Three Years Later, He Came Back Begging novel Chapter 143

Helen wasn’t totally wrong. Honestly, Bonnie had probably argued enough with Lawrence to last her whole life. A little over a year of dating, and all her fire was gone. It was as if that relationship just emptied her out.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out everything—the people, the memories—but it barely worked. Insomnia really was the worst kind of torture, and Bonnie knew it way too well.

Back when they first broke up, Bonnie was a mess. The withdrawal hit hard. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t help opening up Lawrence’s chat over and over, sending him messages she already knew he’d never see. That little red exclamation mark hurt way more than it should have. Her heart would start pounding, her breath would catch, and then she’d be curled up somewhere, crying for what felt like hours.

Rationally, she knew she needed to stop, but she couldn’t control her thoughts, her hands, or even her eyes.

It felt like she was split in half. One side of her was totally numb, going through the motions, scrolling through old conversations and pictures, or spotting Lawrence’s familiar silhouette in Hannah’s posts. Reliving the pain again and again, as if her heart kept getting carved up. Somehow, she’d gotten addicted to feeling miserable, as if every ache let her hold onto some weird, fragile balance.

The pain numbed her, eventually. At least that way, she could go about her life, keep up with classes, pretend she was still functioning.

But then there was the other version of Bonnie, the one that just wanted to scream at her for being so pathetic. That side called her spineless, embarrassing, a total clown, yelling at her to get a grip.

Stop checking his profile. Stop thinking about him. Just stop loving him already.

He’s not worth it.

He doesn’t want you.

Insomnia was the last thing Bonnie ever wanted to deal with. She’d tried everything: working out till she was sore all over, listening to white noise, meditating, herbal teas. Nothing helped.

She couldn’t touch sleeping pills anymore, either. They wrecked her stomach, and she still remembered the burning pain from last time.

Tonight was one of those bad nights. Shadows from her past came surging back—Hannah’s sudden, out-of-nowhere apology, the fear that a wave of ugly rumors might be waiting around the corner. Everything felt surreal, and Bonnie couldn’t tell if she was in the present or back in those awful first days.

So here she was, lying in the dark, sleepless again. She tossed and turned, eyelids flickering, brain stuck halfway between waking and dreams. At some point, she drifted off—not that it helped. The second she managed to doze, her dreams turned into a confusing, messy swirl, like her head just couldn’t let her rest no matter how tired she was.