Chapter 110
Jason’s POV
She wasn’t wrong. I needed heirs to properly secure my place as Alpha and stabilize the pack. As my soon to be official mate and Luna, Brittany was going to be the one to provide those heirs.
Yet, even thinking about it made my stomach violently churn.
I had to get over this reaction. If I was going to have heirs, they would have to be with Brittany. That meant, I had to be able to touch Brittany without revulsion. Not just touch her, have sex with her. Bring myself to completion inside of her.
She was a beautiful woman, with sexy body. Half the pack would kill to be where I was, with her throwing herself at them.
My wolf growled low as she approached me again. She wasn’t ours, but she had to be. At the mating ceremony, I would have to bite her to claim her as mine.
“Try,” she said. “Kiss me, and make love to me.
Yes. I had to do this. It didn’t matter how my body was rejecting this moment.
I grabbed her by the arms and brought her toward me. She grinned, her eyes alight with victory as I lowered my lips and claimed her mouth with my own. Her lips opened at once, and her tongue sprang out, slipping past my teeth and into my mouth.
I tensed, wanting to push her away, but I forced myself to stay.
This wasn’t working. My dick was thoroughly disinterested, and at the present rate, I didn’t see any means of changing that.
I had to do something though. What could I think of that would turn me on?
Laila.
Squeezing my eyes, I tried to imagine my former lover in my arms instead. The soft press of her lips, the way her body reacted, the sweet noises she made when I touched her in just the right ways.
Everything about Laila had been perfect.
For a few brief seconds, I could almost pretend…
My dick started to stir. Inside of me, my wolf chuffed with disapproval, but buried his head.
If I turned off my other sense. If I just…
“Oh, Jason…” Brittany moaned.
Everything stopped. Reality came crashing back.
This wasn’t Laila. Brittany couldn’t be further from Laila.
Still, knowing I had no choice, I continued to push myself, kissing her more fiercely to keep her from talking. If she didn’t make noises… If I could forget I was with Brittany, maybe this would work.
I ran my hands up the sides of her body. She grabbed my wrists and dragged my hands to her breasts.
They were too big, too weighty, so unlike Laila’s breasts, which had fit perfectly into my hands, perky and sensitive.
No. Pretend these are Laila’s breasts. That this is Laila’s body. That’s the only way this will work…
My dick did not cooperate, and my stomach twisted so fiercely that I knew I couldn’t keep trying or I would become physically ill.
My body stilled, and gently but firmly, I pushed Brittany away.
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Her lips remained puckered for a moment, like I was playing a game. But when I did not attempt to bring her close again, she opened her eyes. Confusion shone there for a moment, before hot anger sparked and consumed all else.
“What are you doing, Jason Kiss me.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t? Why not?”
“It just isn’t working. I’m sorry.”
“Not working? Well, make it work!” She looked down at herself. “You have to find me attractive! Look at me! I’m the hottest woman in the pack.”
That was a matter of opinion, but I knew it best to keep my mouth shut about it.
No one was more beautiful to me than Laila. Vanessa was very close.
But Brittany… no.
She must have been able to see that on my face. “Maybe you just need a better look,” she said, and reached around herself to undo her bra.
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“Don’t,” I told her. “It wouldn’t change anything.”
“What does that mean?” she snapped.
“I don’t want you,” I told her.
She raised her hand. I saw the slap coming. I could have stopped it with my Alpha speed, but I didn’t. I allowed her to strike. I even moved my head like she had delivered some hurt. It had only been a small sting that disappeared quickly.
I wanted to hurt. I wanted to feel literally anything other than the guilt of this moment.
Laila was gone. Staying loyal to her was only hurting my chances at saving my pack and myself.
But I couldn’t change that.
Brittany stormed around me and walked out of the room, slamming the door closed behind her.
I moved toward the edge of the bed and sat down.
Inside me, my wolf howled in morning.
If only Laila was still alive.
Laila’s POV
William remained persistent in his pursuit of me, even bringing it up during a lunch meal we were sharing in the hospital
cafeteria.
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