But Helena knew Julian was deeply upset.
She was caught in an impossible tug-of-war.
It felt as if she had locked herself in a cage with no way out.
The crushing wave of anxiety swelled in her chest, suffocating her until she could barely breathe.
Unable to endure the overwhelming panic, she rushed to grab her Anxiety Medication and swallowed a pill.
But it only offered a temporary buffer; it didn't suppress the rising tide completely.
Trembling, she took another.
Only when the drugs finally kicked in did the frantic beating of her heart begin to slow.
She turned back to the kitchen and resumed making dinner.
By the time she finished and went out to get Skye, the little girl had already fallen asleep on the sofa.
Helena stood over her, looking down in silence.
Skye looked so peaceful in her sleep.
But the longer Helena stared, the more her heart fractured.
An indescribable agony weighed down on her chest, crushing her lungs and making every breath a battle.
It was pure, unfiltered heartbreak.
Heartbreak for the endless suffering Skye had to endure.
Every time a ray of hope appeared, they were violently shoved right back down into the abyss.
Helena could choose to walk away, and no one would ever blame her for it.
But she simply couldn't.
She would be trapped in this abyss of guilt for the rest of her life.
Yet, she also dreaded being hopelessly entangled with Sebastian.
The silence stretched around her, deafening and cold.
Even heavily medicated, the restless, agonizing indecision tore at her mind.
She let out a long, heavy sigh.
She waited until Skye groggily opened her eyes before gently coaxing her to eat.
Once again, she buried her devastation deep inside, putting on a brave face.
The next day.
Because Skye was still unwell, she stayed home.
Helena kept her home from preschool, refusing to leave her side.
By midnight, Skye's temperature crept up again, but it remained manageable.
Helena stayed awake, closely monitoring her condition.
Every single one was Sliced Fish Congee, yet none of them satisfied Skye.
Helena was at a total loss.
"It doesn't taste like the one from yesterday," Skye mumbled, shaking her head.
She refused to take another bite of the food in front of her.
But she couldn't afford to skip meals while sick; it would only make her weaker.
Helena was completely trapped.
Skye wasn't throwing a tantrum. She just silently refused to eat, silently confirming it wasn't right.
Compounded by her illness-induced lack of appetite, she looked frailer by the minute.
"Should I keep looking?" Helena coaxed gently.
"Okay," Skye whispered.
Then, the little girl immediately started dozing off again.
To an outsider, sleeping a lot while sick was perfectly normal.
But Helena knew her medical history. This constant, heavy lethargy was a major red flag.
It wasn't a good sign at all.
And that realization made Helena's anxiety spike all over again.

Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: He Never Loved Me Until the Day I Finally Left Him
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