I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 176

Chapter 176

Atlas’s POV

It had been a hell of a week.

Actually, scratch that.

It had been a hell of a three weeks, but this week in particular? Brutal.

42

65 vouchers

We’d blown three games in a row, and tonight made it the third loss this week alone. That wasn’t us. It just wasn’t. We were sloppy, distracted, off in ways that went deeper than bad passes and missed chances.

A lot had happened.

Grant broke his arm.

Jamal split with his girlfriend of seven years and had been walking around like a ghost ever since.

And Rhys…

Out of everybody, he’d had it the worst.

Ever since everything went down, I hadn’t really heard from him. I knew grief was a beast. It chewed you up, then sat there waiting for what was left. So I gave him space. Didn’t mean I wasn’t worried.

Then there was me.

The guy who couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Emery would be gone soon.

And when I said soon, I meant two days.

It was her last week of therapy. Her third and final one. And just like she’d said at dinner, she’d be leaving after that.

Leaving.

Gone,

The word sat in my chest like a threat.

No.

I didn’t want her gone.

I’d only just gotten her back. Just gotten used to her being here, her voice in my kitchen, her books in my living room, her scent drifting through my place, her laughter showing up when I needed it most.

And now I was supposed to lose her again?

10:40 Thu, Mar 26 M …

Chapter 176

The thought made my chest feel tight.

It kept me up at night.

It made it hard to focus.

Hell, it made breathing feel annoying.

:

The locker room after the game had been dead quiet. Not angry. Not loud. Just heavy.

That kind of silence hit different after a loss.

42

55 vouchers

Everyone moved slower. Talked less. The air felt thick with frustration and exhaustion. Sponsors were pissed, Coach was pissed, and even though he gave us a few words about sticking together and keeping our heads straight, he still told us to get our shit together and leave our emotions off the ice.

Easy to say.

Harder to do when life was eating half the team alive.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted.

Not just physically.

Mentally. Emotionally.

The kind of tired that sits behind your eyes and makes everything feel pointless:

I took a shower.

Thought about grabbing a drink.

Didn’t.

Instead, I sat on the couch in the living room, hoping a movie would help shut my brain off for a while.

It didn’t.

I still felt empty as hell.

“Okay, that’s enough moping.”

I looked up.

Emery stood in the doorway wearing one of those green face masks that made her look ridiculous and somehow still gorgeous. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun, a few strands falling loose around her face. She wore an oversized T-shirt and little shorts, bare legs out, looking like comfort and trouble in one package.

Even with green goop on her face, she looked stupidly pretty.

“You’ve been moping all week,” she said, walking into the room with her hands on her hips. “It’s time to

10:40 Thu, Mar 26 M …

Chapter 176

lighten up a little.”

:

I groaned and let my head fall back against the couch. “Not in the mood, Em.”

She ignored that completely.

42

55 vouchers

“Come on, Atlas.” Her mouth curved. “You know what? I know exactly what’ll make you feel better.”

You stay.

That was the answer.

Stay right here. Stay in this penthouse. Stay with me.

Instead, she turned toward the smart speaker.

“Hey, Karissa.”

The assistant lit up and answered.

I frowned. “Wait. You changed the name?”

Emery shrugged, completely unbothered. “It was boring. She needed something that felt more like her.”

A laugh escaped me before I could stop it.

Cute.

She glanced back at me like she knew she’d gotten one out of me, then called again, “Karissa, play Party All Night.”

“Em…” I started.

Too late.

Music exploded through the penthouse-loud, upbeat, all bass and energy.

She grinned like she’d just done something heroic. Then she started dancing. Or… attempting to.

“What are you doing?” I asked, even though the answer was obvious.

She rolled her shoulders to the beat, then pointed at me. “Dancing. Now get up and join me.”

I gave her a look. “No.”

She walked over anyway.

“Come on, Lawson,” she said, reaching for my hands. “Don’t be boring.”

“Emery.”

10:40 Thu, Mar 26 M …

Chapter 176

She grabbed both my hands and tugged.

Harder than I expected.

“Get up.”

I let out a breath and stood, mostly because fighting her felt more exhausting than giving in.

She smiled like she’d won a championship.

