Daddy Alpha I’m In Heat (Lily and Connor) novel Chapter 72

~Lily~

“Stay,” he said suddenly. “Stay and scream. Stay and cry. Stay and hate me. But stay?”

I laughed, even though I was sobbing.

“You want me to stay?” I shouted. “You want me to raise a baby in this mess? You want me to keep lying to Bella every time she looks at me like I’m the last person she can trust? You want me to pretend that everything you did doesn’t haunt me every time I close my eyes?”

He stepped forward, fast this time, and I backed up into the door.

“I want you because you’re mine,” he said. “Because no one will ever fuck you like I do. No one will ever love you the way I do. And no one–no one–will ever survive you the way I have.”

I looked up at him, and my heart broke all over again.

“Then let me go,” I whispered. “Because loving me doesn’t mean dragging me into

He opened his mouth.

But I didn’t let him speak.

“Don’t say another word,” I said. “Not unless it’s goodbye.”

Then I reached for the doorknob.

His hand slammed over mine.

“Don’t do this, please,” he said. He took another step toward me, slower this time, careful, like he was afraid one wrong move would send me running.

“Okay. Fine. We’ll leave. We’ll go to another state. Far away. Away from Bella. Away from my ex- wife. Away from everyone who knows us or knows what happened. I’ll give you peace. I’ll give you quiet. I’ll give you a drama–free life. You and me. You and the pup. Just us.”

I stared at him, really stared, because that was the most tempting thing he could have said, and he knew it.

And that scared me more than anything else.

I shook my head slowly, my hands lifting like I was physically pushing the image away. “You don’t get it,” I said, and my voice was already shaking again because everything inside me was too big to hold.

“You think changing locations fixes this. You think distance magically erases what happened. You think if you remove the people, the blood, the memories, then the weight disappears. It doesn’t. It just follows us. It follows me.”

He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I kept talking because if I stopped, I knew I would fold.

“I’m almost nineteen, Connor,” I said, the words tumbling out faster now because once I started, I couldn’t slow down. “I am young. I am so young. I barely know who I am yet, and suddenly my whole life is violence and secrets and guilt and grown–up consequences I never asked for. I am not built for this. I’m not strong like you. I don’t have years of scars and walls and coping mechanisms. I still cry when things get too loud. I still panic when everything feels out of control. And everything around you is always out of control.”

He frowned, shaking his head. “You’re stronger than you think.”

“No,” I said immediately, because that lie had already done enough damage. “I am not. And that’s okay. I shouldn’t have to be. I should be worried about school and friends and stupid mistakes and what I want to do with my life. I should not be standing in a house full of trauma trying to decide if running away with an older man is the only way I survive.”

His jaw tightened. “I’m not trying to trap you.”

“I know,” I said softly. “And that’s what makes this worse. You’re trying to save me in the only way you know how, and your version of saving still feels like drowning to me.”

He took a breath, dragging his hands through his hair. “I can protect you.”

“That’s the problem,” I said, tears spilling now whether I wanted them to or not. “I don’t want to be protected like this.”

I wiped my cheeks roughly. “All this drama is too much for me. It’s too fast. It’s too grown. I feel like I skipped ten years of my life overnight and I don’t recognize myself anymore. And I’m scared, Connor. I’m really scared.”

He looked at me like he wanted to argue, like he wanted to promise again, like he wanted to swear he could fix everything if I just gave him one more chance.

I didn’t let him.

“I don’t need a new state,” I said quietly. “I need space to be young. I need silence. I need a life where my heart isn’t constantly racing. I need to breathe without feeling like I’m betraying someone just by existing.”

I tightened my grip on the door, grounding myself. “You offering to run away with me doesn’t make this better. It just proves how deep we are in something that was never meant to be this heavy for someone my age.”

My voice softened at the end, because despite everything, I still cared. “Please don’t make this harder by promising me peace you can’t guarantee. I need to choose myself before I lose myself completely.”

I looked at him one last time, my chest aching, my heart exhausted.

“I’m young, Connor,” I said again, barely above a whisper. “And this is too much for me.”

“I don’t know where you wanna go,” he said slowly, like he wanted to hurt me just enough to make sure I remembered this moment forever, “but make sure I don’t find you fucking him.”

That was it.

That was the last straw.

I let out a laugh I didn’t even recognize. It wasn’t funny.

I turned around so fast my hair slapped across my wet cheek, and I didn’t even wipe it away. I just stared at him with everything inside me bubbling to the surface, too fast, too loud, too heavy to hold in anymore.

“You know what, Connor?” I said, and I felt the laugh still sitting in my throat like poison I hadn’t finished spitting out. “Fuck you. Fuck you for standing there with all your guilt and all your rage and making this about him. I am standing here in pieces. I am standing here pregnant, bleeding on the inside, soaking wet, falling apart in front of you, and all you care about is whether or not someone else is going to be inside me?”

