Ascension of a Gamma novel Chapter 57

Chapter 57 Deserved Regrets

– Flynn

My throat felt dry as I stood outside the door. I put up a wall to get some quiet in my head for the pack wouldn’t stop talking about him. I understood their confusion, concern, and anger, but I needed to think for myself.

“How is he?” I asked as the pack healer

went out.

She smiled softly then replied, “He needs to rest, Alpha. Wherever he was, he wasn’t treated kindly.” Her smile dropped into a frown. She looked like she wanted to ask something but hesitated.

“Thank you,” I said before she could ask me a question, I didn’t know the answert o. I felt the bond break then and so did the rest of the pack.

“Is he awake?”

“He’s asleep. It’s good to have him back, Alpha,” she said then walked away.

His room was kept clean after his death. Now he laid there, in the dark, as if he

had always been. There was so much I wanted to tell him after he died, so much pain that had never truly left, but now that he was here, I didn’t know where to start. 1

Turning the lamp on, I stood beside the bed looking down at him. He had lost so much weight that his cheekbones

protruded, his arms almost meat and bones. Scars and fresh wounds laced around his arms. He had become too weak that he wasn’t healing as he should.

I used to look up to him. It was my dream to surpass him. He had always been strong and in my eyes, insurmountable, but now he was nothing but meat and bones. My hands balled into fists.

“Who did this to you?” I whispered.

We dismissed the attack as rogues. It was difficult to believe that rogues could take down the Alpha and Head Gamma, so we blamed Anna. We made ourselves believe that she was a distraction, and they couldn’t fight because they had to protect her. It was injustice, but she carried everyone’s anger, frustration, and grief o n her shoulders, alone.

Everyone but Carson. He believed she was innocent. His father went rogue which drove his mother mentally unstable. One day, news of his father’s death reached the pack, and his mother soon died, heartbroken. But he never blamed it on her.

I didn’t deserve my Beta as much as I didn’t deserve her. When Carson said he was bringing her back for a visit, it was m y chance to ask her to take me back, not a sa mate, but as her friend – the shoulder she used to cry on, depend on, trust on.

Father groaned softly, snapping me out o f my thoughts. His eyes fluttered open; those same blue eyes that I took after stared back at me.

“Flynn,” he said, his voice hoarse.

I poured him a glass of water as he sat up, visibly uncomfortable with the IV drip. I gripped my right wrist with my left handt o keep it steady, but it kept shaking that a bit of water spilled.

“He-here,” I said, handing it to him.

His fingers touched mine as he reached for the glass, calloused and bony but

warm. Then his hand fell. Shakily, I helped him drink a quarter.

“You’ve grown,” he said after a short silence.

He watched me like he was studying my face and I tried to look at anything but him. I couldn’t. I failed him. I wasn’t like him. I made a member of my pack suffer, I shunned out the love of my life – he’d hate me for these. And I deserved it.

As I thought about all my mistakes, a weight was placed on my shoulder. I raised my eyes to see his hand on it, and looking at him, he had a beaming look on his face – the same look he gave me when he was proud of me. I didn’t deserve it.

Why are you looking at me like that?

“You’re the Alpha now,” he said as he cupped my face and smiled. “It must’ve been tough.”

I nodded. It was. Losing him, I couldn’t keep myself together for months afterward. It was with Carson’s help that I found the courage to get out of my room. That very same day, I saw Anna,

falling down her cheeks, then to the clothes.

I was starting to get worried… about her, about him. I had too many questions in m y mind.