The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 85

Go away, Jake.

I silently pray.

“Emma, open the door … For the love of god.” He returns, his voice calmer, yet still booming through at me.

“Someone’s at the door, Jake …”

Go answer it and leave me alone to freak out. Leave me to calm down and stop shaking like a leaf.

I’m trying to sound cold and cool, but I’m petrified.

“I don’t give a fuck, now open the door … Why are you hiding?” he’s exasperated, hurt.

Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!

For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.

The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.

I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating all over and I know it’s not just from fear. My body is still reeling from what he did to me; the overwhelming climax that rocked my entire world.

I pull off the remains of my clothes until I’m fully naked and swathe myself in the plush bathrobe, hoping to feel more secure. Hoping to feel a slight releasing of this crazy cold fear.

There are voices in the room … I can’t make them out, but one is Jake and one sounds like it might be female.

Who’s he talking to?

My curiosity calms me, nosiness becoming the overriding emotion, pulling me out of my own head. A little green-eyed monster pushing herself out, knowing he’s with a woman out there and my suspicion is peaked. At least it means he’s leaving me alone, for that I’m grateful, but I need to calm down and pull myself together. I need to get my emotions in check. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do, I need to think, work out the next course of action, put it all back in the little black box.

I still hear the voices; they’re raised now, and I hold still. I strain to hear, but I’m scared to get too close to the door. I don’t know how to navigate this … I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done.

What happens now? I don’t want to be another one of his play mates, he picks up and drops on a whim … … How could that work when I’m with him all of the time? I pale at the sudden realization.

He won’t want me around anymore, if I’m just another fuck buddy. He never keeps any of them around; he doesn’t date anyone beyond a month at most, and never goes back to dating someone he’s seen before. Very rarely anyway. It’s not his style to back track. We can’t work together if this is what we do. Have done. He’ll replace me. Fire me.

I’m not sure I want to do that again anyway … I’m dirty and ashamed for letting this happen. I did what every other female on the planet does. I fell at the feet of Jake Carrero and gave him all of me. I am no better than any other women he has ever had sex with.

No, in fact I am worse!

I am a broken, emotionally messed-up woman who turns every little act into a huge brain fuck and over thinks every tiny detail. I am a woman who let herself fall for him, despite knowing what he is.