The Ice Alpha’s Mate (Aria and Ryder) novel Chapter 55

Chapter 55

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ARIA

I’ve never been this nervous to come to classes, even when it was my first day and I was scared about how everything would

Today, I’m a nervous wreck.

I’m torn between seeing Ryder and not. In other words, I’m even more confused now than I was before and that’s saying something. It feels like there’s a barrier between us that stops us from approaching each other no matter how hard we try, and deep down, I know this is my fault.

But what else was I supposed to do? Exposing myself to danger risks my uncle’s life, too, and after everything he has done for me, is it fair for me to do this to him?

I don’t know. I’m tired of thinking about this.

I head to my first healing arts class and grab my usual seat. I drop my bag near my feet and anxiously stare at my notebook, waiting for the professor to arrive. Behind me, a few girls take their seats as well, and they seem to be whispering urgently to each other.

Because they’re so close to me, I can hear what they’re saying clearly. “…yeah, and it makes no sense at all for them to bring an outsider to be Ryder’s mate just because he and Nadia aren’t going to work out anymore.”

“I agree. He could have anyone. How many of us Gammas couldve been his chosen if they’d just given us the chance? I mean, it’s so unfair.”

“Totally.”

“And that Alpha’s daughter isn’t even all that,” the other remarks bitterly. “I’m way prettier than her.”

“We both are!”

Their conversation comes to an end when the professor walks into class, but I’m embarrassingly ill after what I just heard. What the hell? This news genuinely burns to the point where I feel like I have a hole in my stomach.

I don’t pay attention at all, to the point where Professor Carol calls me out on it in front of everyone. Even so, I’m in too much pain for me to feel embarrassed by it. I have this urge to pack my bags and head home, and then I’ll never again come back to this place.

Though my thoughts are a raging mess, I force myself to concentrate and see this day through. I’ve got to go home and read the book Cassandra gave me, and I tell myself that this is what I’m looking forward to, to distract myself from what’s happening around me right now.

Before I know it, this class comes to an end and it’s time for history. History. The one class I have with him. At this point, Cassandra’s advice has flown out the window and I’m definitely rooted in reality now.

Maybe the conversation I overheard was a sign from the goddess that I need to wake up and stop being so delusional.

Ryder and I could never work out…he’ll always be destined for the daughter of an Alpha and not a girl like me.

Why do I care, anyway? I don’t.

Right?

As I enter class, holding my breath because of how nervous I feel I look up and make direct eye contact with him. He’s sitting behind my desk, as he usually does, and though he looks composed on the inside, the second I lay my eyes on him, I can sense that something’s off.

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17 22 Sat, Feb 21 EYEA

Chapter 55

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The way he’s looking at me sends shivers zipping down my sping, and to avoid feeling this way, especially in a class with so many people, I duck my head as I make my way to my seat.

His eyes follow me the entire time, like he doesn’t seem to care people see him looking at me that way. I sit down, feeling his eyes on me the entire time. A thin layer of sweat is coating my skin. I feel so hot that I have to throw my hair over one shoulder. If I had a hair tie with me, I’d put it up.

As soon as I do this, I hear a sound coming from behind me that makes me tense up, and my eyes widen, too. It sounds like a…whiff, followed by a growl. A rumble deep in his chest.

Oh, by the goddess, why’s he growling?

Professor Denver strides into the classroom, and I try to focus on him, but it’s almost impossible. “Good morning, everyone. I hope you’ve all done your bit of research on the topic we covered yesterday, because it’ll come out in tomorrow’s test. Also, in the next few days, we’ll be discussing something serious…a piece of our history that can’t be ignored. I’ll formally introduce the topic next week. It’s my favorite one. Well, let’s begin.”

He turns on the projector and continues where we left off yesterday. I try to write in my notebook, but I can’t hear a thing he’s saying because my heart is beating way too fast. I try to convince myself to be angry at him. He’s with someone else and now, everyone knows. Why does he keep looking at me?

Unless he wants to discuss the rejection, that is.

This thought spoils my mood completely and helps me focus a little more, even though I’m still fully aware of him. I can’t switch this awareness off. It’s a deep part of me for as long as we’re still mates.

After this class, it’ll be practice, and this thought erases all the progress I was making and makes me sick to my stomach again.

I’m on duty, so I’ll be seeing him.

At this point, it really feels like I can’t breathe, and I’m suffocating in my seat. Professor Denver goes on and on. I’ve completely forgotten what the topic even is. I have to get out of this place. It’s too hot. Too loud. My head is starting to hurt and feels like it’ll explode. I feel sick to my stomach still. I need to throw up. The memory of Ryder wrapping his arms around that Alpha’s daughter returns to my mind, and I see red. can’t take it anymore.

I pack my things quickly, ignoring how my hands are shaking, and I practically jump out of my seat, heading toward the door.

Once outside, I lean against the wall and focus on breathing. It’s easier to calm down now that I know his eyes aren’t on me.

But my relief is short-lived.

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