The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 221

I watch him resist, but he wants me, it’s singing out from every pore of his body. I know he has very little will when it comes to me. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck as he leans in to go for another soft kiss, catching him by surprise and he tumbles on top off me gloriously.

“Fuck’s sake, Emma!” He snaps in sparking anger rolling off me onto the bed with a furious glare and jumps up onto his feet like a panther. “I could’ve hurt you or the baby.” His lust replaced with sheer annoyance. I instantly bristle and scowl at him; spurned on by his overreaction and the rejection to what I really need.

“Is this what I have to endure for eight months? Being treated like fine china and pandered to? Regardless of my behavior?!” I snap, frustration turning me into that crazy monster he once denied an orgasm to in his mother’s gardens, my good old trusty anger bouncing up out of nowhere to devour me again.

“Yes!” His retort is nowhere near as anger fueled, but it still pisses me off majorly.

“No fucking way.” I haul myself off the bed and start slamming through cupboards looking for clothes. I have some here that Jefferson collected, and the new things Jake ordered for me. Rage is coursing through me that he would deny me this, that he of all people, would be annoyed at ME about this.

“What are you doing?” He follows me and tries to haul me back with a hand on my upper arm, but I shove him off aggressively.

“I’ll leave you and go back to Queens if you’re going to start being like this.” I huff and stamp around, knowing I’m being crazy and irrational. Jake’s just trying to be the good guy and I’m acting like the bitch that I have been for weeks; acting this way because he doesn’t bloody well touch me anymore.

Your choice, Emma!

“You don’t want me to take care of you?” He croaks, dumbfounded and more than a little hurt. I glance up and catch the expression on his face, his little lost boy look, and it physically hurts me; a sharp pain in my stomach fueling my temper tantrum.

“I want you to rip my goddamn dress off and remind me of the guy I fell crazily in love with! The one who didn’t take no for an answer or me pushing him away as a hindrance!” I snap and turn on him with tears in my eyes. “I miss you … The real you, not this over gentle and walking on eggshells keeping his distance you; I miss us, Jake and it’s torturing me.”

“It’s what you asked for, Emma, and it’s what you need. You think rushing back into sex is going to fix how you feel? Well, it’s not and I don’t want it that way.” He runs a hand through his hair in complete frustration and starts pacing around the side of the bed to avoid being too close to me. He’s agitated and angry and something else; hopeless. He’s out of his depth with this, just as I am, neither of us knowing what we should be doing to fix this.

“I’ve spent the last two weeks so confused with what I need from you and holding you at arms-length, but it isn’t working. You know why? Because you’re not being you either. I need you; not this half-assed version of you! I need the Jake who came after me in Chicago; who pushed me into a hotel wall and kissed me; the Jake who stormed across a dance floor to find me. I need him to come get me because I’m so damned lost right now.” I cry, a sudden wave of emotion hitting like a ton of bricks as tears spill down my cheeks. That wave of heartbreak overtaking me as everything I’ve been holding back, deep inside, works its way free.

“You need time, Emma. I’m not going to risk losing you by rushing things and pushing you further from me. I would die without you.” He implores me pleadingly. Stopping his frantic walking and comes close to me, his hands pausing on my face, brushing away my hair and tears.

“How can you know what I need when I don’t even know what I need?” I almost wail at him, emotions soaring, as I wave my hands around angrily between us.

“I want that too, I miss us. I miss this … Just being able to touch you and kiss you whenever I want to, just being able to be close to you again, this is everything; this is my reason for breathing, baby.” He rests his chin on top of my head and sighs heavily.

“I miss this too … I want this back Jake; give it back to me.” My tears have turned to silent droplets trickling down my face and he tightens his strong arms protectively; a silent promise to keep me safe and always take away my pain if he can.

I love him so much.

“You can have this back, Emma, all of it. There is nothing in the world I want more, right now, than this.

Just not sex, not yet trust me on this baby.” He lifts a

hand running it across his face rubbing hard at the spot between his eyebrows. “I can’t believe I’m even saying this … I won’t touch you in that way until I know that you’re ready for us to go there again. You’ll know when, Emma, and you’ll thank me for not doing this; as much as it’s killing me. I need your forgiveness first and I need to forgive myself before we can ever go there. I need to accept what I did to you too, I need to be able to look in the mirror, not hating what I see staring back before I can allow myself to give you every part of me again.”

He sighs and kisses me on the forehead, each touch and caress makes me curl into him more and more, trying to take from this what I need right now; more than anything I need Jake wrapped around me and loving me in the way only he can.