42

55 vouchers

At first, I just stood there while she moved around me, swaying to the beat with way too much confidence for someone who was not actually good at dancing.

“Come on,” she said. “I saw your shoulders move.”

I crossed my arms, trying not to smile. “That was a breathing adjustment.”

“Sure,” she said, deadpan.

Then she did some weird step with her leg and shoulders that looked like it belonged in a middle school talent show.

I stared at her. “What was that?”

She kept doing it. “What? I saw teenagers doing it online.”

I snorted. “Yeah, let’s keep that between us.”

She gasped. “Oh please. Like I’m not a better dancer than you.”

I lifted a brow. “Is that a challenge?”

She stepped closer, eyes sparkling. “Yeah, Lawson. Show me what you got.”

Then she pouted.

Actually pouted.

“Unless you’re not confident in yourself.”

I scoffed. “That’s low.”

But the beat was good.

And if I was being honest, the look on her face made it impossible not to play along.

So I moved.

A little at first. Shoulders. Arms. Enough to make a point.

Emery stared for half a second.

10:40 Thu, Mar 26 C

Chapter 176

Then she burst out laughing.

Not polite laughing either.

Real laughing. Tears-in-her-eyes laughing.

“Hey,” I said, offended.

She bent at the waist, laughing harder. “I’m sorry…” she wheezed. “I’m trying not to…”

“Don’t.”

She wiped under her eyes, still grinning. “You are a terrible dancer.”

I pointed at her. “Excuse me? You look like you’re fighting bees.”

That only made her laugh more.

She straightened up and shook her head. “Okay, fair. I’m not great either.”

“Not great?” I said. “That move you just did should be illegal.”

She snorted. “Guess we’re both terrible dancers, partner.”

I looked at her, then laughed too.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Guess we are.”

So we kept going.

And the thing was, neither of us got better.

If anything, we got worse.

42

55 vouchers

The music kept pounding, and we just leaned into it, bad steps, wrong rhythm, shoulders moving when they shouldn’t, laughing so hard we could barely stay on beat.

At one point she spun and nearly lost balance.

At another, I tried copying something she did and pulled a muscle in my dignity.

By the time the song ended, both of us were breathless.

Still laughing.

We dropped onto the couch beside each other, half out of breath, grinning like idiots.

“Okay,” she said between breaths, one hand pressed to her stomach, “now I get why dancing counts as exercise.”

I grinned, still leaning back into the couch, my chest rising and falling hard. “Yeah. I think I’m gonna need to

10:40 Thu, Mar 26 M …

Chapter 176

book a massage after this.”

She pointed at me, smiling. “Make it two.”

I turned my head and looked at her fully.

42

55 vouchers

The green face mask was still on, though it had started to crack a little around her cheeks from all the laughing. Her hair was still up in that messy bun, only messier now, strands falling loose around her face from our pathetic excuse for dancing. She sat beside me flushed and smiling, one leg tucked under her, looking soft and warm and so damn right in my space that it made something in my chest ache.

She turned too, resting her head back against the couch as she looked at me.

That small smile stayed on her mouth.

“I’m sorry about the games,” she said quietly. “I know how messed up it feels to lose.”

I smiled, but only because if I didn’t, I was pretty sure I’d say all this wrong.

If only she knew the games weren’t what had me feeling like this.

I mean, yeah, the losses sucked. The team was off. Everybody was carrying something heavy and it showed.

But that wasn’t the thing wrecking me.

The thing wrecking me was sitting right beside me in a face mask and oversized shirt, talking about leaving in two days like I was supposed to just accept it.

And honestly?

I was tired of keeping it all in my

head.

Tired of swallowing words just because they scared me.

I wanted to let it out.

No.

I needed to.

“I’m not sad about the game,” I said.

Her brows pulled together a little. “Oh.”

I looked down at my hands for a second, then back at her. “I mean, yeah, it sucks. But we’ve all been through a lot lately. The team’s been off, everybody’s dealing with their own stuff. We’ll get past it. We always do.”

She nodded slowly, then her voice softened.

“So what’s making you so sad?”

10:40 Thu, Mar 26 0 …

Chapter 176

:

I didn’t answer right away. I just looked at her. Then I said it.

“You.”

42

55 vouchers

AD

Comment