Ava’s POV
Mom seemed nervous to answer my question. I didn’t know why. It seemed like a simple enough question to ask. But then, Mom didn’t really talk to me too much about the guys that she liked. I only knew that sometimes Mern said she was engaged to Papa, but that it didn’t really mean anything.
At least, they’d been engaged for a while and nothing ever happened with it. They hadn’t even really acted like a couple up until now, never really holding hands or kissing like the couples do in the movies.
This kiss on the cheek was the first time I’d seem something like that happen between them. Of course, they could have been kissing and just hiding it from me. Adults were funny like that sometimes. But I still felt like I would have known if they were actually doing couple things.
Surely they would have slipped somewhere down the line and I would have caught them.
“I, well…” Mom struggled to find the right words. Finally, she gave a little huff of a breath and said at once, “I’m thinking of moving forward with my engagement to William.”
“Like, you are going to get married?” I asked.
“At some point, maybe,” Mom said. “But I’ve asked that we go slow for now. So it would likely still be a far ways off.” Mom worried her bottom lip with her teeth. She watched my face as she said, “Would you like that? To have Papa William as your step -dad?”
I considered this. Secretly, I would have preferred having Jason for my Daddy. Papa is nice and I like him, but he and Mom don’t stare at each other the same way that Mom and Jason do.
I couldn’t tell her that. Even though she and Jason do a lot of staring at each other, they also do a lot of loud talking too. Maybe Mom wouldn’t I really be happy with Jason, I didn’t know.
For Mom’s sake, I wanted to be okay with whoever she picked to marry. And she could do worse, I thought, than Papa William.
“I like William okay,” I said. “If you like him, I like him.”
That didn’t
to be enough to convince mom. She kept looking at me worriedly.
“I’m happy to finally have a dad,” I said, forcing a little smile. I was happy enough but I made my smile bigger so Mom would be sure to see it. “And I’d like for you to have someone to help you be less sad?”
Mom startled at that. “I’m not sad,” she said.
She didn’t know that I could see her crying sometimes, when she thought she was alone. I hadn’t meant to reveal that secret, and inwardly scolded myself. But it felt important that she know I was okay with Papa William marrying her, and all the reasons why.
“If Papa William makes you happy, then I’m happy too,” I said. This time the words seemed like enough.
Mom leaned in and hugged me, “Thank you, honey,” she said.
I hugged her back and then I yawned. I’d fought off sleep for a while, wanting to wait for Mom to come back to say goodnight. Now, I was tired again. I could barely keep my eyes open.
“You need some sleep,” Mom said.
“I’m okay,” I said, my words slurred.
Mom kissed me on the forehead. “Sleep,” she said. “I’ll stay here for the night.”
“Okay,” I said. I missed her when she was gone. I knew she had to do stuff, like work and go home, but I wished we could stay
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together all the time.
With another big yawn, Isnuggled down into the blankets. “Goodnight, Mommy”
“Goodnight, Ava,” Mom said.
Then I fell asleep.
Laila’s POV
I watched over Ava as she fell asleep. The poor girl must have been so tired. We had been talking and then quickly, from one blink to the next, she had been pulled into dreamland.
She was such a sweet little girl, the true perfect angel and a blessing from the Moon Goddess. As I thought of the things she had said, that she just wanted me to be happy, tears rose in my eyes. I tried to blink them back, but they were too powerful and spilled over the edge of my eyelids and down onto my cheeks.
Slowly, I wiped them away, not wanting Ava to see them if she were to wake up.
I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with William, even now, even after I had agreed to the trial period. But knowing that I had Ava’s support either way helped heal some anxious pieces inside of me, like smoothing over a prickled cactus in my chest.
No matter what happened, Ava and I would be there for one another, supporting and loving each other.
Which only made it all the more heartbreaking that she was having to suffer so very much with her illness. If only they could find a way to fully cure her. There had been talk of a surgery, but every time I spoke to the healers about it, they still weren’t sure.
I wanted her to be okay. I needed her to be.
If anything were to happen to her…
She was wrong in thinking that William would make me happy. I would only be happy again if my little girl was there to see
every smile. Without her, I didn’t know how I would go on, even with William to support me.
I close
my and prayed for her good health.
Then, I took my usual spot in a nearby chair to give vigil through the night. Sleep would eventually find me too, but not easily. I would keep waking up, keep needing to check on my little girl to make sure she was alright.
Someday, I hoped, in the future, we wouldn’t need to sleep in hospitals anymore. My little girl would be safe and happy, and maybe by then, I would have made up my mind about William or anyone else, giving Ava the father she deserved.
Finally, somewhere between 9 and 10 o’clock, I fell asleep. I roused at exactly 11:20 pm, with my phone ringing.
Ava was blinking awake at the same time, and I cursed myself for not setting the phone to silent to keep from disrupting her sleep.
Lifting my phone, I read the screen.
The call was from the office. It was Claire.
I looked at Ava.
“Is it work?” she asked.
I nodded.
She nodded too. “Work is important, Mommy.”
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