Second Assault — Bond And Treason — novel Chapter 4

I don't feel like going on this time.

I close my eyes, abandoning myself in the desolation and despair of not knowing what fate will bring.

I am alone.

I don't know how long I've been here and I don't know how much longer I must wait to get out.

I miss the wolf. His presence brought me comfort and security.

Now his absence hits me with silence and emptiness.

His words are alive within me, however. They remain a constant reminder that I cannot and will not get rid of.

Should I listen to him? Should I go on and not give up, no matter how dark the future holds for me?

Will I manage to find him afterward?

Uncertainty.

Of not knowing what will happen to me. So taking a deep breath, I slowly open my eyes.

I'm still in the woods, but it looks different. There's light, much more light than before.

And now the moon is big and shines with a faint blue light around its circumference.

I take a look around and the trees start to grow.

The earth trembles beneath my feet and the stones jump as the branches spread out and large, beautiful green leaves grow at their ends.

I am stunned.

I have never seen anything so impressive and profoundly beautiful as what is happening in front of my eyes at this moment.

My head is tilted back, watching the treetops fill up with more and more new life.

The forest looks completely different now.

It is no longer gloomy and frightening, it is now full of vitality and warmth, though it preserves a little mystery.

Suddenly, something catches my attention.

«Come closer».

Hearing him, takes my breath away.

I can't get used to the effects he has on me and I haven't even seen what he looks like.

Before I can avoid it, my feet lead me in the direction of the voice.

I take small steps at first, trying to lengthen this moment as much as possible.

«We have time».

—Please, don't leave again.

I answer in the air, shaking my head in all directions in the faint hope that I might find him in the shade of one of the trees.

Without being able to see anything, I keep moving. The light emitted by the moon is not as intense as before, but it conveys a different feeling.

Warmth.

A gentle emotion runs through my body, making me feel as if I somehow belong here.

«Keep moving. Don't stop».

I clench my hands in fists and speed up the pace, for fear that the voice will leave me once again.

I'm starting to see little piles of grass around me. The tiny leaves tickle my fingers as I walk, but I keep moving.

Water.

I manage to see water as I go. A short shore opens up into a huge lake.

The waves are completely calm, while the moonlight reflects as a mirror on its surface.

«This is it».

I feel him so close yet so far away.

I long to feel his heat, to be able to have him in front of me.

To have the possibility to know if it is real or just a product of my voracious imagination and in need of a lever to keep me sane.

—Where are you?

My voice comes out loud but shaky. My eyes are wide open, trying to see everything carefully, hoping to catch some movement.

—Why can't I see you?

The silence extends as I stand on the shore of the great lake.

In the twilight of night, its waters seem to be black, though I am not fooled.

«Come in, Xander».

What?

Go in?

No, I don't want to.

—I'm scared.

I answer with full and raw honesty. I don't want to go in there, I don't want to risk something holding me down and submerging me.

I could die.

I don't want to die.

Isn't that the critical point of everything?

«Don't be afraid, my love».

—Who are you?!

I demand without being able to stop myself.

I'm losing control of my emotions quickly and I don't like this situation at all.

—Let me see you!

My eyes fill up with tears quickly and before I can stop them, they begin to slide down my cheeks.

I hold my arms tightly, hugging my body, in an attempt to control the spasms that are lashing me roughly.

«I would never hurt you, Xander. You're a part of me, just as I'm a part of you».

His words trigger something inside me, my tremors and sobbing stop instantly.

I look up at the sky for a few seconds, then close my eyes and breathe.

I breathe.

I breathe.

And suddenly, there it is.

His presence envelops me with a faint whisper of love and tenderness that unsettles me from head to toe.

I don't see him, but somehow, I know he's here.

With me.

Just like he said.

—I can feel you.

I whisper, in a voice so low that it barely comes out in a thin thread of sound, the smile on my lips so big that it threatens to split my face in two.

Joy.

Pure, liquid as water, light as the wind, solid as diamond.

Joy. In all its shapes and colors.

Relief.

Yes, relief. To be able to confirm that he's here, that he's not a figment of my imagination.