The Ice Alpha’s Mate (Aria and Ryder) novel Chapter 54

Chapter 54

ARIA

When I make it home, I lose my will to bake.

I just feel so depressed.

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I throw myself on the bed and stare at the ceiling until my eyes start to burn. I can’t stop replaying that scene over and over again in my mind until it feels like I’m literally going crazy. The worst part is that every time the memory of Ryder hugging that girl crosses my mind, I feel a stab of pain right in my chest.

It’s pathetic because I know we could never work so this possessiveness and jealousy have no place inside of me, and I blame him for my feeling this way because he’s the one stalling the rejection.

But I feel this way regardless and there’s not much to be done. I’m having wildly dangerous thoughts in my mind, and the only thing that reassures me and makes me feel a little better is when I imagine myself walking up to them and hitting them both, but I’d especially hurt her.

Crazy, I know, and I’d be too embarrassed to ever admit this out oud.

Lying on my back and with my eyes glued to the ceiling is how my uncle finds me. He approaches my bed cautiously and asks, “Aria, are you okay? What happened?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“You can’t fool me, girl,” he says in a loud voice. “Tell me what happened right this minute. I saw the bag of groceries on the counter but you didn’t bake the cheesecake like you wanted to. Something must’ve happened.”

I turn to my side and keep my lips sealed, suddenly irritated by is intrusion. I then feel bad for my behavior because I know his concern is coming from a good place, but it’s not enough for me to answer his question.

“Cassandra will be here at any moment,” he reminds me. “You want her to find you like this? You were so excited to have a

chance to talk to her.”

Eventually, he gives up on me and exits my room, closing the door behind him. I feel so sad and angry that I don’t have the energy to stand up and get ready for dinner. Right now, I don’t care for it at all. Being a Nocturn is the cause of all my problems because if I were truly a runt, Ryder would never be my mate, and I wouldn’t be dealing with these ridiculous emotions that make me feel like the biggest moron in the pack.

I’m the one who pushed him away at first.

Maybe that’s what made him go to someone else. I wouldn’t ever be surprised if he walked up to me tomorrow and told me he wanted the rejection. Good. I hope he does that.

I’m tired of feeling this way.

About half an hour later, I hear a soft knock on my door before opens. I groan and say, “I’m really not up to it, Uncle Barty. Could you please leave me alone?”

“I’m sorry,” I hear Cassandra say. “I didn’t mean to intrude or anything. Your uncle told me you weren’t feeling well, and I figured I’d come check up on you, I can go if you want me to.”

I almost tell her to go, but I’m not that rude. Never have been. It up and she turns on the lights in my room. They sting my eyes, but only for a handful of seconds. “Sure. Come on in.”

Cassandra is wearing light-colored jeans and a deep red sweater and she has a normal-sized book under her arm. She moves closer to me to sit on the edge of my bed, smiling. “How are you feeling? I know how it can be. You’ve just found your wolf, and you’re not feeling like yourself at all.”

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Chapter 54

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I take a deep breath. “I wish it were just that.”

“Wanna tell me what this is about?”

I stare at her face and for several seconds, I try to convince myself that sharing my dilemma with her would definitely help me because I clearly don’t know how to deal with all this by myself. Maybe she’d give me some good insight as a woman. Something that would make all of this easier to handle.

I’ve never had a female parental figure around to guide me with certain things. Then again, this has never happened to me before. Cassandra keeps staring at me with sympathetic eyes, and I give in. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? Uncle Barty already knows about Ryder anyway.

So, I tell her, not leaving a single thing out. She listens attentively and even nods and rubs my arms when I get to today’s incident. The book is still tucked under her arm. When I’m finished, she tells me, “Oh, sweetheart. I can only imagine how all of this might feel for you. I was your age once, too, and trust me, it hurt when I was rejected by my fated mate.”

“Why did he reject you?”

“I was an Omega, and he was the Beta’s son,” she explains. “It wouldn’t have worked out, and honestly, he didn’t want it, either. I was enchanted by him because he was the Beta’s son and he was a handsome man, but in the end, I came to terms with what happened.”

“I feel the same way.”

“No,” Cassandra says quickly, “you don’t. And it seems that he doesn’t either, or he would’ve been quick to reject you because he’s the one who has more to lose.”

“I just told you about what I saw. The girl-”

“-means nothing if you’re still his fated mate, that I can assure you,” she claims, finishing for me. “It could have been anything.”

“I know what I felt,” I grumble.

Cassandra watches me for a long time, and then she hands me the book. “Here. This is what I promised you. In this book, you’ll find a lot of information about what it’s like to be a Nocturn. This book was written by my brother, Eroll.”

My eyes snap up to find hers. “Your brother was a Nocturn.”

“Yes. And before you ask, he was killed by my pack’s leaders for and I was spared because of my Omega wolf. He is the reason why I help other Nocturns; I do it all in his name, and it makes me feel like I’m paying homage to him. You know?”

I place my hand over hers. She sounds so hurt. “I’m so sorry it happened.”

“It was a long time ago.”

I stare down at the book. “I’ll get started on it.”

“You’ll discover a lot about yourself, but if you’d like, we can discuss a few things now. One thing that relates to your current situation is that when a Nocturn finds a mate, that’s it. That person is the only mate they’ll ever have. Second-chance mates don’t exist for you, Aria.”

For some reason, this pains me. After the rejection from Ryder, never have a mate again. “Oh.”

“This is because of the special bond between a Nocturn and their mate; you feel each other’s emotions more intensely, and you can transfer feelings to them, if you’d like. You can even pass down something like strength. Of course, this is more effective once you accept each other as mates and he marks you but I bet you’ve already felt…strange things.”

I nod. “I did, but none of it matters.”

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Chapter 54

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Cassandra sighs. “Oh, Aria. I feel your pain, I really do, and the only reason why you’re hurting like this is because there’s a part of you that cares for him, too. I can see it in your eyes. The way they light up when you mention him.”

I blush. Can this be true? Is it really that obvious?

“Yes, but…even if I felt a certain way about him, the pack would ever agree to our union, and if he finds out what I am…I don’t think he’d feel the same way anymore.”

“You can’t know if you don’t try talking to him.”

I tense up. This is a bad idea.

“Take your time,” she claims as she closes her hand around my forearm. “Don’t make hasty decisions. You’ll only end up regretting them. Try to feel that connection to him, no matter what anyone says. Where there’s love, there’s a way. Always.”

I smile at her, feeling a tiny bit better. I still don’t know what to do about Ryder, but I don’t feel as guilty about my feelings.

“Now, let’s go have some dinner, okay? I brought dessert, too.”

She takes me by the hand and I leave the book on my bed and fellow her to the door.

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