ve got her,” Shannon stated, and then that southern accent rolled out of Shannon as he shushed her and told her everything was going to be alright. Then she felt it a moment later; sleep was tugging at her, and her fear of her nightmares shot through her, white–hot. She yanked herself from Shannon and shot to her feet, lashed out at them with all her Alpha strength and yelled ‘No.‘ and fled the house in an effort to stop herself from falling asleep.

She didn’t want to sleep and feel herself die once more. She could hear Parker calling out her name as she fled. She was going to keep running, because it would keep her awake. She tripped and fell and could barely get up because a part of her longed to just lay down and close her eyes, accept it, the death she

He couldn’t do anything or say anything, only try and reassure her that things would be alright, and he was doing that, but he also couldn’t feel what she was feeling. He knew she was overwhelmed. He told her that first day, she might struggle having to deal with emotions she’d never felt before, and he knew she was. Shannon hadn’t been wrong about that, but there was just nothing he could do for her.

“Your emotions are in overdrive, Belladonna,” he told her. “You’ve had none for 36 years and now you are beginning to feel them. Fear is overwhelming you because you’re facing the unknown right at this moment. On more than one level.”

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