Sinful Mates 1-3 novel Chapter 163

　　Thaddeus POV

　　I ran, I didn’t know what else to do. My little sister laying limp in my arms as I cradled her. Her bubbly, carefree, happy self no longer with us. She saved him, gave her own life to save my mate because she knew, I couldn’t live without him. But how does she expect me to live without her, she was baby sister, we fought and bickered but at the end of the day she was always there. She was my first friend, my only friend growing up. We were each other’s rock. She knew all my secrets and I knew she would keep them safe, nothing I ever did was unforgivable to her. She loved me despite my many flaws, despite the pain I caused her, she still loved me, loved me enough to throw her life away for me.

　　I sat on the mountain with her that overlooked my home, my parents were there with my daughter and my mates, yet I couldn’t bear to see the heartbreak on their faces. How do I face them knowing I am reason for her death? All my mistakes and grievances coming back to haunt not only me but them, yet my sister paid the ultimate punishment, a punishment that was for me only to take. I sat her on my lap, the life drained from her face, gold veins littered her skin from where her magic bleed out of her. She shouldn’t have to pay for my sins, none of them should have to.

　　My mother though, she was the one I worried about having to face, how could she ever love me after knowing I was the reason for the death of the one child that was actually good, pure within herself.

　　Things can’t end this way, I can’t live with this void, forever lingering and haunting me for the rest of my life. Live with the knowledge that she died for me. Live without her, I would give it up for them, before I couldn’t see how much damage I was causing stuck within myself, I was selfish. Selfish to think I could control the very thing my mother and Astral tried to protect the world from, I now know differently, none of it was worth losing her or my family.

　　My mind for the first time was perfectly clear, the usual ramblings of the darkness creeping over me, were now nothing but distant whispers of my insanity, now I had found a new purpose, a reason to give it up and not just Amara. I am not willing to lose anyone else to it, not my family and not my daughter. Nothing is more important than her, not even my mates and for her, I will give it up, trading my unstable insanity for a new sense of clarity, and new will to live and for my sister. Nothing had ever felt righter than this decision because, I made it on my own.

　　Pulling my phone from my pocket, I look up my Aunts number pressing dial I wait, excitement bubbling within, hope. Something I hadn’t held onto for the longest of times. The phone rings a few times before she finally picks it up and answers.

　　“Thaddeus?” she asks not hiding her shock.

　　“Have you still got Astral’s grimoires?” I ask, I just needed to check one thing, before I proceed. Make sure I am correct because I can’t have the darkness taint my little sister, she wouldn’t be able to live with it.

　　“Yes, but you don’t need them, I know them word for word. What happened?” she asks concern laced her words.

　　“Say someone dies, and I use my magic to bring them back, will it taint them or just disintegrate when it hasn’t got a host to feed off.”

　　“What are you talking about Thaddeus, who died?”

　　“It doesn’t matter because I am bringing them back, will it taint her or disintegrate back to the realm it came from.”

　　“It should disintegrate, what are you doing, who died?” Her panicked frantic voice screeching through the phone.

　　“Thaddeus, I swear if you hurt Evelyn, I will kill you myself,” my aunt screams at me.

　　“It’s not Evelyn, Aunty B,” I tell her, I couldn’t leave her wondering.

　　“Who?”

　　“It’s Mara,” I tell her using my sisters nickname, I used to use when I couldn’t pronounce her name probably when I was boy.

　　I hear her gasp a hiccupped sob leaving her. I wait, giving her a chance to register what I said, let it sink in. When she suddenly gasps loudly, and I hear her rummaging around before hearing the faint flicker of pages turning.

　　“I thought you said you knew it off the top of your head?” I ask suddenly worried.

　　“How did she die?” she asks, her voice rushed.

　　“She burnt herself out, she used all her magic,” I tell her, the thought saddened me because to do that would have been extremely painful. It’s not like overusing a muscle, it’s like losing part of your soul, feeling the life sucking out of you.