Chapter 97
“It’s really important,” I said “If you’d only allow me to see him, you would understand.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I have strict orders not to allow anyone inside. Even you.”
“This isn’t a social call,” I persisted. “I have a very real reason for being here.”
“Which is?”
“I can only talk to Jason about it.”
Marcus shook his head. “Alpha Jason has more than enough on his plate right now. I assure you that whatever you want to talk to him about is not as important as what he is dealing with right now.”
I frowned. “Is he in some kind of trouble?”
Marcus shook his head. “I can’t tell you anything. Please just respect this request for distance.”
When he put it that way, I couldn’t exactly deny him, even though I really wanted to.
“Perhaps I could leave a message?” I asked, though… what I had to say, I didn’t want to leave in writing. I wanted to be the one to tell him, to smooth any ruffled edges at once if I saw them with explanations and words.
“No, never mind,” I said, before Marcus could reply. “I will try again later. If you could tell him that I came, and that I was hoping to speak with him…”
“I will,” Marcus promised.
For now, that would have to be enough. Whatever trouble he was facing, I hoped he was okay.
Jason’s POV
As if things weren’t bad enough as I tried and failed to handle my grief, now the weight of pack duties were pushing me down.
I was a capable Alpha, a good leader. Even in the depths of my sorrow, I would still lead this pack strong and true, as my father
would have done before me.
When Marcus told me Vanessa had come by to see me, I assured him he did the right thing in sending her away. I cared about her, true, but I was slightly embarrassed by the weakness I had shown in front of her. Weakness that, unfortunately, she hadn’t been the only one to perceive.
I could avoid Vanessa, but I couldn’t avoid my enemies, like the Alpha Dustin of the pack to the north, who was sending his warriors to the border like a test of my courage.
That move was an act of aggression and our packs now hung on the edge of war.
My council was split on what our response should be. Should we stand against the enemy, and send our own warriors to hold the line? Or would that only escalate the conflict?
Should we send a messenger of peace instead? Or would that only amplify our perceived weakness?
As my council argued, I rubbed my forehead, a headache coming on strong. Maybe this challenge should have come as a relief, to distract me from my grief and my self–loathing. Instead, it only seemed to increase it so that I felt everything all at once.
Worry, grief, self–hatred…
There seemed no end in sight.
I would do as an Alpha needed. I would defend my pack even if it meant fighting at the front lines myself, leading my warriors.
But I would carry the weight of my grief with me. If I were to die on the battlefield, my last thought would be of Laila and my
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