I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 58

Chapter 58

Chapter 58

Emery’s POV

Not to be dramatic, but I think it just grew.

Like… actually grew.

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Is that a thing?! Should I be worried or more turned on? Was it common? Was he a medical anomaly? Should I file a report?

Atlas came back to the bed in all his naked glory, moving with the kind of confidence that should be illegal. The condom was already in place, and he climbed over me, muscles flexing, his smirk doing horrible things to my ability to think.

“What’s in that mysterious mind of yours?” he asked, grinning like he already knew I was spiraling.

I didn’t mean to say it. I really didn’t.

But, as always, when I’m either very nervous or very turned on, my brain and mouth go through an ugly divorce.

“Is it… is it gonna get bigger?” I blurted out, eyes wide.

Atlas froze. “Is what gonna get bigger?”

I pointed with the subtle grace of a deranged flamingo. “Your junk.”

For a moment, silence.

Then, he broke. Atlas laughed. Not just a chuckle, but a full-blown belly laugh, his dimples popping out like they had no shame. His head fell to my shoulder as he wheezed, “Oh my God.”

I groaned, swatting his chest. “Stop laughing! You know I blurt out dumb things when I’m either nervous or extremely… uh… excited.”

He didn’t stop. In fact, he laughed harder, rolling to the side but pulling me with him so I was halfway on top of him, our bare skin brushing….unfairly distracting.

“Seriously,” I huffed, cheeks blazing. “The horniness messes with my brain chemistry. It’s a proven fact.”

“Oh yeah?” Atlas teased, brushing my hair out of my face, his eyes dancing. “Cited your sources on that one, Professor?”

“I am my source,” I snapped, then smacked my forehead. “God, please erase me from existence.”

He leaned in, laughter dying down as his thumb traced my jaw. His smile softened, eyes locking on mine. “You’re adorable when you’re flustered.”

“I’m gonna need you to stop using words like ‘adorable’ when I’m trying to seduce you.”

15:11 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 58

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His lips twitched. “I thought I was the one seducing you.”

“You were until I opened my mouth and ruined it.”

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Atlas rolled over again, pinning me gently beneath him, that mischievous look darkening just enough to make my breath hitch. “You didn’t ruin anything, Em.”

I swallowed. My fingers curled against his biceps, heart pounding again, but this time from something different, something deeper than embarrassment or nerves. He leaned down, his lips brushing mine. “You’re perfect. Ridiculously cute, completely unfiltered, and so damn sexy I can barely think straight.”

“Oh,” I breathed, toes curling.

“Oh,” he mimicked with a grin, kissing the tip of my nose. “And for the record?”

“What?”

“It doesn’t get bigger… but it definitely gets harder.”

I squeaked. Like, actually squeaked.

“Atlas!”

He just laughed again, catching my mouth in a deep kiss that made me forget all about junk sizes, bad timing, or my own mortification.

From hot kisses to touches to light moans… then loud ones and breathless gasps, everything felt like a beautiful blur. Atlas pulled away slightly, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, and his hair an absolute disaster thanks to my fingers that had been clutching him like he was air and I was drowning.

God. This man.

With his messy hair, parted lips, and that heavy-lidded gaze… I finally understood the hype. No wonder every girl on campus wanted to have him. Those eyes….they weren’t just pretty…they were potent. Dangerous.

He looked at me like I was the only thing in the world…must have looked at others like that, too. Not that I bothered, I mean, this is just sex, like every other casual hookups atlas had…there was nothing special…but what was this annoying feeling in my chest? I didn’t want to think about it…didn’t want to…

“Are you ready?” Atlas asked softly, breaking my thoughts, voice low and careful, his gaze locking with mine like he was searching my soul for doubt.

My heart was thudding against my chest like it wanted to run out and scream yes. I was nervous, of course I was, but I also wanted this.

With him.

“Yeah,” I whispered, nodding slowly. My fingers curled around the sheets.

Atlas gave me a soft smile, something gentle and steady. “I’m gonna go really slow,” he murmured, brushing a thumb along my cheek. “You tell me…even if it’s the slightest discomfort, okay?”

15:11 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 58

My throat tightened at how serious his voice sounded. I nodded again. “Yeah,” I breathed. “I will.”

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My pulse was everywhere, my wrists, my neck, my temples. I watched as he positioned himself to my core, and everything suddenly felt a little too real. His eyes didn’t leave mine. Not for a second. Not even when he leaned down and kissed my forehead, slow and grounding.

Then, slowly… so slowly, he moved.

A soft gasp escaped me when I felt his dick slide into me, carefully stretching me up…okay, not so bad. Just felt a little uncomfortable and pressure and…oh!. Atlas froze instantly, like he could feel every twitch of hesitation.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, brows slightly pinched in concern.

I nodded, forcing air into my lungs. “Yeah,” I exhaled. “Yeah… I’m okay.”

“Good…I’m gonna move now, okay?” His voice was soft, careful. All I could do was nod, my breath catching as anticipation clawed through me.

He moved, slow and deliberate, and a deep moan slipped from his lips as he leaned in, his head dropping to my neck. “You’re so…fucking…” he whispered, voice rough and ragged, “….tight, Emery. It’s driving me insane.”

A shaky breath escaped me. My hands flew up to his shoulders, fingers digging into the solid warmth of him as we found a rhythm, his body guiding mine, his breath hot against my skin. Okay this is good…like so good. How is this feeling so ugggh I have no words. I could barely correlate words let alone think straight. I was making weird sounds I didn’t even know I could make. His dick…ohh his dick, do I have any word for his dick? yeah I fucking do it’s big, strong, hard and fucking driving me over the moon.

“Ye…yes… shit just like that.” I moaned, louder now, unable to hold it in as the world faded and all that remained was this, him. Us. The heat. The closeness.

The sound of our naked skin moving filled the room, and I swear I saw stars behind my closed eyelids.

Atlas didn’t just know what he was doing…he was incredible. No, scratch that, not enough. He was ridiculously, unfairly good. My brain was fried. I was mentally writing a five-star Yelp review and screaming about it in my head.

“You’re doing so amazing…I love the feeling of being inside you,” he groaned again, his voice strained like he was holding back, not wanting to overwhelm me.

I could see it in the way his jaw tightened. The way his arms shook slightly. He was being gentle for me.

But every nerve in my body was screaming for more. For faster. For deeper. For anything that might help me hold onto this feeling just a second longer.

As our pace picked up, my moans grew louder. The faster we went, the louder I screamed. Ugh, I knew I was gonna regret the weird, shameless sounds slipping out. It’s wild to think that just a minute ago, I felt unsure… uncomfortable even, and I had honestly believed sex was just one of those overhyped things people liked to gossip about in locker rooms. But nope. I was wrong, I WAS SO WRONGGG,

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