The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 276

I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.

No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!

The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and let him in the ways I did before Ray tried to kill me. But it’s not going to be like that this time. I need to be the one to put the pieces back together in the aftermath of what happened. I need to accept help from others who only want me to feel loved and safe, but I also need to be the one to put Jake back together after this. He’s going to need me to help him get through this, his guilt will eat at him if I don’t.

I bite at a tinkle of defiance growing into something more.

I’m stronger than this.

I push with every ounce of strength and stubbornness within me and aim for the light trying with all my might to break free. I can feel it; every ounce of my being is coming together and fighting with an almost deafening pain. The exhaustion of trying to wake up is almost drowning me back down into the darkness. I know I’ll only need one push to break the barrier holding me here, that once I leave this place I’ll be free and never come back again, the confines of my prison will fall away, and I’ll be free.

I CAN DO THIS.

I push with everything within me, all I’ve got but reality comes up too fast and my senses go into overdrive with the sudden explosion of noises, smells, and sounds consuming my brain and the pain and aches of my body overwhelm me all at once. The harsh lights from the room are blinding even with my eyes closed, from one side the smell of coffee and flowers are rushing up to nose into my brain and I can feel the softness of a bed under me. My body is heavy, and my limbs are aching too much to move but I know I could move them if I try. I suddenly feel connected to the heaviness I know is me and no longer floating in some weird tunnel. My face aches and my eyes are glued shut. My mouth is dry and cracked and suddenly the nausea consumes me.

Yet, somehow, through all of that, I know I’m here with him, in his reality and not some dream-like state anymore on the other side. I can hear the hum of machines, the noise of something blowing air in and out and the mumbling sounds of hushed voices passing by in the distance.

“I just don’t know what else to do, baby.” Jake’s voice breaks and tears me in two. The sound of defeat and broken-hearted pain is so obvious, I can almost sense his body sagging close to me and I can hear his breathing so very close, the smell of his aftershave and just him, luring me out of my haze.

I blink my eyes open and become brutally aware of the bright white crisp surroundings and agonizing light over my head, buzzing like an electronic device about to explode. Blinking harshly to try to adjust and fighting the will to just close them once more as pain envelopes my skull.

A warm heat is enveloping my right hand securely, a touch I’d know from anywhere and it brings my full focus and attention straight to the one person I want to see and feel right now. My eyes flicker once more before finally being able to open enough to see things, I gaze down to my hand before taking in my surroundings.

His large tanned hand grasps at my lifeless delicate one and I look so pale in comparison. He’s holding on desperately, fingers entwined softly, dwarfing my hand inside his. That strong forearm exposed, his olive skin and hints of tattoos along his inner arm under the rolled-up sleeve of the shirt I saw him put on the day he left the house. It’s rumpled and wrinkled, and my eyes follow the length of his arm up to his beautiful face.