A Kiss At Midnight (Delilah and Caelum) novel Chapter 139

10:50 Fri, Sep 18

A kiss At Midnight

STILL A CHANCE

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CAELUM’S POV

My fist slamms into the punching bag again and again, not giving a damn about the pain in my hands, or the hours I had spent at it since returning from school.

Not even the exhaustion dragging at every muscle

My body wasn’t the problem, my mind was. It had become a relentless, unwinnable battle. I struck the bag faster, barely leaving myself time to breathe between punches as my muscles burns and shoulders throbbed.

Sweat ran down the side of my face,, soaking through my shirt but I ignored it all. I needed the distraction, even if it wasn’t working. At best, it dulled the pain in my chest enough to keep me breathing.

Because whenever my thoughts fell silent, even for a second, her face appeared, her voice, words.

What else was it suppose to be

I hit the bag harder, afraid that if I stopped, I would break..completely and would reach for my phone to call her. Beg her to take those words back,to stop pretending that whatever had happen between us meant nothing. Beg her to admit we were more than the deal.

But what if I was wrong, what if I had been an idiot all along?

Had I been foolish to believe we had become something more, letting myself get so far ahead that I had convinced myself she felt the same way, when to her this had been nothing more than an arrangement with an expiration date.

I drove another punch into the bag, harder, wondering if I had been blinded by what I wanted and had mistaken everything. her eyes, the way she looked at me, letting me into parts of her life she kept hidden from everyone else.

Had I imagine the meaning behind it all and taken every moment between us, turning it into something it had never been..

“Fuck, dude,” before I could throw another punch, someone grabs me from behind, yanking me away from the bag.

“Let go of me,” I struggle against the hold, twisting my body, trying to pull free.

“Jesus Christ, Caelum!” Ryder tightens his grip, “do you want to lose your hands if you keep going like that?”

“Get the fuck off me.”

I turned sharply, and before I could think better of it, my fist connects with his stomach and he doubles over with a groan.

“Okay, okay,” clutching his stomach, “that hurt like a mother fucking bitch.”

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10:50 Fri, Sep 18

A Kiss At Midnight

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I barely heard him as I was trying to breathe but my chest was rising and falling too quickly, my heartbeat spiking until I could feel every frantic thud beneath my ribs.

Everything suddenly felt too much, the noise..anger..thoughts. It all came crashing down at once

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I brought both hands to the sides of my head, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to calm myself. Breathe, just fucking breathe. But my lungs wouldn’t cooperate.

My muscles trembled with exhaustion, and sweat continues to drip from my face, then I felt something warm slide from one of my hands. A drop hit the floor and I opened my eyes, looking down.

Everything was blurry for a second, then I saw the tiny droplets of blood beneath my hand

Ryder finally straightens, slowly recovering from the punch as his expression changes when he looked at me.

“Caelum..” I didn’t answer as he took a step closer, I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him, “Hey, are you okay?” His brow furrows, “Why is it that every fucking time I’m around you, you look like you’re going through some existential crisis? And you look a hell of a lot worse than you did the last time.”

I said nothing, my legs suddenly gave out beneath me and I drop onto the floor of the ring, laying flat on my back, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Ryder’s expression immediately shifts and he crouches down in front of me, “Hey..” I continue staring up. “really, are you okay?” this time, the worry was unmistakable in his voice but I still didn’t answer him.

Instead, I stared at the ceiling for another few seconds before finally asking, “What are you doing here?”

He raises an eyebrow, “Way to feel the love..” I shot him a look and he immediately sighs, “Okay, clearly not in the mood for jokes.”

Shifting his weight, he rubs the back of his neck. “Your dad has been trying to reach you, same with your mom. And they both can’t seem to get through because you aren’t picking up your damn phone,” I glanced toward the corner where I had thrown my phone earlier, “So they asked me to stop by the house and see if you were still breathing.”

He gave me a pointed look. “And, well..” he gestures toward me, “Here you have it,” I said nothing still and he sighs again before lowering himself onto the floor beside me, laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

For a while, neither of us spoke, the silence stretches between us, broken when he spoke again. “Do you want to tell me why you’re in a total wreck?”

My jaw clenches ans I swallowed hard, fighting down the pain that rose in my chest. Beside me, he turns his head and I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face, I kept looking away.

“It must be bad,” he said quietly, “For you to be punching the bag until you’re bleeding and looking like you’re about to fucking break.”

My lips parted, nothing came out, then I closed them again. For a few seconds, I couldn’t make myself say it, before finally whispering “Delilah and I broke up.”

The words sounded strange the moment they left my mouth and I let out a bitter laugh. “Broke up?” I stared

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A Kiss At Midnight

at the ceiling. “as If we were even a thing to begin with.”

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He turns his head sharply toward me, “What?” his voice was filled with genuine surprise, “How the hell did that happen?”

“How did this go from you clearing things up with her and finally confessing your feelings to…” he gestures vaguely between us, “This?”

I let out a long, tired sigh, then turned my head in the opposite direction, staring at the empty space beyond the ring. “There was no chance to clear anything up,” my throat tightened, “no chance to confess how I feel about her. She ended things.”

The words settled heavily between us, “She broke it off before I ever got the chance.”

Ryder was quiet for a moment thenhe said, “It was clearly because of the misunderstanding, so talk things out with her.”

I shook my head slowly, “I don’t know if it was because of the misunderstanding. She told me it was nothing more than a deal between us,” My voice felt heavier with every word, “she said it meant nothing to her.”

“That might not be true, Caelum. She could’ve just been hurt and..”

“No.” I cut him off, staring at the ceiling, my jaw tightening, “”I’ve been so fucking ahead of myself. She is Delilah Quinn, Crestmont’s dearest dream girl. And she’s way, way above my league.”

“Caelum..”

“What did I expect?” my voice cracks with frustration, “that we’d somehow end up together in some fucked up fairy tale that wasn’t even real? why would she pick me when she could have any boy she wanted?” my chest tightens, “Why would she settle for the nerd?”

He stares at me for a moment before shaking his head, “I think we both know that isn’t true. You know Delilah’s personality, she isn’t the type to choose someone based on some stupid idea of who’s above or below her. She doesn’t give a shit about that, and you know that.”

Lifting a hand to cover my eyes, “I don’t know anything,” the admission came out quieter than everything I’d said before, “I don’t know what to believe.”

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