My voice cracked, but I didn’t let myself stop. Not this time. He needed to hear everything.

“You don’t get to act like you own me after everything you’ve done. You don’t get to plant a child in me, break my heart, shatter every inch of my world, and then try to chain me with some jealous, territorial bullshit like your cum still gives you rights over my life. I am not your property. I am not your revenge story, I am not your possession. I am not some helpless little girl you can fuck into silence.”

I didn’t wait for him to answer. I didn’t give him a single second to twist my words or throw something cruel back at me just to feel like he was still in control.

I walked out.

And the rain hit me like a curse I deserved.

My arms were shaking. My legs felt heavy. My shoes were already drenched and slipping on the pavement, but I kept walking. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know what street I was on. I just knew I had to keep moving before I collapsed and let the storm take me.

And then she came.

My wolf.

Clovers

Where are we going? she asked, and she didn’t sound angry. She didn’t sound impatient. She just sounded tired, like she had been waiting inside me this whole time, curled up in the corner of my ribs, watching everything fall apart.

I didn’t answer right away because I couldn’t. My throat was tight. My fingers were curled into fists at my sides, and every part of me felt like it was shaking from the inside out. I kept walking, and I whispered my answer so softly I wasn’t sure if she would even hear it.

“Anywhere but here.”

Let’s go meet Alex, my wolf said quietly, almost hesitantly, like she wasn’t sure if I’d be okay hearing his name right now. Maybe we might feel better.

I stopped walking.

I didn’t mean to. My feet just froze. My whole body went still like something inside me snapped.

My mouth opened before I could even think about it, and my voice came out louder than I expected, bouncing off the empty, rain–soaked street.

“So I’ll get fucked?” I yelled, arms flinging out at my sides, eyes stinging from the mix of rain and rage. “That’s your brilliant plan now? Go get fucked by someone else to feel better? Nah. I’m good.

I’m fucking good.”

I turned in a circle, soaking wet and furious and laughing like I had finally lost it.

“Let’s just throw my pussy at another Alpha, huh?” I shouted into the storm. “Let’s just let him bend me over and distract me.”

I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against my face like maybe I could hide from myself for just one second. My breath came out shaky. My lips were trembling. My thighs were cold and wet and still sticky from earlier, and I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

“I’m not going to him,” I whispered finally, quieter now, speaking to my wolf, to myself, to the sky if it was listening. “Not like this. Not while I still smell like Connor. Not while I still hear his voice in my head every time I blink.”

“Come on, she purred inside my head. You know you’ve been thinking about him. His hands. His scent. The way he watches you like he already knows how you taste.

I flinched.

But she kept going.

Alex wouldn’t hurt you like Connor did, she whispered. He wouldn’t fuck you while the world burned and call it love. He’d take his time. He’d pin you down with those rough hands and ask if you wanted it while you were already moaning. He’d make you beg before he even kissed your neck.

“Stop,” I hissed out loud, squeezing my eyes shut as the rain poured harder, like the sky wanted to drown out her voice before I lost control.

Just one night with Alex, she said, like she was offering me peace and not damnation. Let him kiss your neck. Let him slide his hands up your thighs while you’re still wet and whining and pretending don’t youwant it.

“I’m not doing that,” I snapped out loud, yelling into the storm like the rain was going to argue back. “I’m not going to him, okay? I’m not some broken little bitch who runs to the next man just because my heart’s a wreck and my panties are confused.”

–And then she had the audacity – the actual audacity to say it again.

You’re still wet, she whispered in that voice that sounded like a smirk. And it’s not just the rain, baby.

“I swear to God, I will shift right here and rip you out of my chest myself,” I screamed, throwing my arms up like some girl in a Netflix meltdown, stomping in the middle of the road.

And then it happened.

The sound came first. I turned my head and – boom – light. Bright, white, blinding light from a motorbike that was speeding straight toward me like the universe decided, “You know what? Let’s end her tonight.”

My mouth opened.

My brain short–circuited.

My wolf screamed, MOVE.

And I did. I tried to. I swear I did. I moved, but my foot slipped because the fucking road was wet and my boots were cheap and I hadn’t eaten all day and I was shaking and mad and bleeding on the inside and horny on the outside and this was not supposed to be how I died.

But it was too late.

I couldn’t feel my fingers. I couldn’t breathe.

I blinked once, and the world looked sideways. The bike was somewhere. People were screaming. I wasn’t sure if it was in real life or just inside my head.

“I’m okay,” I tried to say, but my voice didn’t come out.

Everything was spinning. The clouds were too close. The rain felt like needles now. And my chest oh God my chest felt tight.

Lily, my wolf said again, softer now, more ‘scared than sexy, stay awake. Don’t you dare fall asleep.

And then everything went blank.