**Healing Slowly But Surely**
By R. Joseph
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Stupid as hell.
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Stupid as hell.
Leilani.
1
“Because I want you…”
Those four words hit me like a dagger, sharp and unforgiving. If I thought I had felt pain before, it was nothing compared to the wildfire of anguish now consuming my chest.
My eyes burned, stinging with unshed tears, but now they were no longer tears of sadness; they were filled with fury.
I spat out, “Kael… leave.” My voice emerged as a rough whisper, a chilling sound that echoed in the air between us. It felt detached, as if I were speaking from a great distance, and the raspiness of my throat made it sound like I was scraping against rough sandpaper.
Kael’s gaze met mine, and in that moment, the expression in his eyes took my breath away. It was a look that made my knees feel weak and my heart feel like it was being torn apart. He looked as if he were pleading with me, as if a thousand words were trapped behind his lips, yearning to be spoken but held back by some invisible force. I quickly averted my gaze, desperate to stop the traitorous flutter in my chest, but that was a futile endeavor.
When he dropped his head, letting out a heavy sigh, I felt an overwhelming urge to pull him into my arms, to comfort him for reasons I couldn’t quite understand. But I quickly suppressed that thought and hissed, “You should go.”
“I don’t want to,” he retorted, his tone firm yet laced with an undercurrent of desperation. I noticed how his eyes flicked from my car to my face, as if weighing his options. He drawled, “I really don’t want to.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Because I want to talk to you.” His voice edged with frustration, he continued, “I want to understand how I feel about you. I need to know why I feel this way.”
His words began to slur together, the emotion in his voice making it hard to decipher. I rolled my eyes, brushing past him to unlock my door, turning to face him when I sensed him trailing behind me.
“What?” I snapped, irritation bubbling to the surface. “Who said you could come in?”
“But I’m cold,” he argued, his voice softening, “…and I don’t feel well. But I want to talk to you.”
His attitude was starting to push my buttons, or maybe it was just my own emotions spiraling out of control.
My eyebrows shot up in disbelief as I shot him a glare. “You’ve talked to me.”
“Please…”
“No, Kael.”
“Please, I beg you,” he whispered, desperation coating his words.
My hand hovered over the doorknob for a moment as I weighed the implications of what he was asking. Just then, a gust of wind blew through, causing him to shiver as he wrapped his arms around himself. That sight tugged at my heartstrings, igniting a flicker of pity within me.
“Okay,” I finally relented, stepping into the house and leaving the door wide open.
Kael followed closely behind, his eyes widening with innocent curiosity as he took in the layout of my home. After a brief silence, he turned to me and smiled, whispering, “Your house is lovely.”
I didn’t respond; I let the compliment drift past me, unacknowledged.
Crossing my arms tightly over my chest, I decided it was time to address the elephant in the room. “What do you want from me?”
At that, his expression shifted, and he dropped his head. His voice dropped to a lower register as he confessed, “I don’t know how I feel, Leilani. I say I hate you. I say I can never forgive you for everything you did to my brothers and me… I thought I was in love with Chalice, but now… now, I can’t imagine a world without you in it…”
Hearing that left me reeling; I didn’t know how to process what he had just said. The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.
“Kael…”
“…I want you, despite your craziness, Leilani, despite how twisted you are; and you can call me a hypocrite, but I would do anything to keep you close.”
I felt as if the air had been knocked out of my lungs, a tight grip closing around my heart—not in a comforting way, but in a way that made me feel trapped.
Tears burned at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Not in front of him. My chest felt like it was caving in, and my knees trembled beneath me. But despite the turmoil within, I managed to hold his gaze and drawled, “You’re engaged to my sister.”
“I know,” he murmured, almost too quickly.
He slammed his lips against mine.
Heat surged through me, flames igniting on my lips as his mouth descended upon mine, engulfing me in a blaze of passion. But I didn’t yield. I fought against him, thrashing wildly, slapping at his chest, biting at his lips, but Kael was relentless.
His mouth consumed mine, a fierce kiss that felt punishing, his tongue invading my mouth despite my attempts to resist.
At one point, I bit him so hard that the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth, but that only seemed to fuel his desire.
With a ferocity that was both maddening and intoxicating, his hands tangled in my hair, tilting my head back as he claimed my mouth over and over in a kiss that was both possessive and wicked.
Then, just as suddenly as it began, he pulled away. His warm lips brushed against my cheeks, and in the next moment, he collapsed to the floor with a resounding thud.
My eyes widened in horror, panic surging through my veins.
“Kael?” I screamed, my heart racing, “Kael, what the hell? Open your eyes!” I yelled, but no matter how much I shouted or how hard I shook him, he lay still, unresponsive.
He looked… lifeless.
I froze, my heart pounding violently in my chest, and even in the cold air, beads of sweat broke out on my skin. Trembling, I placed my index finger under his nose to check for breath. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I felt the warmth of his breath against my skin.
And then it hit me…
This idiot had just fallen asleep right after kissing me.
He had fallen asleep on me.
And now, as if to mock me further, his soft snores filled the room, a ridiculous soundtrack to the chaos of emotions swirling within me.
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Your gift is the motivation for my creation. Give me more motivation!
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Ahvahh_
Creator’s Thoughts

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