The Salvation Knights MC Jinx's Mistake (by KJ) novel Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Drunken Snowman Thoughts

Deidra’s P.O.V.

+25 Points

Emma and I spent a few more hours drinking and talking. She asked me all kinds of questions

about the MC and what it was like living in a town with them. I told her how it wasn’t bad at all, and

that the guys aren’t as bad as people say. Which launched her into asking all about every rumor flying around my hometown about The Salvation Knights.

“You don’t think the rumors are true about them?” Emma asked me. “Like any of them.”

I shrugged and poured myself another. We were pretty buzzed at this point. My goal was to get

wasted though. Because, hey, vacation. And Jinx. Fu.cking Jinx and his stupid se.xy manbun and his stupidly pretty blue–green eyes. Ugh!

“I mean, maybe some are true,” I replied. “I’m not saying they’re saints or anything, but they’re definitely not bad people.”

“You sure that’s not just because of the hot one with the sweet kid?” she asked.

“No, Jinx is probably the worst,” I mumbled. “Though, I don’t know War that well, and he’s pretty scary looking.”

Emma snorted at that.

“Who’s War?” she asked.

“Their president,” I told her. “But he’s never been rude either. In fact, I don’t think any of them ever have. Maybe a little aggressive with the flirting, but that didn’t happen to me much.”

“Really?” Emma asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, I mean, a couple of them tried once or twice but I guess my lack of enthusiasm put them off,” I replied with a shrug.

Emma suddenly gasped loudly and reached out to grab my arm with both hands.

“What if Jinx told them all to stay away from you?” she blurted.

“Uh, what?” I asked, confused as hell.

“I read books about motorcycle clubs,” she admitted shyly. “What if he has a secret crush on you, and he’s been telling everyone to leave you alone? Cause face it, girl, you’re hot.”

I blinked at her, trying to understand what she was saying.

“Why the hell would he do something like that?” I asked. “And don’t say it’s because he loves me or

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some sh.it. That would only make sense if he asked me out.”

“Well, you did say that you’ve always been mean to him,” she replied.

+25 Points

“So?” I said. “He’s used to it. It doesn’t bother him. Hell, half the time he smiles like it’s a fun game. He could ask me out. The man is dripping with confidence.”

Emma giggled at that.

“Didn’t look very confident to me when I saw him,” she mumbled.

“Anyway,” I said dramatically. “I know that the guys of the MC are good. None of them have given

me a reason to believe otherwise. As a matter of fact, a few of them helped me out right before I

left.”

“Really? With what?” Emma asked excitedly.

That was when I realized that I hadn’t told Emma about Theo at all. So, I launched into a whole

story about Sophie and Theo. We kept drinking, and I was pretty sure I was slurring my words at

this point. I ended the whole thing by telling her how the three men helped me set fire to my

mattress in Sophie’s yard, which made her fall backward in a fit of giggles.

“Oh my god! That’s so awesome!” she said.

“And they somehow got Sophie to drop the charges, I told her. “I think they threatened her or

something, but I was grateful for it. I wanted to thank them before I left, but I was running late to

the airport. I planned to stop there on the way home.”

I thought about how I had promised myself that I would go thank Jinx for what he did for me the day my parents died too. But now he’s here. Do I still thank him? Should I wait until after Christmas

is over at least? He probably doesn’t want to see me again either, right?

“What a fu.cking douche though,” Emma said. “The sounds like a weak–a.ss man, and Sophie! Oh

my god! So not a girls‘ girl.”

I snorted at that.

“No, she’s not,” I agreed. “Ya know, I should thank you,” I said with a smile on my face. “I’ve never made such a fast friend before, and I wasn’t even sure if I could ever trust another girl again

enough to call her a friend.”

Emma gave me a bright, understanding smile.

“I’m glad that I was able to give you some hope, and I’m so glad we became friends,” she replied.

Emma and I continued to talk about the MC and Jinx and Waylen. The more questions she asked, the more I realized that I knew them better than I thought. Which felt strange to me. How could I know so much about two people and not even realize it?

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$25 Points

A short time later, Dale was knocking on the cabin door. Emma and I were pretty drunk. There was

a heat in Dale’s eyes when his giggly wife dropped Herself in his arms. Honestly, it was adorable to

see. Dale didn’t even look at me as he practically carried his wife to his truck. His eyes were solely

focused on her. The love they had for each other was palpable. A tiny part of me was envious.

Not in a way that made me bitter, or made me miss Theo. Mostly because I could never bring

myself to feel negative over happiness like that, and because I never had that with Theo. I thought I did. I thought we were in love, but… not like that. Even if he did love me at some point, it wasn’t in

that soul–consuming way. I was trying to force what my parents had, hoping that I could convince

myself it was real.

Sophie really did do me a favor by taking Theo. I won’t have to spend the rest of my life

disappointed. And I don’t have to spend the rest of my life being Sophie’s shadow. She gave me

the opportunity to have more.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find Mr. Right or if he was even out there. I might not be lucky like my parents. Deb wasn’t. Not yet anyway. I just don’t want to get my hopes up and get crushed. Again.

Shaking the negativity from my mind, I tried to think of more positive things as I walked to the bedroom. I might find my person. I still have plenty of life left to live. I could have a love like Emma and Dale, like my mom and dad. Even if I don’t, I have Garden Sip, my baby. Plus, I have a good life back home.

I tried to keep the positivity flowing as I changed for bed. I walked past the window and paused. I peeked through the curtain at the back of that large cabin. It was late now. All the lights were off except for a couple downstairs. I couldn’t see anything though, no shadows, no blue–green eyes watching me. I was guessing that Jinx didn’t tell Waylen, otherwise the kid would have made an appearance at some point.

I looked at all the snowmen again. My heart ached at the daddy and son snowmen. At least they have other family. At least Waylen will never be alone. He has his dad, his grandparents, his aunt, his uncle, his cousins, and an entire MC full of family. It might be untraditional, but it’s his. And if something ever happened, and he lost it all, he’d still have me. I’d never abandon that kid, or any kid for that matter.

A sad smile touched my lips. I didn’t want to be bitter or sad. I wanted to be positive, but in my drunken haze I was struggling. I went from giggling with Emma, to happy thoughts, then negative thoughts, then back to positive things. Now I have tears filling my eyes as I look at the family of

snowmen.

Because, for some irrational reason, I’m feeling even more alone than before. Because even though he has no reason to… Jinx didn’t come check on me. He didn’t tell Waylen about me. Probably didn’t tell his family either. He didn’t ask if was here all alone. And for some reason, that hurt. I felt invisible. Just like I always did to everyone. This time it felt colder and lonelier though.

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+25 Points

I shut the curtain and got into bed. I didn’t cry, refused to let myself. It was stupid for me to feel the way that I was. Jinx didn’t owe me anything and I didn’t expect anything from him. I was just drunk and emotional. Tomorrow was going to be a new day, and I was determined to make it a good

one.

Even if I spent it completely alone.

11

Kj

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