Chapter 141
Cassian,
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It was like something had been snapped inside me. Walking across the desert, surrounded by sand and a cold breeze, I realized that I was clinging onto the hope of family. I considered Carolyn as my family, I considered Elle as family, and I was ready to do everything for them. But in that process, I lost my own soul.
The family complexity of my life had ruined the last trust I had in myself. I let myself become weaker and weaker, let others use my love for my family to betray me in the worst way possible.
“Your Majesty!” Lorenzo’s voice came at the back of my mind. “We have sent out soldiers to every territory. However, most of them are empty!”
“Don’t worry. I will find her myself. I have been trying to balance a stupid relationship with those people, neglecting my role, because I trusted them. I lowered myself to the worst. I controlled my urge to destroy everything.”
“Your Majesty!” Lorenzo whispered. “I am sorry!”
My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
A heavy silence fell as I inhaled the scent around the desert. Roana’s scent was faint but there. As if she had just gone through this path.
“There are hundreds of times when I made you weak by supporting them. I unintentionally manipulated you to stay loyal to Carolyn and Elle, stopping you from moving forward. It was me who stopped you from investigating the matter further because Carolyn said she didn’t want to relive the pain again and again. It’s my fault that I failed to understand the level of deception Carolyn spelled around us!” He became quiet again, and then his voice came softly.
“If Roana hadn’t come into your life, this kind of situation would have been happening constantly until they killed you!”
“It’s not your fault!” I said softly, staring at the distance. “From the beginning, I let myself be manipulated! I am weak. I realized that I am still the absolute excuse of a pathetic person.”
“No!” His voice came sharp. “Your Majesty… nobody knows how much you have suffered throughout your life. Everyone just knows that you were abandoned. Nobody knows how much your parents broke you to the core, that you are afraid of feeling abandoned and disappointing the people who are your family. It’s fine to be weak for once. Carolyn, Elle, they knew where your weaknesses were. They acted that way to make sure you became weaker, that you became their pawn. And… without knowing that, I have been encouraging you to choose them. I am really sorry. I should have been on your back.”
I didn’t reply. I walked toward the endless desert. Roana deserved someone who had his life together, who would prioritize her, choose her, and love her without any more strings.
I was ashamed of myself, for everything I had done to her. I used her, I hurt her, and now I abandoned her. She deserved better than this.
Cyrus didn’t talk after that moment, when Roana gave us a smile and disappeared from our sight.
He knew that I was pathetic. I could have used my brain, I could have made a very different choice. I could have done something more.
But… I failed her.
Just as I exhaled sharply, feeling absolutely like trash, a voice came through the mind-link.
“Where did you take my child?”
It was Elle.
My attention snapped back. The distance of the mind-link is limited. How did her mind-link connect to me?
My jaw clenched. “Because you don’t deserve the child!” My words were sharp, cold, and cruel.
“You have no right to say that. That’s my child!”
“I don’t care.” My eyes darkened as I arrived at the end of the sand, at the beginning of the northern forest woods.
“Give me my child back, you heartless monster. It’s my child. It’s mine!”
“Elle… I will make sure your dearest Marco feels the same pain you made me feel by choosing you. Because you, I abandoned her!”
“Because of me? Hello? Don’t dare to put the blame on me. You are just a pathetic bastard. You can never love anyone. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have chosen your territory over me and wouldn’t have chosen me over your own mate. You just can’t protect anyone. That’s why you keep being tricked, betrayed, and abandoned. You should just die. You should have died that day, Cassian. Your father was right. All you can do is cling to the people who show you love because you don’t have anyone to love. We never loved you. Carolyn didn’t like you. Not even my father!”
My eyes widened when she mentioned her father. “What are you talking about?”
“Hahaha! Cassian. Do you think my father is a kind person? Nah. All the people who work with you, all the time you take some action, everything has been observed by him. My father was the one who manipulated your family to abandon you, torture you, and break your trust in believing that you are strong enough to live on your own. He made sure one day you would oblige our demands. That’s why you can’t let us go. That’s why you have abandoned your own mate to please us.”
“Enough!” I snarled, my body shaking with rage and disbelief, “Don’t even dare to lie about your father. He is the one who helped me get the throne.”
A sharp mocking laughter came,
“How pathetic you are! Cassian. Gosh. I am glad that I didn’t stay with you. That day, I wasn’t kidnapped!”
My steps halted. “What do you mean?”
“I ran away from home because I wanted to be with Marco from the beginning. That was why Carolyn told me to collect flowers for the festival. We planned it to create a war. Because we thought you would do
Chapter 141
anything to bring me back.”
My stomach dropped. “So everything was a scheme from the beginning!”
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“Yes. You bastard. We have always been Southern citizens. My father is a former member of the former Alpha King of the Northern Region. He used the conflict between two packs to get close to your father. He was the one who suggested your father set a fire in your nanny’s room. He was the one who killed your best friend!”
I froze there, staring at the void while her words came like a stab to my heart.
“He killed Alessa and Flynn?” I whispered, my knees buckling.
“Hell yeah. So that he could use your vulnerability to get close to you, gain your absolute loyalty and trust. Making you as pathetic as possible, he did everything.”
I couldn’t move, my brain slowly shutting down. Cyrus roared as the memories of my childhood kept flashing in my mind.
Alessa was my nanny who raised me when my parents abandoned me. They refused to sabotage their eldest son’s future since I was stronger. She became the mother I never had. Flynn was her son. His father was a warrior who died when she was pregnant with Flynn.
We grew up together until I was twelve. One day, Alessa died out of nowhere. The house was on fire. It wa poison. Someone said she killed herself because of depression.
I didn’t believe it. Neither did Flynn. We wanted to investigate. That was when Carolyn’s dad, my dad’s beta, decided to help us. However, instead of getting any clues, around six months later, the only person who was too close to me died in the same way. Flynn, my first best friend died.
Lorenzo, who had been there for me, also tried to help, but at the end of the day, I sought comfort in Carolyn’s family again and again. Because they promised me that even if my family didn’t like me, they’d love me unconditionally.
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